By Cristy Garcia
What is beauty? We could spend years trying to provide and objective and universal definition and will keep on failing because beauty is subjective. The standards of beauty vary from age to age, culture to culture and person to person. We talk about physical (exterior) beauty and inner beauty when referring to a person, but we must be aware that what is beautiful for some might not be for others. Granted that there are some standards from which we can try to measure beauty, we will never be able to find universal beauty in our material world.
In the online communities that we have built in all social networks, “beautiful” is an adjective that is commonly used and those who are considered beautiful take pride while those who think they are not are always pointing that out to others with some kind of shame. Does it really matter if I am beautiful or not? If it does matter, by which standards should we measure it?
As men trying to present as women, we are not pleased to look like a woman and pass for a woman. We want to look like and pass for, a beautiful woman! Once again, talking as a heterosexual CD, what is what I need? Do I need to wear women’s clothes, play the role of a woman and be perceived as one or is it all about being beautiful as a woman? As I have matured in my life and having cross-dressed since I have memory, beauty is not how I look but how I feel when I am Cristy. Beauty is enjoying the few opportunities I get to be her and even more beautiful if I can go places. As my dear friend, Nora Simone, pointed out to me recently, beauty is giving and caring about others and making others feel good about themselves.
Over the years I have gotten countless comments, on my photos, mentioning that I am beautiful or saying something like “I wish I looked as beautiful as you”. Even though I welcome such comments, the ones that I treasure the most are those who let me know if have been inspiring or helpful while sharing my feminine side and thoughts with likeminded people. I’d rather inspire with words and advice than with looks, sense of fashion or tricks of the trade. I’d rather motivate people to find beauty inside of them because when they do it will automatically reflect on the outside. Beauty comes from inner peace and when we are happy and at ease, we are the most beautiful we can be.
What I am trying to say is that we must put all our effort in feeling beautiful for ourselves and not looking beautiful to others. Stop worrying about what the other girls will say and focus on how you feel. If you ask me, I would rather be perceived as a very average looking woman who is happy in her own skin than as a gorgeous woman who is wearing so much padding, constraints and makeup that make me feel so uncomfortable that it reflects in my carefully made up face.
I never felt more liberated than when I decided to tone down my makeup and wear loose A-line dresses that do not require me to put on corsets or padding. At the same time, I never felt more naturally feminine! Maybe I do not look beautiful, but I certainly feel beautiful.
Do you dress to feel beautiful or to be beautiful?