Steppin’ Out

We are young but getting old before our time
We’ll leave the T.V. and the radio behind
Don’t you wonder what we’ll find
Steppin’ out tonight

Joe Jackson has been a favorite of mine since Look Sharp appeared on the scene (don’t we all try to look sharp in our en femme outings?), and he recently performed at a smaller venue in St. Louis, supporting a new album. So I decided to step out and see him and his band.

I had a pretty full day. First up was my three-year checkup with the surgeon who removed the two small melanomas from my back. He poked and prodded and gave me the all clear–and instructions to come back in a year.

As I was halfway there, I decided to revisit the one local YMCA that has an outdoor pool. It was a hot sunny day, and I like swimming in outdoor pools when I can. Probably not the best idea–after getting the all clear from the doctor–to go swimming topless (guy me) in the midday sun, but I had my reasons.

The plan after my boy swim–I have multiple triathlons scheduled over the next several months that I need to train for–was to swap out my male togs for a two-piece red number, accompanied by light makeup and wig. A couple of weeks earlier, I had screwed up my courage and spent about an hour at the same pool in my favorite new bikini (story to come, eventually). But after my swim I scanned the shaded areas and didn’t see any vacated lounge chairs, so I decided against, as I don’t do sun well (both heat and exposure). 

Plan B was changing into a new outfit from American Eagle–my new go to spot for fun and reasonably priced clothes, though aimed at a demographic two generations younger than me–that I tried on during my Dee-Tour to Pittsburgh, and ordered the next day on my way home. It wasn’t my first time of walking into a Y as a guy and walking out as a girl. Shorts and a cute top are a new combo for me, but I think it’s a good look on me.

I stopped at the West County Mall for lunch at the food court and a stroll through the mall. While at Nordstrom I had a chance to talk to my GG friend Karla, who works there (we had been out to dinner a few days before, with that story to follow also). I tried on a few outfits and headed to Costco to stock up.

Two fun things happened at Costco. A woman first said she liked my top (I said thanks) and at checkout the woman doing the checkout scanned my items, looked at my credit card (which has my boy picture and is my Costco membership card), and asked “Is he here?” I answered, “that’s me” and she looked at me again, apologized, and rang me up.

I was undecided what to wear to the concert, but given the heat, I wanted something heat friendly and comfortable. I call this one my Minnie Mouse dress. It’s fun and it’s cute–and the woman in the loo after the concert said she loved my dress.

It was a good show, and I had a good vantage point. He and his band played for about an hour and a half, a mixture of older songs and five new ones from his latest album. Besides “Steppin’ Out” and “Is She Really Going Out with Him?” he played another song that resonates, “You Can’t Get What You Want (Till You Know What You Want).”

After the concert, I strolled down the street to a pretty famous local bar called Blueberry Hill (Chuck Berry used to play monthly shows in the basement). The night was still warm, and the breeze blew my dress around, a fun sensation. I ordered my current drink of choice–a hard cider–and enjoyed the flavor while having the satisfaction of being out in public in a really cute dress, and feeling really good about it (and out in my new wig, yes another story to follow). I finished my cider, took a few pictures outside, walked back to my car, and enjoyed being out on a warm summer night.

One final coda to this post, regarding something I posted on a crossdresser forum while sitting at the booth in Blueberry Hill enjoying my cider. A member posted a thread titled “Why we don’t go out ….”. The member wrote about a young gay man who was assaulted and thrown off a bridge (in 1984) and drowned, and because of that, she’s afraid to go out.

These types of posts irritate me to no end. There are many in our world who would like to step out in the world, but the fear overcomes them. These types of posts reinforce those fears.

I felt compelled to write this response and posted three of the pictures in this post for emphasis.

“I am sitting in a bar looking as below after being at a concert nearby. A woman at the concert, in the loo afterwards, said she loved my dress. A woman at Costco earlier today said she liked my top. The checkout person at Costco looked at my card (with my boy picture) and asked is he here? I said it’s me. I’ve been going out for almost 10 years with zero issues. I’m sorry, your title is wrong. It’s not why “we” don’t go out. It’s why “you” don’t go out.

It’s not 1984 anymore. People are a ton more accepting. And women are in many ways FAR more at risk than any of us, and they still go out. One can live in fear of the potential dangers. But the odds say I’m more at risk driving home than being out in public in a dress. There is no better time to be LGBT than today.”

If you want to go Steppin’ Out, I encourage you to do so.

Editorial comment: Amen, sister!