Close this search box.

No Longer Special, Just Right

Reflecting, thinking.....

Getting dressed no longer feels special to me. It simply feels right, how I should be dressed. A woman doesn’t necessarily feel special on any given day. I am sure they do when they dress for something special, but their daily clothing is just what they do, who they are, what they wear. I have reached that point.

On this day, I spent the entire day in this outfit. I was out of town. I was in meetings with peers. I went in and out of buildings. We enjoyed a Happy Hour. We went to dinner.

All day, just being me. There wasn’t any point in time where I thought, “wow, look at me”. I just did what needed to be done, said what needed to be said. I was addressed as a woman in all circumstances. By my peers (that is not a surprise), by new friends, by waitresses, by anyone I interacted with.

I guess the fact that dressing is no longer special is special in itself. Even when going about my day at home or around the house, when I put my lingerie on, I never really think about what it is that I am doing. I select a pair of panties, a matching bra if I am able to do that (I wear a bra in every possible circumstance, not all circumstances allow for that).

I am writing this post the day before I am heading to Erie for three Kandi days with other girls, many of which are friends. I spent the day working, arranging meetings whenever possible as Kandi. I am actively working to create a revenue situation where being Kandi is a main component.

This is just a candid photograph (one of a series of photos) of a woman returning from the ladies’ room to her meeting. It’s not staged, it’s real. It’s me! THAT IS ME! I have kept my nose to the grindstone, no one has cut me any slack, no one has gifted me anything. I carry the weight of past mistakes and of who and what I am and I have persevered. And I hope and pray that my faith in myself, in this world, in karma, in whatever you believe, will reward me. 2023 is going to be huge for me. It will free me or it will crush me, put me back in my cosmic place.

I believe a year from now I will be spinning a tale of success, of the success of a flawed human being overcoming our worthless government (doesn’t matter who’s in charge, they all suck, both sides of the aisle) and being the woman God meant her to be.

Wish me luck!

It’s funny. I can look back and see that for five years I have written meaningful essays at or around Thanksgiving (this was written one week prior). Time to think, time to write, time to be thankful.


I am proud to have been named Chief Inclusion Officer on the Board of Directors for 88 Unity Street Foundation! I will also be on the Leadership Team for 2023 Ohio Fashion Week as the Inclusive Talent Director!

Through our new Confident U venture, which you will hear more about soon, we will be offering an actual model experience at OHFW! A high quality photo shoot, the preshow model experience with HMU, walk rehearsal and the opportunity to walk the runway at our annual show, the walk will be hosted by yours truly!

2023 will be an exciting year here in Kandi’s Land as we take the necessary steps to be the premier experience for those of us who long to be the women we are inside, but simply cannot for whatever life circumstance. There are many wonderful blogs and websites out there, but ours is special. We have a niche and we live that niche. We are out in the world, experiencing the truth and sharing it here.

Check out the new video in the upper right hand corner of the blog!


14 Responses

  1. Congratulations Kandi.
    You have obtained new and exciting opportunities that will make full use of your talents and skills.
    Well done.

  2. Your very reinforcing essay is encouraging and true! It seems I feel most authentically Eloise, as I was meant to be, when I choose one outfit and stay dressed the entire day, rather than rummaging through a private fashion show.
    You chose a wonderfully attractive and versatile combination from your comfy pumps (well, are they?) to your appropriately lovely hairstyle. And, you must have the best-fitting undergarments. Finding the quality bra and shapewear means I forget I’m wearing them, if they fit right, and they feel so natural throughout the day.
    Hopefully we ladies are becoming normalized more than marginalized in society. You deserve to be addressed as a woman experiencing her truth. Thank you for sharing.

  3. Kandi,
    A brief comment on our elected ones , they should never forget trans or not we still have the right to vote !

    As for the rest of your post I can only nod in total agreement , everyday or full time to me doesn’t mean its’ boring , the fact is we are just being US and feeling good about it whether we are dressed up to the nines or mowing the lawn .

  4. KANDI,

  5. Kandi, I love these photos of you and I love that “office outfit.” I love the length of that pencil skirt, slightly longer than knee but modest when one is sitting. That’s usually the type of pencil skirts I wear too. And yes like you, when I get dressed for the day, I don’t look at it as “special” in a way I used to, it is just me putting on my clothes as expected. I love how this process for myself has been “normalized” over time.

  6. Wow Kandi I love your attitude here as it reflects the positive vibe you have over your life and how it has evolved
    The feeling nothing special is me as well, my clothes are just my clothes. Now I’m defiantly more causal than you but that’s ok because that’s the beauty of being a women. We can be causal but still beautiful
    Inside and out as you are my friend.
    You look lovely in your outfit and my dear that wig color suits you so well.
    Looking forward to the new year and the ever evolving Kandis land and it’s CEO
    Love ya Rach

  7. Congratulations Kandi on all your accomplishments. 2023 I will be back in Cleveland, hanging out with you was so much fun. Live long and prosper my friend.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Recent Comments

  • Recent Comments

  • Featured Posts

    Get The Latest Updates

    Subscribe To Our Newsletter

    Sign up for the first look at Kandi’s outfits, blog posts, and product recommendations.

    Keep Reading

    More From Kandi