I had an opportunity to get out recently, so I seized the moment. The day was to be nothing special, just some shopping and lunch.
For such an outing the modern woman would wear slacks/jeans, sweater and sneakers. The weather was cool/cold and windy. But I choose a skirt, sweater and low heeled ankle strap shoes.
My first stop was to be a midrange women’s clothing store, but upon arrival the store had closed down. So next door was the ubiquitous Walmart. I needed some stay-up stockings and panties. I enjoyed browsing around, and of course I noticed I was the only woman wearing a skirt.
I selected the TALL stockings and modest briefs (I am a mid 70s old lady). The cashier was pleasant (called me Dearie) and I was on my way. And as I walked to my car it became obvious that nobody cared about me. No stares in the store, no swivel heads in the parking lot. A trans person being fully visible, and the neighbourhood was fine.
Next, off to a mid scale restaurant for some wine, salad and soup. My waiter Ian was very kind and he kept calling me Love.
My final stop was the stationary store for a ream of paper. No special name for me from the cashier, sigh. Then back to my car. Nobody cared.
All day, and I was just another woman (albeit wearing a skirt) out shopping and eating. I guess being a trans person is no big deal. Or maybe everyone thought I was a regular woman; nah!
Love to all of you. Be visible and safe.
Jocelyn
10 Responses
Jocelyn, it looks like you had a great time and from what I know about the Walmart clientele, you were almost certainly the only regular looking person in the store!
And you’re right about nobody caring; these days, we’re old news so to speak and most people have far more important things to worry about in their own lives than being judgemental about others.
I love the outfit too – just the right balance between wearing something sufficiently feminine to enjoy the outing but not overdressed and conspicuous as a result.
Amanda,
Your insight about Walmart customers is spot on.
Thank you so much for your kind words. I agree about my outfit. It was a good balance between feminine looking and what was appropriate for the occasion and weather.
I believe I perfectly followed Kandi’s four “Rules of the Road”.
I had a wonderful time, and felt completely normal the whole day.
Jocelyn
Great post Jocelyn. I love going out shopping as Terri. I try to dress to blend. Very few of us ladies pass 100% of the time. I have been going out enfemme on and off since 1979 or 80. Needless to say the atmosphere for us was very different. Keep doing what your doing and enjoy life in this crazy world.
Thanks Terri, it was an enjoyable day.
I think blending is very important. So is visibility.
Take care.
Jocelyn
Jocelyn,
I recall the times when I felt I went out with little figure sitting on my shoulders , one telling me I look fine and no one cares because they see a female and the other telling me you’re just a guy in a dress and people are either avoiding me or being kind . For this reason I had good days and bad days , when I had a bad day I felt my ex-wife was getting her way yet again , trying me to drag me back to what she wanted . How can we resolve this dilemma ? The more we go out the better it should get but being full time the feeling had to be consistent . I had friends who were on hormones and had surgery and yet some doubts still remained for them , in fact their problems some times increased because even if they may have resolved gender issues they then stuggled to resolve their sexual preferences .
What do we really crave for when we step out the door ? I can only answer that personally by saying reocognition and acceptance as a female , to achieve that try and lose the guy completely , I accept that takes time , patience and a lot of practice . I consider myself lucky in having painting as a hobby because it’s something we can compete on an equal status , so I joined two groups , so I now share a common interest with almost 100 people ( mostly women ) . I also like local history so joined a National Trust group , that has also worked out well again , I now have shared interest with another 40 people . Not one person knows of my gender situation , I’m accepted for what they see , so the obvious next move was a formal name change as some documents I had to use and payments I had to make still had my male marker .
Jocelyn , I do feel you are on the right track , you consider clothes carefully for the right circumstances , you interact with people as a female , if you continue as you are the doubts will gradually fade away .
Some argue they can’t do without the guy mode but it is possible , I admit I had to prove that to myself but for me it had to happen .
Teresa,
I have no doubts.
I don’t want to do without the guy mode. My male/female balance is good.
FT would not be good.
Jocelyn
I always like reading about venturing outdoors. Except for Halloweens I do not feel comfortable mingling with the masses. Being six foot and 200 pounds is great for a guy, but as a woman my bulk probably attracts some scrutiny. The political climate these days seems to have emboldened the anti-trans crowd to come out of the woodwork. I have always been a risk vs reward sort of person. I am comfortable being an in-home dresser, although I would have loved to have found a small group of ladies to dine with. Maybe next time around I’ll be five foot five.
Stephanie,
Well, I’m over 6’3” and over 210# and I still go out. I know I stand out, but there are lots and lots of tall and heavy women.
As my post title says “Nobody Seems To Care”. So I go out and enjoy myself.
Be safe, but try to get out.
Jocelyn
Jocelyn, you look lovely in your outfit. I love that you have the confidence and comfort to do all those things as a woman. I think itis so liberating spending time out as a women. I have done three trips and spent all my time as Julie, two times checking into my hotel as Julie. I was nervous at first, but the front desk girl was very nice once I explained why my ID was for a man. My goal is three or four days as Julie this summer.
Julie,
Great to hear from you, and thank you very much for the compliment.
As you know, after a few outings, the comfort level and confidence comes easily.
I have twice spent four consecutive days expressing my feminine self. It seemed daunting at first, but quite natural and wonderful after the first day. I hope your opportunity happens soon.
Jocelyn