By Jocelyn Johnson
As outings in public go, some of us travel in the “fast lane” and some of us travel in the “slow lane”. I definitely do the slow lane, and I am sure you can guess many of those who are in the fast lane. Neither lane is right or wrong, it is the individual’s preference or maybe their opportunity to travel.
I personally would like some fast lane time, but up until now, I have strictly been a slow lane gal.
I will relate three of my recent slow lane outings. Opportunities to get out have become more frequent since the pandemic is getting somewhat under control, and the home situation provides a few windows of time.
The first instance, in a long time, was a brief walk to a rural setting. I just needed to wear something simple and stroll around in female attire. It was great to carry a purse, wear makeup and feel girly.
The second time was to try a new summer denim shirt dress and my 3” Mary Jane block heels. I always wanted a longer skirt or dress to look casual but to also be showing some leg. That day I did the walk along main street with a stop at the post office and also the bank. I did my business and greeted passerby’s with a hello and a smile. I finished the outing with a short trip to the nearby mall.
Because of COVID I have been unable to get my hair cut since before Christmas. I try to keep the sides trimmed, but while wearing my brown wig the natural grey hair shows out the side. So I decided to go natural grey (no wig) for the third adventure. My hair styling was parted down the middle and bangs over the forehead.
I was to meet my friend Alison at a park by the bay and have a chat and walk. We had not seen each other face-to-face since September. I warned Alison that my look will have changed and also the shorter grey hair on the sides will allow me to wear earrings (something I had never done before).
I wore my denim dress and ballerina flats, while Alison wore jeans, a nice turtleneck top and a beautiful white jacket. We had a wonderful walk and talk by the water. We spent some time on a park bench talking and watching the chipmunks scurrying. An elderly gentleman (probably our age, lol) approached and asked if there was room on the bench for three! Being a normal sized park bench it would have been crowded and we were trying to stay COVID physically distance. We let the man have the bench and Alison and I continued our walk. I am saying that this was my first attempted pickup; I was flattered. Or maybe it was Alison where his interests lay.
I did not take a picture of Alison and me that day. With no wig I looked very similar to my male self. But Alison did tell me I was lucky to have such thick and luxuriant hair (God given).
It was wonderful being with a friend just walking and talking; and the many people we met along the way were happy to say hi.
Ah, the slow lane, not so bad.
Jocelyn
13 Responses
Lovely pics. I wear my own hair when I go out as Terri. I recently bought my first wig in 20 yrs. I love going to my hairdresser and chat away as she does her wonders. I am so happy things are getting back to normal.
Terri
Thanks Terri. There is something liberating about being out with my natural hair. But, I just don’t feel my girly self without my long brown hair.
Post pandemic outings are great.
Jocelyn
Jocelyn,
I have to accept I will always need a wig , the one problem is getting my hair cut . Every 4-6 weeks I pop into a unisex hairdresser as Teresa , with my wig stand in a carrier bag I slip off my wig she does the trim and back goes the wig , she’s one of the few people that gets to see that male part of me . She’s Lithuanian and had a tough life so we do have some deep conversations sometimes , she’s now a good friend .
Slow lane or fast lane does it really matter ? I don’t really see it that way , I stick to the same routine every morning so anything that happens in the day is always as Teresa . Being hit on is amusing , I’ve had both men and women take an interest but I doubt anything will come of it , I’m just happy to have trusted friends at my age .
Teresa,
Thank you for your thoughts.
Making friends with your hairdresser sounds great. Having someone who has seen you with and without your wig must be a different feeling.
Like you, I much prefer being seen while having a stylish hairdo.
I was very flattered by being “hit on”. It is affirming.
Jocelyn
Greetings from another ‘slow laner’ (currently parked up for a while!)!
Your post encapsulates everything I like about this place – spectacular though Kandi’s adventures are (and they definitely gave me some of the impetus I needed to step outside myself), they are way outside the comfort zone for most of us. As I’ve said before, it was posts like this one that showed me that going into the outside world without all of the bells and whistles was equally as fulfilling and a lot less scary. Ultimately, we do this for ourselves, not to prove anything to others, and it’s great that you can look back on so many outings with fond memories.
Amanda,
We all recognize that we each live different lives. And that is the way it should be.
You and I, and millions of other people, lead a more limited life with minimal outside adventures. Which is perfectly fine. I would prefer more outings, but I am happy with my current life.
Besides, I only have a couple of dresses and skirts, and the world would be very tired seeing me in the same clothes day after day.
My, and yours, slow lane is OK.
Jocelyn
Jocelyn
At times, I don’t really know what lane I’m in , lol. I went out for the 1st time in the 70s. My family has and will always be my 1st priority in my life. I have gone to a lot of different events over the years. The best thing was meeting others like myself and realizing I was not alone.
Terri,
Great to hear from you again.
We all need to do what we feel comfortable with. I really enjoy meeting others like myself, and exchanging communications.
Be safe.
Jocelyn
Jocelyn,
I loved your post. I have had sooo much fun with my natural hair. I am lucky in that Inhave enough of it and I a hairdresser who gives me a terrific non-binary cut. I get a few comments when in guy mode but lots of compliments as Lisa on my hair. You can guess which I prefer!
Lisa
Jocelyn,
I loved your post. I have had sooo much fun with my natural hair. I am lucky in that I have enough of it and I have a hairdresser who gives me a terrific non-binary cut. I get a few comments when in guy mode on my hair but lots of compliments as Lisa on my hair. You can guess which I prefer!
Lisa
Lisa,
Thank you for reading my post and commenting.
My natural grey/white hair is thinning but acceptable. When I let it grow during COVID it got longish, but ultimately ended up looking like a very bad mullet. A good hairstylist might have made it look feminine, but I didn’t take that step.
I just felt uncomfortable without my wig. I then vowed never to go out again without my brown wig. I know, I’m pretty vain.
BTW your hair looks fabulous. Well done.
Love,
Jocelyn
Jocelyn,
Being follicly challenged, a wig is mandatory. I got a small blonde wig at a Goodwin in 2019 for under $3. And I found a brown medium length wig in one of my trees after Halloween 2005ish. However, I got two new blonde wigs just before Halloween this year. I have worn both in public several times. Who knew I was blonde?
Cali
Cali,
Getting the right wig is critical. It sounds like you have got a good one or two now.
Go prove that blondes do have more fun.
Thank you for commenting.
Jocelyn