I peruse many of the CD web sites (at least I used to), always looking to learn, feel connected. A common theme I run across is the wish that society were more accepting or “gee, I wish it were possible for me to go out”. The absolute truth of the matter is that we are our own worst enemy. Now please bear in mind, personal circumstances are always a factor. An unapproving spouse or not wanting the children to know, certainly valid impediments to getting out. So allow me to set those aside as we all have issues in our lives that constrict us from doing many things we might wish to do. I’d go to a concert every day of my life, however, responsibilities, my relationship with my wife and financial resources preclude me from doing this.
I have been out, in public, fooling no one, over 125 times last year alone. Yes, I do photograph well, so you may get the impression I “pass”. I do not. We have discussed this ad nauseum. Photography is misleading. Poses allow illusion. A still photo does not show movement, which differs greatly between men and women. You can tell from the pictures I post, I look much better from a distance than close up. My chin is a minefield, my eyes underlined by the bags hard earned by life’s trials and tribulations.
I am tall for a woman, especially in heels. I am reminded of that when working with many of the ladies at my volunteer gigs, lording over them like Godzilla. I am generally in a squat position when receiving hugs.
I’ve been to restaurants, museums, stores, malls, casinos, concerts, parks, Walmarts, grocery stores, ladies rooms, bridal salons, public events, churches, theaters, flea markets, movies, charity events, fundraisers, parties and on and on. I have been in movies and walked runways. No one gave me a free pass. I do so smartly, appropriately and highly confidently. I am not special or gifted. I struggled mightily with this all for almost 50 years. I do not say this casually. I was able to flip self-hate to joy, glee.
I too had these thoughts and feelings, but I finally took control of this part of my life. It’s funny how age, experience, change your life view. I went out, not to CD friendly restaurants, but to restaurants. Not to CD friendly stores, but to stores. You get the point. As long as you are smart and vigilant, which the world now requires regardless of your attire, there are no excuses. In a world where our children cannot even go to school without fear (when they actually go to school), what do we really have to be afraid of? Certainly no more than them. There are only excuses. Time and again we have heard from others who get out with no issues.
If you simply are not comfortable, then you should not go out. But don’t blame the world, it’s all in your head. People, not institutions, not organizations, not political parties, not religions, people, are very good, very accepting. Connect with people and be who God made you to be!