Story Wars

April 17, 2025, it’s go time!

5 minutes to write. 60 seconds to wow the crowd. One winner at the end. 3 writing prompts on the night, open and welcome to all skill levels. At the start of each round, a prompt is drawn blind from the big-jar-of-prompts and then read aloud. Anyone who would like to create their story has 5 minutes to write, choreograph a dance, compose a song—however they want to express themself.

After the 5 minutes is up, creators go around and read/perform their story for the audience.

After the stories are finished, everyone (audience included) casts their votes!

Yep, I fancy myself as a writer and quick witted (I am both). But as we have seen, I suck at improv (I remain humorous, but not so much in a millisecond). I fancy myself as a writer, but the lack of anyone giving a shit and the fact that I write out into this here ether, means I am the as yet undiscovered talent. These “talents” of mine don’t amount to a hill of beans. You all know it, I know it.

Pony up girl! Let’s see what you got.

This is my in-the-moment journal, written as the night unfolded.

No editing after-the-fact (except for punctuation and spelling). 

Written as the event happened, written after a few, more than a few, cocktails. 

Remember the time constraints.  This shit ain’t easy.

This is just great!  There are so many people here anxious to write.  The vibe is awesome.  It is a warm evening, the patio at the Juke Box is packed.  I feel like I belong, not in a gender way, in a “my people” way.  I sit, my PC all geared up, ready to go.  Many write, like people used to, with a pen and a notebook.  But my handwriting would render me useless.  We’re sitting on the patio, in the “Ohio City” neighborhood of the CLE.  There must be at least 60 people here.  This is the third birthday of Story Wars, and they’re all here, to write or vote for me…the writers.  So, off we go!

Apparently, there is a fuckton of us (not my word, but a great one I will remember), 40 participants, 3 rounds, a prompt, minutes to write, microwave creativity.

Prompt 1: “Worst first date ever” 5 minutes to write

He was so into himself.  I took so much time to look so pretty.  I made sure everything worked.  My dress, fabulous!  I picked the right heels; my jewelry was just right.  Not too over the top, but I wanted him to think I was worth knowing.  He picked me up, we were going to a nearby restaurant.  Italian.  I love Italian.  I was so happy to do this.  Then all he did was talk about himself.  No mention of my dress, no mention of what I did to look great for him.  As he blathered on and on, all I could think about was that I do not deserve this.  I am truly special.  I am worthy of his attention, yet on and on about himself.  I could only think, girl, you are better than this!

I am so over my skis…  These people are very funny, amazingly creative, me, not so much. 

My reading was perfect though, we’ll see.  There are so many of us, there is no way the votes can mean anything.  There are so many of us, there is no way, with drinks all about, that there can be a real good vote.  But it’s all so fun!

Prompt 2: “You Just Found Out Your Sibling Owns a Cursed Object” 4 minutes to write

I knew it!  I told you there was something off, but I couldn’t put my finger on it.  Then I realized she bought that Virgin Mary statue.  After that, everything went wrong.  My marriage, gone.  Our sister had a miscarriage.  But once the election happened, I knew we were all fucked!  Damn, that statue!

I am driven now; these people are so talented.  They do this because it makes them happy.  I am awed.  I am by no means anywhere near them.  I now have a purpose.  Get better, reach deeper.  Open your mind.  You have a millisecond to take a path on a story and once your mind goes there, there is no time to do anything else.

Prompt 3: “The package that was delivered wasn’t as advertised” 3 minutes to write

I could not wait for the boudoir shoot.  I wanted that red teddy, with the thigh highs.  I put down $500 on the shoot and then it arrived!  I was so excited and then I ripped open the package to find Grandma panties and a flannel nightie, what?  Bezos!

I delivered the above fabulously!  Having just done something similar, it immediately rushed to my head.

I reiterate, these people are amazing, on so many levels.  This was another risk well taken!

Writing was rewarded, but presentation was everything, My writing was okay, I did what I could but ultimately was a newbie. 

I will be back!  This was me squared.

I won nada.  I cherished the experience.