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Recent Experiences

Enjoy your Independence Day holiday!!

June 20, 2023 was my biopsy. Since it was surgery (no makeup, no jewelry, etc.), I could not go completely dressed as I do for every medical appointment or procedure, but I got close. Plus my wife was with me, so I wanted to respect that as she was a nervous wreck anyway.

After the procedure, a nurse took me back and offered to help me get dressed. Then she saw the hat I wore among my clothes and discovered we are fellow alumni! An immediate connection occurred and a conversation about our basketball team ensued, as she was involved with the woman’s basketball program during her time there a million years after I attended. I then immediately felt comfortable telling her I would get dressed by myself as I am trans and there are few things in my bag of clothing I would prefer to put on alone. She actually congratulated me and could not been sweeter!

Now a little inside baseball here. I now know when you have this procedure, you continue to bleed, front and back. I asked her for a pad, which she gave me and began to explain it when I said trust me, I know how they work! So on this day, I got a little taste of what women go through as I effectively had to deal with bleeding all day.

(As an aside, I use bladder pads frequently. To any novice reading this, there is a functional reason for wearing a pad beyond just wanted to emulate women. When wearing a pad, it does serve its purpose to protect against any leakage, but it also smooths that area out up front very nicely and comfortably. When I wear a tight skirt or dress, at least tight in that area, I wear one. In my opinion, wearing a skirt or dress and having a bulge there is grotesque. Unacceptable, inexcusable and damaging to images and impressions of us made by the general public. I say this because there is an easy solution. Use them girls!

While we are on the topic, I always carry a tampon in my purse. Why? One, it makes me feel just a bit more feminine. Two, if a sister needs one, I have her back! That could never happen, you say. Last Friday a great friend needed a little help and I had her back. Handed her a tampon and she could not have been more appreciative.)


June 21, 2023 I had volunteered to help with a big donor cocktail party for HRC donors.

Take a look at the photo on the left. This was my original outfit and how I planned to walk out the door. Then when putting a few things away, inspiration struck! Look how much better the whole outfit looks with the belt. It really defines the look and helps to create the illusion that I actually have hips.

No great story to tell. There were only about 30 people invited to this event and I actually knew most of them. I was basically included as a guest after a grueling hour of work helping folks find their way to the 39th floor. This was held on the very top floor of the Key Bank Tower, in the offices of a large legal firm.

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14 Responses

  1. Thanks for the openness on this Kandi! I’ve had that procedure several times, most unpleasant but so very necessary. For me, it revealed my prostate cancer which was taken care of immediately. I hope all went well for you.
    On a lighter note, I have not tried the bladder pad trick but it sounds like a good one. As for the belt, I discovered this a while ago and have had more than one outfit saved by the use of one. A piece of equipment we snake hipped ladies should never be without!

    1. I like to refer to myself as hip challenged! Thursday I get my results and will do whatever it takes. I hope everyone here doesn’t think I am whining or complaining, this blog is quite literally my diary or my journal. Almost anything on my mind goes down in a post at the time I am writing it. I have come to know so many that have had this problem and are still around to talk about it, so I am optimistic, just weary of always having to overcome. I am building my business now and finally getting some exciting traction and then this. I believe that is what is known as “life”. Love you Kris and everyone here!

  2. Super cute outfit Kandi, your style is always so spot on.
    Humm using a pad never really considered it.
    I do have a gaff and a butt pad that help smooth but maybe a pad would be better.
    I hope you get the news you hope for Thursday but if it’s not God has got this and you know I’m praying my friend

  3. I have many tops that I can wear with a skirt without being tucked into the skirt’s waistband. But if it has to be tucked, I always wear a belt, it looks much better. I like that skirt you’re wearing, pleated skirts are my favorite. And I like the way you look with long hair. I know it’s a pain in the butt to care for long wigs but sometimes the end result is worth all the trouble.

    Got my fingers and toes crossed for your test results.


  4. Your outfit looks great Kandi , as I have said before, you have great taste and I would gladly raid your wardrobe 😂 thanks for always being so open with us, we do appreciate it. Good tip about the pads , I’m sure we have all been there while wearing tight skirts or dresses and let’s face, who doesn’t want that pleasure , but the tell tale bulge is not great . My wife usually alerts me to the fact when trying on something tight! God bless her! Loving being able to say this on here without any fear . Much love to you all here in Kandis Land 🥰

  5. Kandi,
    I hope the surgical procedure gives you a negative result , so I have my fingers crossed for you .

    I’m so with you on the need to tuck certain items well out of sight , I do find it frustrating that certain styles are borderline not matter how much effort we make .
    As for the debate over tucking tops and blouses in or letting them flow , I prefer to tuck them in while I still have a waistline and there’s the problem , lose fitting items can hide an expanding waistline . My GG friend tells me it’s a crossdressing thing to tuck in but I disagree , it totally depends on the style of the clothes being worn . I have some smart trousers with waistband detail that needs to be seen for the right look . To me a baggy Tshirt makes most people look like a sack of potatoes .

    I admit I have a thing about wide belts they can dress up a very basic outfit and enhance the waistline but like most fashion trends they are not fashionable at the moment , I can’t remember the last time I saw a woman wearing an attractive belt . I also liked the use of a scarf as a waist sash or wrap belt , usually that’s kept for something thrown together when on holiday .

  6. Hi Kandi,
    I’ve had so many heeling vibes sent to me since my mishap it’s time to forward mine and theirs forward to you my dear friend. You ‘re my energizer bunny and I just know things on your end will be fine.


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