I wrote last week about my original bucket list–manicure, makeover, trying on dresses, and buying a wig dressed–and how I thrust Spaceship Dee into warp speed and accomplished a whole list of things I would have never thought possible. That list included the boxes I have ticked.
This week–and next–the boxes yet to tick–the list of things I’d like (probably more accurately, dream about) to do.
In our house, we rate movies on a scale of ten (well, we did when we actually went to movies in pre-pandemic times), with ten being a high score and one the dud score.
For my list, I’m going to give two scores, a desirability score (how much I’d like to do it) and a probability score (how likely it is to happen). These are MY scores; your mileage may vary.
Face it; if you are reading this, you have your own list (seeing lots of nodding heads all throughout the interwebs).
Here’s my list, in no particular order, but just in the order I jotted them down.
1. Attend a wedding
I can almost guarantee that every CD who attends a wedding sees at least one dress they would have loved to wear to the wedding, as opposed to the drab clothes they are actually wearing. It’s not only attending the wedding, it includes going shopping for THE dress to wear to the wedding, preferably with a girlfriend to help you chose.
But most of all, if you would be invited to a wedding as your femme self, it means the bride and groom WANT you at the wedding as your femme self.
Plus, dancing in a dress and heels would be tremendous.
Desirability: 8; Probability: 1 (very small population of friends to have this be possible)
2. Get my ears pierced
Pierced ears opens up a wide variety of cute earrings to wear, and ones that don’t pinch or fall off like clip-ons.
The downside is explaining for two months why you are wearing studs while the piercings heal.
Desirability: 5 (not that big of deal for me); Probability: 1 (see downside above)
3. Date night with a man
This is more a fantasy than a bucket list item. The idea of being asked out, getting dressed up, getting picked up, yada, yada, yada, is very appealing. Who doesn’t want to be wanted? A night out, dressed nicely, to a suitable location? Count me in.
The reality is I’m not into guys and I’m not attracted to them. I’m aware there are admirers (including possibly some readers here) who WOULD be interested, but I would have little interest in any post-date “activities”. I don’t know any admirers. I’m also aware I could hire an escort, but I’m not sure how that would change the mental dynamic for me.
Plus it would be a hard sell to my better half, or I would need to cover my tracks really well.
Desirability: 7; Probability: .001 (can’t ever see this happening)
4. Dressing full-time seven days in a row
As I wrote last week, I have spent at least part of a day dressed for seven days in a row. This would be full time for a week.
Day one would be a salon day (get ready, Michelle): manicure, pedicure, waxing, more waxing (brows, and tinting brows, nose, ears, etc, but no bikini waxes). I love getting my fingernails done, and I’m sad when I have to remove the polish. Plus having painted fingernails–or getting acrylic or gel nails, a step up–means you are “pot committed” to dressing full time until the polish or nails comes off.
The reality is that it’s a lot harder being a pretend woman. Dressing as a woman takes at least an hour, versus about five minutes as a guy. You need a daily close shave. Makeup every day, maybe more than once a day. You have to figure out girl things to do for a week. You need a suitcase large enough for a week plus of outfits (plus the additional stuff you are going to buy).
The other reality is that all these “problems” are definitely worth it.
Desirability: 9; Probability: 7 (I have the free time and funds to make this happen)
5. Have a boudoir photoshoot
What’s more feminine than lingerie? What’s one of the first items that young CDs try on? What fun things to wear under your guy clothes to remind yourself what you’d like to be wearing?
The reality is a lot of CDs prefer clothes that hide our guy flaws (including the equipment that makes us guys). With lingerie, there is a lot less there to hide those flaws. What we see as sexy on a GG is not quite as sexy on one of us. There is also a ton of body hair to deal with, and suddenly showing up a lot less hairy may cause some uncomfortable conversations.
Nonetheless, I’m all in on this one (and there are services that can make this happen).
Desirability: 10; Probability: 9.75 (Michelle would probably enjoy this almost as much as I would, and she would lend me her frillys)
6. Going to church on Easter Sunday
This one popped into my head a while ago. Now I have the dress to wear!
Michelle is a regular church goer (Catholic) and she dresses very nicely to attend Easter Services. The last several years, she attended in a lovely Calvin Klein rose colored dress, one that she looked great in. As of last month, that rose colored dress is now mine, as Michelle gave it to me.
I am, to put it mildly, not a church goer. The last times I was in a church were either weddings or on my last European trip in 2019.
