It's Saturday, it's Gwen, it's always thoughtful!

When I first started realizing my aspirations of feminization, I started in my home (apartment), trying on various articles of clothing, wigs, make-up until I felt “ready”.

I went to my front door and I was FROZEN WITH FEAR. 

What if someone recognized me?
What if I don’t “pass”?
What if I walk like a guy?
What if…
What if…
What if…

The anxiety was like a tidal wave that drown me in fear.

Then I realized…

The first step is the most important.

I let loose the good parts of my imagination which overwhelmed the anxiety and fear.

Imagining my life as it can be and using it to PULL ME TOWARDS IT, gave me hope and direction. PUSHING FROM my life experiences up until now is a far WEAKER way to do it than PULLING from a POWERFUL FUTURE DREAM.

Sometimes, it’s very easy for us to lose ourselves in this femme daydream yet overwhelmed with anxiety and fear.

However, I understood that living in a daydream (in my apartment), produced no results for me unless I took action to make it come true.


For this reason, when I want something, I take the initiative to take the very first step and get the ball rolling. To me, the first step is by far the most important step (and most difficult) because it sets the tone for my femme dreams.

If I take the first step toward my goal to be better as a female every time I dress, it doesn’t matter if I “pass”.  I’m just being the best me I can be.  Besides, aren’t most people just passing through?  So who cares what they think.

Going out of the front door with confidence, and with the right frame-of-mind, I can do this.

By understanding that I must incorporate my femme dreams with action, I’m able to set my plan of action before I take that first step.


My action plan of personal feminization ensures that I am being strategic in my approach, therefore maximizing my results.

If I were to simply dress and go to the front door without pre-framing things, the results I desire would be unattainable. I would have no direction and would likely have anxiety and fear repeatedly rule my world.

The first step, even baby steps, are vital to my feminization and results you can attain, so do everything your power to launch yourself with a sustainable momentum in order to achieve whatever level of feminization you desire.

Stop daydreaming about it and DO IT.   Take the first step.

Be Strong. 💪

Gwen Patrone


9 Responses

  1. That first step of going out can be frightening. I remember going out like it was yesterday and it was over 40 yrs ago. I went to a CD party that I heard about through Lee Brewster, at his store in NYC. I remember how anxious I was. But after meeting another CD and having a amazing conversation I realized that I was not alone. That night changed my life.

  2. There isn’t a tgirl or CD that wasn’t scared that first time out the door.
    I had a few false starts myself
    Sure I did a Halloween party as a French Maid but really going out into the wild was a whole new feeling.
    Once I did finally make it out and figured out nobody paid much attention I relaxed and owned it as they say.
    These days for me it’s like going out in male mode,
    It’s just natural now as I walk out with my purse and head out the door

  3. I’ve been going out for years. The first step, whether it’s out the front door, out of the car, into the mall still has a tinge of fear. I remember reading an article on a CD group’s website years ago that basically concluded “with the makeup, wig and outfit, someone may recognize you as a man in a dress but it’s highly unlikely they will recognize YOU in a dress.” Whenever I get that fear, I take a deep breath, reflect for a moment on that article … then close the door behind me. I’ve had a few false starts where I’m in the mall parking lot and just can’t pull the handle to open the door, but once out I’ve never regretted taking that first step.

    1. Claire, I have three words of advice (which you know, I’m sure): practice, practice, practice! Every time gets a bit easier until all inhabitations melt away and you really become you.

  4. I thought I was alone as well until I started to get out more. The pandemic didn’t help either. However, I ventured out wherever I could and conditioned myself to get used to being in femme mode


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Kandi's Recommendations

If you have been looking for an economical permanent hair removal solution, I cannot recommend this highly enough! It costs less than a single session at a laser hair removal place. It is almost completely painless and it actually works! I have been on an eight year quest for something like this!

Featured Posts

Get The Latest Updates

Subscribe To Our Newsletter

Sign up for the first look at Kandi’s outfits, blog posts, and product recommendations.

Keep Reading

More From Gwen Patrone