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Everyone Should Have a Place Like This

A microcosm of life, a very bittersweet day.

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January 22, 2023 was a bittersweet day. Betty Jacobs is a friend and an inspiration. She founded LGBTQ+ Allies Lake County, a wonderful nonprofit and an amazing feat. She did this in a very conservative county. She was raising a family with her wonderful partner, Daphne. This is Betty and I from a few years back.

On the day prior, Betty lost Daphne, the love of her life. She was asthmatic and had an episode, and she literally died in front of Betty and their children. My heart bleeds for them. It’s bad enough for this to happen, but to have done so in front of the children….. I wish I was smart enough to know what to say.

I had planned to attend services at my church, so I did so with a heavy heart. My feelings are irrelevant in the context of this tragedy, but it was doubly nice to walk around collecting hugs from my fellow members of the congregation.

I was dressed early as I had to get out of the bathroom to allow my wonderful wife to get ready for work. To kill time, I went to a Burlington and casually browsed clearance items. A lovely young lady was marking items down near me. I spotted a few things of interest and she scanned them to let me know which ones were getting a further markdown. She was also very sweet, complimenting me on my outfit!

Two great blazers and a matching skirt later, I headed to church.

It was a hug fest. I am always noticed when I am there. I am always welcomed. I am always hugged, often. It was just a great hour or so of filling my soul. I wish I was articulate enough to describe the feeling of being in that church. I am generally not that introspective, but when I am in there, I can feel my presence making a difference. And I can feel something greater than me. That is an amazing feeling!

My bow was noticed and complimented as well!

Betty, you make a difference. You are loved. You are amazing! Daphne is looking down on you from Heaven and will always be in our hearts.


5 Responses

  1. Kandi, my condolences on the loss of your friend Daphne. Being there for Betty and her family was very meaningful, showing respect for her while also being a visible member of the community she works so hard to support. Love the pink sweater!

  2. Kandi,

    A heart-filled post. I can’t imagine what Betty is going through, but she is certainly blessed to have a friend like you (as are all of us).


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