But the idea of putting on a beautiful dress and attending a Catholic service with Michelle (and her family) is irresistible, even though she would know EVERYONE, and she would proudly introduce me to EVERYONE, because that’s who she is and what she does.
Desirability: 9 (don’t ask me why, it just is); Probability: 7 (some logistics to work out, but Michelle is hard to say no to).
7. Publish a crossdressing story on a story website
I have always preferred the written to the visual. Back in the day, I preferred the letters in Penthouse over the centerfolds in Penthouse, especially the letters that dealt with crossdressing.
If you haven’t figured it out by now, I also enjoy writing. I guess I should have added to my boxes ticked post about writing–and posting pictures–regularly on a blog. However writing these blog posts was never on my bucket list–it just happened.
With tons of time spent running or biking, I have lots of time to mentally compose stories, most of them centered around crossdressing. I’ve had the basis for a story kicking around my head for at least five years, and I’ve even committed most of it to paper (which in 2021 is a Word document). But I find reasons not to finish it, or more accurately, lack motivation to finish it, and then take the steps to post it on the interwebs.
It’s not going to be the great American novel, and it’s a pretty basic crossdressing story–and most stories in the crossdressing categories tend to be more “exotic”, to put it mildly–but I’d like too see whether people like it or not.
Of course, the irony would be the same as these blog posts. I write these weekly, yet I can only tell a literal handful of people that I know–the handful that know Dee. I can’t tell the friends who know the guy me, “looky here what I wrote”. That’s not going to change any time soon. For the record, my wife doesn’t know I post here, much less publish my pictures–and she only knows about a handful of my outings, and none of the details.
It would be the same for any stories I publish; I could tell only a small minority of those who know me.
But hopefully there would be someone out there who read my story and liked it, and that would be good enough for me.
Desirability: 9; Probability: 9.99 (I believe I will eventually get it done,, procrastination notwithstanding).
Hope you enjoy my list. More next Sunday.
8 Responses
Dee, this is a well-thought-out list, the detail about each one is evidence of your desire. Here’s my take, using your scale, on these items:
1. Desirability: 8, Probability: .1 I don’t know enough people as Tina for this to be realistic.
2. Desirability: 7, Probability: 4 It’s been discussed but never acted upon.
3. Desirability: 0, Probability: 0 Not even as a fantasy.
4. Desirability: 9, Probability: .1 I’ve done 4 straight days although I didn’t go out each day, but there are no opportunities for this in my life right now.
5. Desirability: 4, Probability: .1 I have enough worries about how I look without stripping down to lingerie. I love lingerie but it’s just for me.
6. Desirability: 7, Probability: .1 I’d consider any church visit dressed, not just Easter. Again, no chance that it will happen any time soon.
7. I’ve actually done this, although it does fall into the more “exotic” category.
Hugs, Tina
I’m not sure I’ve got a bucket list but I did go on a 7 day cruise and was in girl mode the entire time
It was amazing and yes the prep was the tough part but I was welcomed on the ship even with male ID and such things
Now Admittedly for certain parts I was a bit more androgynous but I was mostly a girl.
I had two photo shoots from the ship folks and I’ve still got those pictures
I know that going full time would be a chore but for 7 days I loved it
Thanks ladies!
I hope my list (and the following items next week) stimulated some list making among others.
Dee,
I’ve never attended a wedding as Teresa but would love to , the problem now is I’m getting more into the realms of attending funerals which is going to be trickier with immediate family but we have had the conversation .
Never got round to having my ears pierced but don’t have problems with clippons , I just bend them a little if they hurt . I don’t wear earrings every day and treat them as something a little special .
Dating a man isn’t on my bucket list but a guy did pass me his phone number on a coach trip , it was harad to ignore it so I gave him mine hoping I wouldn’t hear anymore . A week later he rang to ask if I would join him for sunday lunch at a local pub , thankfully my excuse was genuine as I always visit my mum every other Sunday .
4) Is covered as I’m fulltime , the easy answer is I would much sooner spend an hour to remain Teresa , I nver see the prep as a chore because there is no alternative .
I was lucky being a self employed photographer so I could take any shots wearing what I chose , it was a lot of fun at the time but now it’s out of my system .
I’m not a great church goer but lets not forget I worked with churches and vicars for thirty years so I did see another side of that scene . My local church does hold various events , so I’ve attended organ recitals , seen St. John’s college , Cambrdge choir and enjoyed the Irish Guards band and as a bonus they stock a really good red wine during the intervals .
Like Rachel I will be going on a 12 day cruise in 2026 which I’m really looking forward to , I admit there a lot of mixed emotions but having already taken a holiday I know it’s doable and taking your advice I’ve bought a bigger case !!
