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It’s Hopeless

Am I wasting my time?

Why do I continue beating my head against a wall? I recently ran the following personal ad on a web site I have referenced in the past (local arts community), well over a month ago:

Every Organization Needs Good People, Right?

How does a male currently languishing in the logistics industry reinvent herself as a female in the arts or nonprofit community?  If I knew the answer to that question, I would do so!  Instead, I turn to anyone out there that might be able to help or point me in the right direction. 

Could your organization use someone vibrant and energetic, who has a depth of business and life experiences?  Can you use someone who brings an extensive education and a long and demonstrated ability to get the job done in various industries? 

I am a unique personality who works well with both co-workers and patrons, brings diversity to your workplace and to your mission.  I am a mature, highly dependable and responsible woman who simply gets the job done, whatever that job or task might be. 

I am seeking to make a career shift into a more creative and fulfilling opportunity and bring all the skills and talents you need!  I am a transgendered woman who has worked extensively in the finance industry, currently in logistics and has given hours to many arts and charitable organizations, including our world class art museums, many area community theaters and numerous charities.  Significant references are available. 

As we reemerge from the pandemic, I want to do something that will make a difference!  I have done that within my community through my daily blog that has achieved a worldwide reach and been an inspiration for many who live with the same gender issues as I have. 

Give me a shot or at least a call!  Make a suggestion or refer me to someone who could use the help.  You would be surprised how someone with my skills and experiences can make your task or organization that much better. 

Kandi Robbins 

I received two rather kind responses.

Great Personal Ad

Hi…I don’t  have a job to offer you… wish I did but you sound like a fabulous gal. Hope the ad has the desired result and you find a dream of a job.


Hi Kandi,
Great and heartfelt appeal! I wish I knew someone that could use your skills and talents, but alas I’m just a mom of a MT kid and all of my theatre friends are struggling. All the best to you in your future endeavors! You’re very brave and a true inspiration!

Remarkably kind and sweet gestures, both. But beyond that………[crickets chirping].

So we learn two lessons here. As I have said time and again, people are incredibly kind and accepting. This gives me hope for the future.

However, I need to face reality and accept that nothing will come of all of this. Life is sometimes a bitter pill and I guess we simply need to accept the hand we have been dealt. It’s not that I expected people to line up for me, but I was hoping for something, anything. Even a simple conversation and/or brainstorming session. One connection, anything, instead…….nothing.

Look I understand I can take off the dress and find something, anything if necessary. Someone living this 24/7 doesn’t have that option and those people have my deepest admiration. What courage!


12 Responses

  1. Kandi,
    Have some patience. The arts community will come back but it will take a while. When it does, put yourself out there again. You do not need to be out front with your gender and your presentation when you look for a position. If you want to be up front about it (and I understand why), you can choose to do it prior to any interview or prior to taking the job. You want this to be about you and your talents and not about you dressing with one or two “pant” legs.

    1. Thank you Leann! I won’t give up. Being elderly (with personal baggage), I am not the best at knowing the best way of going about this as my resume and what I would like to do are not aligned. But we keep moving forward.

  2. Ugh, in the deepest and most resigned sense of that expression. Ugh. I feel your exasperation. To be repeatedly confronted with a condition that seemingly could so easily be different, and better, and would not, again, seemingly, require much on the part of the world, is …..well, a challenge. Dig deep, and continue to find ways to enjoy life. So many aspects of the human world are just plain awful and it sure does not look as if that will change until we become Vulcans! I too wish I could do things that are just not going to happen due to the nature of the human world. Such is life and those of us who are able to find a satisfying work-around are fortunate, as you note. Onward!

    1. So happy to hear from you my friend!! Just because I am stating the obvious, I still keep trying to find a way. I long ago had to accept that my life, my livelihood, would always be a challenge. I keep going…..

      I’ve missed you!

  3. I am not a fan of posting ads for jobs, as my experience is that they rarely work. What works best is tried and true: networking. Ask your referral sources to let you know if they hear of an opening, and don’t do it once, do it over and over again because even people who support you need a reminder when something becomes available. And never give up; jobs are obtained by those who persevere in seeking them. I know you know all of this already, but always good to say it out loud.

    1. Lisa, that “ad” was on a networking site for the arts community. All of my volunteering (which was significant, pre-COVID) was in an attempt to network.

      Believe me, no one networks more than me and no one gets ignored more than me. But I keep trying. Love you my dear!!

  4. I’m just gonna reiterate what others have said. No need to explain your entire life upfront. There will be a time for that, probably during/after the interview. If it’s in the arts industry, it might not even need to be discussed at all. And yes, it’s all about networking. Reach out to the people you already know in the industry, drop an email, as well as anyone else you know, you’d be surprised who random people know. For the people you know in the industry, try to get an information interview. This is basically a phone call where officially you’re gathering information about the organization, but your really looking for guidance and maybe the initiation of a mentor – people actually enjoy / get a lot of reward out of being a mentor. Also, does Kandi have a linkedin page? In this day and age, any job that requires experience requires a linkedin resume. On your linkedin page you can as the people you volunteered for in the past to post a short recommendation (I think it’s called something other than a recommendation). Again, on the linkedin page, you don’t need to discuss anything personal, just prior work and volunteer experience. Finally, please try to remember that you’re not the first person who has tried to reinvent themselves. It takes time, but I’ve seen plenty of people on Facebook go through it and find success.

    1. Thank you dear! I appreciate everyone’s input and will certainly try some of it, but believe me, I have been networking for years now. The pandemic has basically killed all my efforts there, but I do keep trying. Unlike many, I have two issues to overcome and my wearing a dress is the least of them. The support I get here is amazing!

  5. Here’s my 2 cents worth. Bear in mind that I am a social media Luddite, and darned reluctant to create any more of a presence than I already have. But, I decided to pursue some sort of part-time or side gig, I went the route of using an online job search service – Indeed. (Take your pick).

    They have job announcements for full-time, part time, and contract work that pretty much covers the range of endeavors, and the nation. Even international opportunities showed up. I put in my search criteria and Indeed spit out a steady stream of job opportunities. I responded selectively to the offerings, and I got numerous interviews. If the job application asked for Gender, I responded honestly.

    As it turned out, I ended up being approached by a local non-profit to take on a full-time role in program development. After much internal debate, I opted to work in drab… I let my fears win out. But, on a positive note, I have joined a very inclusive organization and should the time come, I feel confident that I can re-emerge as a transwoman without adverse repercussions.

    So, my point is that you may want to use the online job search option as Kandi. (I was lucky enough to have the given name Kim, so I’m always presumed to be female, regardless of what I list as my gender.)

    1. Kim, thank you for the comments and thoughts, but you do not carry the baggage that I do (which has nothing to do with gender). It truly is hopeless for me, but I do have a job, we do pay the bills and I have moved on from that idea. Life is always full of challenges. Anything online will immediately screen me out, so I have to do it the old school way, networking. Thank you dear!!

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