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Up In The Air

You know who, hanging with you know who, again! Love it!!

In mid-July my wife had a Monday evening tennis match and I had an itch to get out and meet Michelle. I had three new summer dresses from a trip to Nordstrom the Friday before, and I wanted to model them for Michelle and wear one of the three out. I also had my new wig I wanted to wear that Michelle had helped me buy, so that was another reason. She wasn’t working, and her kids were with their dad, so she was free and wanted to meet.

I suggested the 360 Bar in downtown St. Louis, a rooftop bar I had only been at once a few years before. The weather wasn’t too warm, the Cardinals weren’t playing (the bar overlooks the stadium, albeit in the distance), so I thought the bar wouldn’t be too crowded. Michelle was excited about going there.

I drove to her house to finish my dressing. I brought all three of my new dresses, and modeled each for Michelle. She liked all three. In turn, she was going to wear a sexy outfit she had bought when we went to the upscale thrift after we bought my new wig. I was going to wear my Red Keds, but Michelle suggested a couple of alternatives, although the heeled sandals she wanted me to wear didn’t fit. I ended up wearing a pair of her black sandals.

We parked near the bar and took a few pictures on the street, including the most famous St. Louis backdrop. It was a nice evening and a welcome break from the summer heat. 

The bar was more crowded than I expected but we found seats at the outdoor bar. Going out with Michelle is always a double edged sword. Being with a GG gives me more confidence about being out, but being with someone as freakin’ gorgeous as Michelle means that you get more attention because she gets noticed, which means in turn I get noticed. I have learned to live it. [Editorial comment: Suck it up, Nancy! ☺]

We ordered some food and drinks and used the backdrop to take some pictures. Michelle wanted some pictures too so I took some with her iPhone, and I showed her how to crop and edit them. The solo picture of her she posted to Facebook and Instagram; part of me wants to brag “I took that picture” but the sensible part of me says “not a good idea.” Dee has been on her Facebook page once, last Halloween. 

After about 45 minutes, it began to rain, so we were forced inside to a table. We stayed for about another hour, had another drink and snack, and before departing hit the ladies room, where the multiple mirrors meant another round of photos. We made it back to where we were parked before the real rains hit; over the next 18 hours St. Louis was hit with ten inches of rain, causing lots of local flooding. My suburb had eight inches of rain, and one of my neighbors endured a flood of about two feet to her basement from a nearby creek.

Two other stories to tell.

First, I stole the title from the George Clooney movie of the same name. Scenes from the movie were filmed in a building near the bar, a building I worked in during my working days.

Second, some times my worlds collide. 

Back in January, I met a guy (“B”) Michelle was dating. We were at Hooter’s, and he came and joined us. Michelle told me some details about him, such as their daughters playing for the same volleyball club. Michelle subsequently broke up with “B” and started dating someone else. 

Fast forward to mid May. I’m doing a coaching clinic, and working with a 6th grade girl, and she says she plays volleyball. I ask her if she knows “X” (Michelle’s daughter). She says she does. I then ask her why she’s here at the clinic. She answers her brother is on the team I coach.

I put two and two together and realize “B” is the dad of one of the freshman boys I’ve been coaching for the last two months. At the time, I confirmed my suspicions with Michelle. I begin to wonder whether “B” has made the connection between his son’s high school coach and Michelle’s friend Dee. From then to the end of the season, a couple of weeks, I see “B” a couple of more times, but I try not to interact with “B” too much to avoid him figuring the puzzle out.

While we are at the bar, Michelle tells me she had met with “B” the day before. I suggest to Michelle it’s probably best she downplay my friendship with Michelle, for somewhat obvious reasons. I told her not to lie, but just better not to mention me. For better or worse, Michelle doesn’t have much of a filter, and confesses to me she asked “B” a question about her son and tennis, and I came up. As it turns out, “B” had no idea the man he has been calling “coach” and Michelle’s friend Dee were one and the same. 

Driving home, Michelle is texting “B”, and through Michelle I just ask “B” to keep the news to himself. He seems like a good guy, and I hope he will, although I haven’t seen him since (as either a guy or girl), and I won’t likely until next spring. That might be an interesting conversation. I guess that’s “Up in the Air” too.

But as Michelle noted to me, we all worry about others making the connection between both sides of us, and as I said, “B” had no idea. 

And in the end, I’m not gonna worry about it. I am who I am.

My apologies to Dee for the delay in today’s post. I neglected to click AM instead of PM when originally I scheduled it.


6 Responses

  1. Dee,
    While we say it’s not a competition Michelle would be competition for many GGs . I go out regularly with GGs but not one that would catch the eye of others .

    1. She’s noticed wherever she goes by women, men, and everyone in between, she often knows people where we are going, and she is outgoing, all the things I am not. These are complications for me. It’s also nice that we are comparable heights so when we are both wearing heels we are similar heights. But this Nancy does suck it up because going out with Michelle explodes my comfort zones and I get to do things I never dreamed I could do.

  2. Dee,


    Did I read your story correctly? Did Michelle out your to someone without asking you first if that was OK? If so, it may be worth reminding her that for people who don’t transition, coming out is very personal, and should remain the right of the person who really owns the information —you! Maybe I misread how this transpired. I know M is great friend to you and I am not trying to but in where I have not been invited.


    1. Lisa,
      I’m sure Dee will correct you if it’s wrong but saying that this is the chance we take . If we don’t want to be outed the answer is totally in our hands we can’t expect others to tread on eggshells for our sake .

    2. Lisa,

      Sorry for the delay. I am currently traveling (boy me) and have been doing tourist things.

      Did Michelle “out” me? I looked up the definition, and technically yes, she disclosed personal information about me without my consent. I’m not sure exactly how it happened, because I wasn’t there and didn’t want to cross examine her as to the details, because at that point it didn’t matter, because it was done.

      In Michelle’s defense, to her I’m Dee, whether I’m presenting male or female. I’m sure she was talking to “B” and she just raised the subject without giving it a second thought, and then she couldn’t walk it back. So she told the truth and told me about it, and I’m good with that. She has no filter–trust me, it’s a discussion point between us–but I can’t complain because that’s how we met.

      Also, my wife and I hosted a large (150+ people) family and friends party, and I invited Michelle (she came with four others) even though she knew no one. There was only one other person (other than my wife) who knows about Dee (I disclosed to the wife of a friend as they have a non binary child) at the party. I’m a big boy, I knew the risks when I invited her (my wife knew she was coming, and Michelle walked right up to my wife at the party, gave my wife a hug, and introduced herself). If I was going to host a party for friends, I couldn’t exclude inviting Michelle, no matter the risk.

      I guess the short answer is I don’t live my life in fear that someone will find out my secret. Another way of looking at it is I don’t have to worry next year about whether a parent know or not, and there is definitely a benefit to that, so perhaps I owe Michelle a thank you?

      And as she said, “B” had no clue, which should be a lesson to all of us.

  3. People have such fear of being found out. In truth, most folks are too wrapped up in themselves to worry about others. Me included . Callous, possibly.
    I find it very comforting that 99.95% of the would doesn’t know I exist. Can you imagine the weight of being George Clooney?
    Having been an outlier all of my life, I just don’t care.
    I’m not brave. I’m pragmatic.
    Also old and decrepit.
    Dee be all you are and celebrate this.
    I thoroughly enjoy your posts.

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