Holiday Blues

In the past few years, the holidays have not been my favorite time of the year. I have said here before, I do not do nothing very well. My job obligations are minimal during the last two weeks of the year so I have plenty of downtime. I fill that downtime going down rabbit holes which I would rather not do. I fill that downtime with alcohol, which I wish I didn’t do. And this year, the whole Facebook fiasco had me angry.

So on December 20, 2022, I accepted an invitation to a holiday party at an event venue which I have become friendly with. I was there recently (the sweater dress and the stained glass window photo) and had a ball. This time, while enjoyable, it was not very well attended and I knew really know one. So I took off after only an hour.

It was pretty early, around 5:30, I looked pretty good, so I decided to hit a terrific Happy Hour at a very high end Italian restaurant. I sat at a crowded bar and enjoyed my Manhattan and cavatelli. After some time, a young lady sat next to me and we struck up a conversation.

We probably talked for well over an hour. I invited her to our upcoming Very Sherry Christmas holiday party. She then opens up and tells me she tried to kill herself a week back, just before we parted company. I gave her a few hugs and said a few things, which I cannot remember now. I was taken aback quite a bit. Well that was just the kind of thing I needed to lift my case of the blues (not). I hope I helped in some capacity and we’ll see if she shows up for the party (she did not). All I really care about is that she is doing well and doesn’t try anything like that again.

You never know where the day will take you. One thing we agreed on before she dropped that little bit of news was that we both really enjoyed going out alone, sitting at a bar and meeting new people. I wasn’t in the best frame of mind afterwards and got involved in a text conversation with Sher and I was a total a-hole. I apologized to her the next day and will do so again here. I had a bad case of the holiday blues…….

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12 thoughts on “Holiday Blues”

  1. Kandi, you look amazing in the black and white dress and fabulous red coat. I totally understand the “holiday blues” feeling and hope that you have recovered to start the new year.

    1. Thanks Tina! I never do nothing very well and the holidays are full of nothing days and it is really a struggle for me. But I’m back to normal today because I got to work.

  2. My friend you are not alone with those holiday blues
    Ever since my divorce it seems to happen to me.
    It kinda creeps up on me too as I realize how alone I am around this time of year.
    I don’t go out as you do bars just are not my thing.
    I understand those who find those a way to go but it’s just not me.
    The new year is here let’s hope it’s all better going forward
    Rach

  3. Kandi you look stunning in that dress and coat. Very classy and professional looking.

    I’ve had the blues this time of year about 5 years ago just after my wife and I separated. Since then it has been pretty good until this holiday season. I had a family member die and a close cousin die near Thanksgiving. And the week before Thanskiving, we had to put my father on Hospice. Thankfully, he made it through the holidays but he could go at any time. I was so not into Christmas this year that I didnt even put a tree up.
    I really want to get away for a vacation (as Paula), but under the circumstance, I am afraid to get to far away. So ever moment I get, I try to get away from the blues by being Paula.

    1. Thank you dear for sharing that. You said something at the end there, getting away from the blues by being Paula. Please understand, I am not complaining, but the last two weeks of every year, Kandi is generally not available to me. That and all the inactivity feeds into my holiday blues. As I said the other day, I was out 133 times last year, so essentially I am addicted to being a woman and when that addiction is starved, there are repercussions.

      Awesome that you checked in Paula!

    1. I appreciate that Jen and I wrote that a few weeks back. Since I have this platform, I air out my feeling more than I normally would otherwise.

      You are a great friend!

  4. Kandi,
    That kind of experience really does shake you up . As I mentioned small horrible period was part of my life .
    My paiting class was always very friendly , the members really varied . One guy often chatted to me and then the penny dropped that I’d photgraphed his daughter’s wedding . I say him on the Wednesday the next week he didn’t show . In between someone had jumped off a motorway overpass and died , this was a few hundred yards from my home . As I drove into town the following week I stopped in my tracks because there on the parapet were flowers and a picture , Oh my god it was Hughie . It was an awful expereince explaining to the rest of the class why Hughie wouldn’t be showing up . A week or two later his widow called in to speek to us all to thank us for the support we had given her husband , she then left all his art books as a gift from him !

    When I feel I’m having bad day I always think of Hughie , and to think I nearly went down that same road , life is too precious , we must try not to have bad days but maybe not drown our sorrows too much ,

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