Okay Dee I’ll play.
Here’s my scores to your list.
1. Attending a Wedding: Desirability: 9, Probability: -1
This is not realistic. But I have tried on a wedding dress and brides maid dresses. That was fun.
2. Get my ears pierced: Desirability: 9, Probability: 8.5
I came close a few years ago, but I would love to have pierced ears. I know this WILL happen.
3. Date night with a man: Desirability: 0, Probability: -1
4. Dressing full-time seven days in a row: Desirability: 9, Probability: 3
I’ve done many straight days although I didn’t go out.
5. Have a boudoir photoshoot: Desirability: 1, Probability: 0
If the occassion ever occurred, I would have no problem doing it, but I would have to get my chest waxed first (everything else is waxed regularly).
6. Going to church on Easter Sunday: Desirability: 1, Probability: -1
Not a church goer.
7. Publish a crossdressing story on a story website: Desirability: 4, Probability: 1
Not something I would do, I’m an author of non-fiction.
Ooooo, I love a game, can I play?!!
1. Attend a wedding. 7/1 – I completely get the whole thing about choosing an outfit, getting dressed up, dancing in heels etc. and I’m sure it would be a day to remember but highly unlikely to ever happen.
2. Ears pierced. 5/1 – the choice of clip ons is so limiting that I’d love the idea of being able to wear any that I like but not a priority and, again, highly unlikely to ever happen.
3. Date night. I’m going to maintain a dignified silence on this one for now as it’s given me a great idea for a post!
4. 7 day dressing binge. 10/5 – I very much doubt that I’ll ever get the opportunity for 7 straight days but I would settle for a shorter time and, providing the planets align, that’s eminently doable.
5. Boudoir photoshoot. 0/0 – I’ve given a desirability score of zero because I know what I look like with hardly any clothes on and it’d take a lot more than sexy lingerie to make that particular sight acceptable!
6. Going to church. 8/5 – I’m a non believer and normally restrict my churchgoing to weddings and funerals but there is something quite intriguing about the idea of putting my Sunday best on for an hour or two of contemplation.
7. Publish a story 5/30 – already done 30 times one of which – ‘The Letter’ has also seen the light of day here on Kandi’s Land
Dee,
What a fun list to read about again. My answers are simple:
1. I would love to attend a wedding, but can’t see that happening any time soon. I do have a number of unmarried friends who just might like me enough to invite me, so who knows? Using your rating system 9 desirability, 5 probability.
2. I am hoping to get my ears pierced this summer, but my daughter is having a baby and she comes first. As you say, making time for healing is the trick. Desirability 10, probability 8.
3. Date with a male. Desirability and probability 0.001. But I love getting dressed up and going out with my cisgender female friends—a great way to feel every bit the lady.
4. 7 days. Completed. I have been several weeks at a time living as myself 24/7 (I.e. as Lisa)
5. Boudoir shot. Completed. Part of a London photo shoot a number of years ago. Boudoir was one of 5 looks captured. I prefer the formal gown look but don’t think I looked too awful in very little clothing (although a great photographer covers up many flaws). Noone has seen them except the studio and me.
6. Church on Easter. Completed. Timing had to be perfect, because my wife had to work that day (and she never works on Easter). We went to a sunrise service and then I went to a different church in my Easter best. I was warmly welcomed.
7. Publish a story. Desirability and Probability 1. There was a time when I read them, but now spend my time on other types of reading (and writing).
Thanks again Dee for your list. I still have other things on my own “to-do” list for myself. These days I feel like I am crossdressing when I am “him,” so most things are really just new adventures, as we all need something to look forward to in our lives!
Lisa
Glad once again I stimulated some reaction. I’m sure everyone’s list is somewhat different.
As to number 3, I haven’t had a formal date with a man, but last March I did have my first time out one on one with a man when I went to a Bruce Springsteen concert with John, husband of my friend Renee. In advance of the concert, it was fun swapping texts with Renee about how she wanted me to be “dressed to the nines” for the concert. I think I was the only one in a dress, heels, and fishnet stockings at the show, but John was a great sport and my best “date” to date.
As to a wedding, no plans yet, but I’ll be attending a wedding with Ms. Dee-ism, and we are currently discussing a shopping trip to a thrift store that features formal dresses so Ms. Dee-ism CAN buy a dress for the wedding (and I will undoubtedly try on a couple myself).
Stop by for the rest of my list next Sun-Dee….