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Swift-Dee For a Night

Editorial comment: The best of many great Dee posts, now back to our scheduled programming.

By our Dee-lightful Sun-Dee

With Taylor Swift performing in Melbourne, and my wife out for the night with a friend of hers, I decided to get sparkly–like all of the Swifties. The plan was to take the train downtown, then wander down to the concert area to see what was happening. After sampling the atmosphere, I would then hit the nearby Crown casino, because my sparkly attire wouldn’t be that much out of place at the casino.

As the saying goes, the best laid plans of mice and (wo)men often go awry. Mine did when my evening took an unexpected turn getting off the train at the main station. While waiting to ride the escalator up from the train platform, a woman named Sharna approached me and started talking to me. As I had my earbuds in my ears–listening to Taylor Swift music, of course–I first had to apologize and remove them. 

Sharna was wearing a cute black hat and had spent the day at the horse races. Given her speech, I suspected she may have enjoyed more than just the races at the races. She started asking questions, and if someone wants to engage with me, I am happy to do so. It’s my opportunity to help educate someone and create another ally for the Transgender community. I always tell people to ask what they want to ask and I will answer honestly. Quickly changing my plans, I said I would walk with her and answer all the questions she wanted.

We started walking in the direction of her apartment. She invited me to come with her to her apartment, and meet her 14 year old daughter, Keeley. They lived about two kilometers from the station, and I quickly agreed. 

Sharna asked me questions like “do you want to be a girl?” She insisted the answer was yes while I kept repeating the answer was no. I tried to explain about Transgenderism being a spectrum, and where I was on the spectrum–that I was a crossdresser, happy to be a boy most of the time, but that I like to “present female” from time to time.

We indeed went to her apartment, she invited me in, and I accepted. Sharna introduced me to Keeley, and their three dogs enthusiastically introduced themselves to me (which I really didn’t mind, except I was worried their paws might run my pantyhose). I eventually ended up posing with the princess of the three dogs.

I discovered that Keeley is studying opera at a fine arts school (she had to audition to get accepted to one of the thirty class slots at the school). After a fair amount of badgering from mum, Keeley agreed to sing a song from an Opera she had been in as part of a Children’s opera. With music from her phone to accompany her, she began to sing.

OMG she had a wonderful voice. Several weeks later, as I write this, I can still hear her voice, so developed at such a young age. I knew immediately why she had passed the audition to be accepted at the school. I thanked her and complimented her and encouraged her to work diligently to pursue her singing.

After about an hour, we went into their side yard (garden in Aussie speak), took a few pictures and some selfies of the three of us. I left for the casino, after an extended hug from Sharna, while she told me I was a good person. I told her thanks for making my night. I have her email and promised to send her the link to this post when it finally made the blog.

Along the way to the casino, I did what we Femulators (thanks Stana!) do–I  took pictures along the way. It was a nice night, and lots of people were out along the south bank of the Yarra River. I did notice one guy seemingly eyeing me, and he did approach me and asked a question about my night–and after my answer (“good”, in my normal male voice) he walked away and approached another woman. I am not sure EXACTLY what his agenda was, but after watching him a bit longer, I walked on and arrived at the casino.

I spent about an hour at the casino. No gambling this time. I’m not much of a gambler, and I prefer the isolation of machines (like video poker), as opposed to a live table of people (and not being sure of what their reaction will be). My alternative was to just get a snack of a coke and a vanilla slice at the casino Cafe, and take a few more pictures (of course).

I walked to the train to head home. I wanted to beat the concert crowds to the trains, so I didn’t want to leave too late. After a certain time at night the trains have limited runs, and to get to our suburb, you have to change trains at a station two stops before our normal station. Anticipating having to change, I had driven our car and parked at the station where you normally change trains.

I had my second surprise of the night. After exiting the train to walk to our car, while walking to the station exit, I saw my wife waiting to change trains. She had been on the same train, but in a different car (and the train was somewhat crowded, so I didn’t know she was on the same train). She spotted me and I spotted her, and I walked by her and told her I had the car.

She followed me at a distance. She hadn’t seen me dressed in a couple of years, and wasn’t happy to see me (I had texted her I was going out, so it wasn’t a complete surprise, and yes she knows I dress).  I drove her home, dropped her off, then drove around the corner to change back into boy mode. After about fifteen minutes of removing makeup and changing clothes, I drove home, somewhat expecting the worst when I got home. When I arrived, she was sitting outside our apartment on the landing; she had forgotten to take a key and was locked out of our apartment. I let her in and we didn’t discuss it much before going to sleep.

It was awkward, but she got over it the next day.

For some, on both sides of the marriage, it’s never really easy being a married crossdresser. She would prefer I not go out in public dressed, and she is afraid of the possible ramifications if people found out. I think her fears are greatly exaggerated, given the reaction of most people that I have met. Her best friend knows–my phone accidentally outed me (my wife doesn’t know the best friend knows)–and the best friend lets me know it doesn’t matter to her. For me, the best I can do is try to prove that being married to me is worth the cost of being married to a crossdresser. 

At the same time, I do the best I can to stay sane and stay married, and deal with the consequences when they happen.

Which includes being a Swift-Dee for a night, and having the unexpected pleasure of meeting someone you never thought you’d ever meet.


7 Responses

  1. Kan-Dee, thanks for the kind words.

    The only way you can find out about being out in the world is by being out in the world.

  2. A small postscript: always be prepared for the unexpected. I was visiting Sydney 20+ years ago and decided it would be the most welcome place for this girl to shave her legs, wear a short skirt and go shopping and then wear a bikini and sit at the pool. All that went swimmingly. As I was leaving the country there were extra security checks because of 9/11, and my bags were throughly checked by two brawny fellows, one of whom lifted out an unmentionable, turned to his neighbor and said, “looks like we have Priscilla here!” (Referring of course to Priscilla, Queen of the Desert). I needed thick skin. I just decided it was his problem being rude, not mine!

    1. There are multiple beaches in Sydney that would fit that bill, having seen a number of them in our 4+ years living there (before my time of going out, so I didn’t get the chance).

      Flying from Kauai to Oahu a couple of years ago my luggage had to go through a scanner, and it picked up my silicone forms (no way was I going to be in Hawaii and not at least try to have some bikini time). The agent, a woman, asked about it and I mumbled something about how they were forms and they sent things through.

      They don’t know you from Adam (or Eve), so whether rude or not, in the end it doesn’t matter. You can’t let other people’s opinions run your life.

  3. Dee,
    I totally understand the wife comment and the awkwardness that sometimes comes with what we do. My wife knows and has seen me many times but has not gone out with me. I just wish there was a consistent reaction to me doing what I do…


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