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Bittersweet Symphony

Goodbye...for now...
'Cause it's a bittersweet symphony, that's life
Tryna make ends meet, you're a slave to money then you die
I'll take you down the only road I've ever been down
You know the one that takes you to the places where all the veins meet, yeah

No change, I can change
I can change, I can change
But I'm here in my mold
I am here in my mold
But I'm a million different people
From one day to the next
I can't change my mold
No, no, no, no, no
(Have you ever been down?)

Songwriters: Keith Richards/Mick Jagger/Richard Ashcroft

Thank you to The Verve!

May 28, 2024, we said goodbye to my friend Jim. I had to work, so I attended the calling hours in my work clothes. I did wear my Boston Marathon jacket in his honor, since he is the sole reason that was even possible. As I stood in a very long line (in male mode), I chatted up the two ladies in front of me. Both worked with Jim’s wonderful wife, the head of Diversity and Inclusion for a local community college. As I choked up, I told the story of how I had a better chance of walking on the moon than running Boston except for Jim (won’t bore you all here with the long version). I then also told the story of how Jim could not finish a marathon a year or so back (pre-cancer diagnosis) so he Uber’d back (a favorite story of mine). We get up to the registration book and lo and behold, all Jim’s race and triathlon medals were on display with a sign to take one in his memory. I, of course, took the medal from the Uber-marathon. It now hangs on a decorative hook along side only one other finishers medal, Boston 2022. His memory card is also displayed with my other marathon bibs. God had given me many gifts, this is one of His better gifts…

I cried like a baby when I hugged Magda, his widow, and told her about how Jim was the ONLY human being I could talk to about EVERYTHING (she knows both versions of me). She asked if I took a medal and I quickly recanted the Uber story. As I left, I said goodbye to the ladies I was chatting with and one said, I feel like I need to hug you! I told them to talk to Magda about me, it is a story you would not expect. I guess both of me are very huggable….

The world is just a little less. My heart is a little more.


11 Responses

  1. Kandi,
    I cannot think of a single thing to say!

    All my Love,

    PS – Jim is a great name

  2. Kandi,
    I know Gwen often talks about inner strength but sometimes it takes an outside influence for that slice of inspiration to enable us to take the next step , Jim was your inspiration to run those marathons and indeed deal with other parts of your life .

    COVID left many of us without our inspirational souls , we hd to find our strength elsewhere and in doing so became inspiration to others just as you have proved . There is no shame in shedding a tear because in doing so we are sharing our emotions through them , after those tears often comes a smile and a hug . That’s one aspect of Teresa I enjoy so much , men often hide emotions but women can be honest with themselves and others , my support for others feels much more unconditional , I can say what I feel .

  3. Kandi, sadly there are too many Jims in this world – good people taken from us too soon. As I said last time, I have a ‘Jim’ in my life too and seeing him earlier this week was a stark reminder that he won’t be around for ever. In the end, all we can do is to draw inspiration from these people who live every day as if it will be their last in the full knowledge that sometime soon, it will be.

    RIP Jim

  4. Kandi,

    There is no easy way to grieve. But you have honored Jim’s memory. Because you have shared stories about him, we all have gotten to know him just a little. I am sure he would be pleased to know that!

    You are a great friend to all.


  5. Kandi,
    Losing a friend is hard. Losing a close friend is worst. It gets better with time, but there will always be a hole in your heart. But cherish in the good times you had together.

  6. Very sorry for the loss of your friend, Kandi. WA physical inspiration has now become a spiritual one.
    Take care

  7. I can absolutely relate to your loss Kandi. I lost my best friend to Parkinson’s. Then 3 years later I lost another very close friend to cancer and it weighed very heavy on as Jim’s has on you. But I hope there is some solace in knowing your girls here at Kandi’s land have you in our thoughts…..always.

    Love you girl,
    Trish ❤️

  8. Kandi, Jim sounds like a wonderful person. I hope your memories of him give your joy. I am so sorry for your lose of a dear friend.

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