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Being Accepted

A stream of consciousness post from the old place.

We will never be accepted! Not 100%, by everyone. Never, ever.

Am I talking about crossdressers or the transgendered? No, I am talking about individual human beings. Whoever you are, whatever you are, whatever you are wearing, you will not be accepted by 100% of the people you encounter. It could be because of the color of your skin, or your political affiliation, or the team you root for, or the school you went to, or your religion, or…..well, you get the point. No one is universally accepted, no one. Even Jesus was crucified and He walked on water!

So, where am I going with this? If you desire to get dressed and go out in public (it is certainly okay if you don’t), then waiting around to be accepted before doing so will never happen. Never.

Now, can you, did I, find a way to be in the mainstream? I am thinking of the mainstream in the context of the last part of that compound word, stream. If life, if the “public”, is a stream, I am fully a part of the flow. I am no different than anyone else and it is quite remarkable. I have spent numerous times over the years in a restaurant (not specifically “CD friendly”, just a restaurant) and/or bar, completely at ease in conversation with my fellow patrons. While I am sure I was mentioned or discussed afterward, I was treated so incredibly well, each and every time. And I have done so a lot!!

I find this fascinating since, I myself, have never really run into a “sister” in mainstream society. And if I did, I would have noticed and would have respected her privacy by not acknowledging that I had “read” her.

Current circumstances have impacted many opportunities for me to join the flow, but I always marvel at my art museum work. Yes, I completely acknowledge I am at a place where more accepting people congregate (me being “smart”). And I realize I am very nicely attired (me being “appropriate”). And of course, simply being the main greeter when patrons walk into the building (me being “confident” and of course, “visible”) makes a statement. But I am looked at, spoken to, smiled at, greeted, all as you would any woman. No one handed this opportunity to me. I sought it out and made it work and it makes me so happy!

Seek happiness, not acceptance. Complete acceptance does not exist. Never has, never will. For anyone.

Just a thought I had and wanted to share.


10 Responses

  1. Hi Kandi,
    This short post, “Being Accepted” has a simple and direct yet really powerful, profound even, quality that makes me feel so deeply good about the way we, in our chosen community, live.

    Yes to all you say! Your own story is phenomenal, amazing, and inspiring, but beyond your achievements in this realm, it gives real hope, and support to everyone who has doubts, fears, or hesitations. This post makes me want to get dressed right now and just head out to …..well somewhere….maybe just the grocery store! Keep writing about your take on the world and keep doing your fabulous things. Have a good spring weather Friday!

  2. The only one you truly have to be accepted by is yourself! Love the thought and you being you 😘

  3. Kandi ,
    The more cynical might say they only want your money but we know it’s not the whole story . Like you I have just been ME when sitting having a coffee ,shopping or whatever . I always consider the people who serve me in the stores , restaurants etc. given the chance they would have their story to tell , we never know what is going on in their lives and what they may be struggling with . Sometimes we hear people complain about the lack of respect or courtesy from them , I try and give them the benefit of the doubt , they have the problem not me and that may not be all about you or me . Perhaps we should stand back and consider it could be a whole lot worse , I’m not disabled in anyway , I have all my faculties , acceptance to those people takes on a whole different meaning . As you rightly say we all have problems with acceptance at some time or other , I guess it’s a basic human trait we are cautious with the unknown , how much of a threat is another person ?

  4. This is so spot on, acceptance will never be fully realized
    We are all human and we all have an opinion and we all have our own reasons for who or what we accept
    Once I started to go out regularly I just had it in my mind there will be folks see this tall tgirl and not like it but I was like I don’t care I’m just being me and you don’t have to accept me but if you got to know me you might forget what I’m wearing and realize it’s no big deal
    Great post Kandi

  5. Thank you so much for this and everything else you do Kandi. I need to catch up on kandi’s land. I haven’t been over here the past couple weeks. It is amazing how it helps me keep my perspective on life in order and understand myself better when I read simple sweet messages like this. Sometimes I think I’m going crazy and it’s so good for me to read things like this and realize I’m going to be just fine. It is so simple but profound for a girl like me. I was such a worry wort the few times I’ve gone out. No one’s had a problem with it but myself. Thank you, Kandi,
    Love Liz

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