City's breaking down on a camel's back
They just have to go 'cause they don't know wack
So, while you fill the streets, it's appealing to see
You won't get undercounted 'cause you're damned and free
You got a new horizon, it's ephemeral style
A melancholy town where we never smile
And all I wanna hear is the message beep
My dreams, they got her kissing 'cause I don't get sleep, no
Love me some Gorillaz! Yeah, I know I skew old in many ways, but my musical tastes are always seeking something new, different, exciting. I am sure many of my readers from the same demographic as I am, have no clue who this band is. And while I may be skewing young here, this song is 21 years old!
Gorillaz’s “Feel Good Inc.” is a dystopian critique of consumerism, mass media, and artificial happiness. It mocks how society chases cheap, corporate-fed pleasures to numb themselves, while those in power use that distraction to control free thought and authentic creativity. And you thought it was just a rap. Gorillaz are an English virtual band formed in 1998 by musician Damon Albarn and artist Jamie Hewlett. The band primarily consists of four fictional members, and their universe is presented in media such as music videos, interviews, comic strips and short cartoons. Gorillaz’s music has featured collaborations with a wide range of musicians and featured artists, with Albarn as the only permanent musical contributor. The band is swinging through our town in October. Your girl may need to check them out. TMI, okay, we move on.
Well, seems to be zero correlation between this song and my day! In fact, the title (selected well in advance of the actual day) nailed this experience. Wednesday, June 10, 2026, it was off to Sugarcreek for a background role as a diner patron on Sugarcreek Amish Mysteries – Season 2! I am also in season 1. I recently was able to watch an episode. The fact that they allowed my, an obvious transwoman to do this is a real accomplishment. Believe me, not many of my people walking around this neck of the woods. The show itself is white milk wholesome. It was so cool to see places I have been on set, to see actors I have been around, in scenes with, just head-swelling to know, I did this.
Before my screen time, I stopped at a mall and did a bit of shopping, feeling every bit an attractive woman in this outfit. It was just a wonderful few hours just being… Then I reported to the set. We are instructed to bring 3-4 outfit options and despite my certainty that I nailed it with this outfit, I did not. I did not realize white creates lighting issues, so I was asked to change on what was a stiflingly hot and humid day.
Then I met Mimi. She is simply one of the most amazing human beings I have ever known. We were scene partners and almost immediately became sisters. We basically talked and shared about ourselves for hours, continuing at a local sports bar afterward. I won’t go into too much here, but she is retired military. As girly as I am, she is the exact opposite. In high school she survived Hodgkin’s Disease, recently also having breast cancer, which also caused a need for lung surgery. And oh yeah, her 30+ year husband currently has a brain tumor. All this and she is an amazingly creative and hopeful person. We discussed at length a screenplay she is working on for a short film. And she told me I am brave. Me? Not at all, she is! Anyway, you never know where a day will take you. This day, I will never forget! And I definitely got some screen time!
Postscript: A few days later, Mimi reached out and would be near me. She lives in the Toledo area, I live on the Southeast side of Cleveland, about two hours apart. Now understand, I make friendships like this over and over again and they eventually fizzle out or never even move forward. I have talked about this here at length. Also, a day after I met this amazing human being, I found out a lifelong friend has cancer. I have had way more life experiences with this person than with my family members (my “birth” family, not my current family). Gut punch, gut punch. Kinda of had me reeling a bit. We all know family, acquaintances, etc. that have health problems. But a friend, that you have known for well over 50 years, with whom you facilitated his rock-solid marriage of 40+ years, with whom you have gotten absolutely shit faced with, we’ve all been there, it BLOWS!
She had to have a few different scans to make sure her health continued to improve. Sadly, she did have to take a few phone calls to arrange for certain procedures for her husband, whose brain tumor continues to grow. Caregivers are the angels amongst us!
Mimi met me (not Kandi) as I had to work just before we got together. If I could be happier to know someone else, I am not sure that is possible. We had a few (okay me, she had one) beers, fabulous burgers at the Dirty Donkey (what a place!) and simply connected on a level I did not know was possible. Our connection is impossible to articulate. You will hear more about us in days and weeks and (I pray), years to come.
Love the one you’re with…you!
Love forever, love is free
Let’s turn forever, you and me
Windmill, windmill for the land
Is everybody in?
Originally posted May 23, 2026.
“It’s true. Before I started going out, I literally had zero friends. I had work friends and guys who I hung out with occasionally. But, as a 40 something closeted crossdresser, whenever I had free time I preferred to be at home doing my thing. It was a very lonely existence. The funny thing is that I didn’t even realize how lonely I was until I saw what it was like on the other side.
Today happens to be 9th anniversary of the first time I went out in public. It was the best thing I ever did, not so much for the freedom and exhilaration, although that part is really great too. It was the best thing, because now I have friends and am part of a vibrant and welcoming community. The community was always there, waiting for me. I just needed to allow myself to be welcomed by them.
About the pics. Those are from this past Thursday at Rori’s T-Party, which happens the 3rd Thursday of every month. The woman next to me in the second panel is Anahi, the new MUA at Rori’s shop. She does incredible work, so if you’re looking for a makeover, I highly recommend contacting her.
All the pics were taken by Sara, the official unofficial photographer for the T-Party. You can find a ton of her pictures on Flickr – just search for “Transformations”. Transformations is the name of Rori’s shop in Arlington Heights (IL).”
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4 Responses
Kandi,
No matter how bad we feel especially on a bad day there are people out there who would still make our lives look perfect . Over the last eight years as Teresa I’m amazed at the number of people who have stared death in the face mainly through cancer . I know a good friend in my art group is terminal all I can do is be there for her , try and make her days a little special .
Bravery is an odd word , I don’t consider myself brave , I just made certain decisions which I committed myself to , my life is OK now so I spend my time trying to make other people’s lives happier and more liveable . Being transgender turns out to be a big bonus , on the whole a woman can make a bigger difference and contribute more than men can , perhaps you could call it a male barrier , in many circumstances women are trusted more than men .
I’m sure you’ve found that Kandi can open more doors than the guy .
Yes, that is completely true Teresa!
Kandi, it’s too bad that skirt didn’t look right for the scene, it’s amazing with those boots. I am envious of your ability to make friends (even those that are fleeting) in any situation. I feel more comfortable going out solo with natural interactions that are shorter.
It’s great to see Julie back on this site, as I (Tina) do not use FB (male me does, so I avoid any connections!). Having met her a few years ago, I was sad that she seemed to drop out of all the other online forums. I’m glad that she has found such a vibrant community and friendships.
Tina, please click the link with every one of Julie’s platforms, there is much more than just Facebook there. We all go through some type of process and she did as well.
Regarding that skirt, it would not have mattered as I was in a booth and you would have only seen the blouse anyway. At least the outfit go out in public, always a good thing!
Appreciate you always!