While coaching people, I’ve had this question repeatedly come up. My friend Savannah Hauk has a wonderful book that deep-dives into this issue and many similar ones.
I urge you to pick it up on Amazon, it’s called “Living With Crossdressing“.
Introducing the topic of crossdressing to your wife or girlfriend can be a sensitive conversation. It’s important to be honest, open, and understanding while discussing this aspect of your identity.
Here are some suggestions on how to broach the subject, as well as potential benefits both partners can enjoy:
Choose the right time and place:
Select a comfortable and private setting where you can have a focused and open conversation without distractions or interruptions.
Be honest and open:
Explain your feelings and desires regarding crossdressing, emphasizing that it is a part of who you are and not a reflection of your love or commitment to your partner. Share your experiences and how long you have been feeling this way.
Emphasize that it’s not a threat:
Assure your partner that your desire to crossdress does not mean you are questioning your gender identity, nor does it mean you are unhappy in the relationship or seeking someone else.
Offer reassurance and support:
Be prepared to answer any questions your partner may have and address any concerns they may express. Encourage open dialogue and let them know you are willing to listen and understand their feelings too.
Highlight potential benefits:
Emphasize the positive aspects of exploring this side of your identity together, such as:
a. Bonding experiences:
Dressing up together can be a fun and intimate way to connect on a deeper level, as well as an opportunity to experiment with different looks and styles.
b. Expanding social circles:
Embracing your crossdressing can lead to new friendships and connections with others who share similar interests, providing both partners with an expanded social network.
c. Increased empathy and understanding:
Sharing this aspect of your life can foster a deeper appreciation for each other’s feelings, experiences, and perspectives, strengthening your emotional connection.
d. Boosting self-confidence:
Supporting each other’s self-expression can help both partners feel more confident and comfortable in their own skin.
Take it slow:
If your partner is open to the idea, start gradually by incorporating small elements of crossdressing into your daily life or special occasions. This can help ease them into the idea and demonstrate your commitment to making the experience enjoyable for both parties.
Remember, the most important aspect of this conversation is to be open, honest, and understanding. It may take time for your partner to adjust to the idea, so be patient and give them the space they need to process their feelings.
WHAT IF SHE REJECTS THE IDEA?
If your partner rejects the idea of you crossdressing, it’s essential to respect their feelings and boundaries while also taking care of your own emotional well-being. Here are some steps to consider if your partner is not supportive:
Give them time and space:
Understand that your partner may need time to process the information and their emotions. Be patient and allow them the space to come to terms with it.
Keep the communication lines open:
Encourage open and honest discussions about the topic, addressing any concerns or questions your partner may have.
Offer reassurance that you still love and care for them, and emphasize that this aspect of your identity doesn’t change your commitment to the relationship.
If your partner is uncomfortable with you crossdressing around them, consider discussing possible compromises, such as crossdressing only when they are not present or limiting it to specific situations.
Explore support systems:
If your partner isn’t supportive, it’s important to have a network of friends, family, or support groups that understand and accept your crossdressing. Connecting with others who share similar experiences can provide emotional support and guidance.
Consider professional help:
If the issue continues to strain your relationship, seeking couples counseling or therapy can help both partners navigate their feelings and work towards understanding and acceptance.
Assess your priorities:
It’s crucial to reflect on your own needs and what you value most in your relationship. If crossdressing is an essential aspect of your identity and happiness, and your partner remains unsupportive, you may need to consider whether the relationship is truly fulfilling for both parties.
Remember, relationships are built on mutual understanding, trust, and respect. If your partner cannot accept this part of your identity, it’s important to have open conversations and work together to find a path forward that respects both partners’ needs and desires.
You can find my new books on Amazon by clicking the link on the home page here.