I recently reached out to a talent agency that specializes in representing transgender and non-binary talent. After some understandable fact finding on their part, I received the following response:
I just noticed on one of your sites, Kandi’s Land, and you refer to yourself as a crossdresser. We only represent out transgender and nonbinary talent. We do not represent cisgender actors whether they crossdress or not. Cisfemales are lucky because they have been able to crossdress for many decades. Cismales should be able to wear whatever they want too.
We are trying to change societies narrow thinking of all transwomen which is we are just male crossdressers or drag queens. We aren’t. They are cisgender males. We are transfemales. Huge difference. If you want to move forward in the industry, you’ll need to talk with mainstream managers and agents that represent cisgender people.Name Withheld
My initial reaction was how do I differ from a non-binary person? That’s splitting hairs, but really what is the difference (rhetorical question, I don’t want to open a can of worms here)?
No problem, but if you read anything on the blog (which I do not expect you to), I consider myself transgendered. Yes, I use crossdresser as a reference term to come up in searches of people like myself. And yes, that was how I originally identified myself. No longer. My blog is my journey to peace and happiness.
However, I made a vow to a wonderful woman over 35 years ago, so complete transition is not possible.
While I completely understand that is not who you represent, I have done some amazing things to changes the minds of thousands of people. I have done significant work to contribute to changing society’s narrow thinking.
There are many like me who are transgendered and cannot transition for one reason or another. That doesn’t make us any less female and it makes us something more than the label “crossdresser”. Everything I have listed and everything I have done I was accepted as a woman. I will be walking New York Fashion Week next month as a woman.
And I would never lump myself in with drag queens.
Thank you for being honest and getting back to me.
My search continues….Yours Truly
Our last correspondence:
OMG! This is awesome. I wish you would have explained a bit more in your first email. I did not have time to look up everything, so I inquire. When someone cannot transition, I refer to them as closeted transpeople. They are not able to be completely themselves for various reasons. I hope you are enjoying your journey. Sounds like your blog is your journal of that journey.Name Withheld
There was some more specific things discussed. I 100% understand not being interested due to the types of performers they represent (I am not a good fit there) and I 1,000% understand not being interested because I lack any real talent (they are a business, after all, and have to make a buck), but my not being trans enough? The responder back pedaled a bit, but the bottom line is they were not interested because I did not fit into a box, which is exactly the opposite of what trans and non-binary people are fighting against.
And this gets back to something I have come to understand. This big umbrella known as LGBTQIA+ is simply that, an umbrella. It is not a community. It is not supportive of each other. Yes, many, many individuals under that umbrella are communal and many are supportive, so please don’t pick nits with me. But overall, it is not a unified community. That is my personal, direct and significant experience. Your experience may be different and I hope that it is, but every time I dip my toes in this pool, I am reminded I am treated better by the larger, more mainstream, community. I never would have thought that when I started down this road.
The search continues…..