By Crystal Joens
‘Tis the season! And for so many things! First for me it is the season to learn to truly trust my wife. Some background for first-time readers. After 50+ years of crossdressing in secret, I told my wife about 8 months ago. After days of long, excruciating discussions, she is supportive. The key issue was trust, which I had betrayed for so long. That is important to this story. Second fact: my nail stylist, which sounds better than pedicurist, also knows because after an out-of-town trip with a makeover, she spotted remnants of gel on my toesies. So, I admitted it to her, and she has become a true friend and supporter.
Back to the recent trust issue. Recently my wife was away on a trip that had specific emotional weight to it. I will leave it at that. In addition, again without getting specific, she has been under a great deal of stress, including some health issues prior to that trip. I had been on that trip with her but returned home alone for a few days.
I have had several professional makeovers, over the years, but always when I was traveling, never in town or at home. As I returned alone, it occurred to me to ask my supportive nail stylist if she knew of a talented, available and discreet M-T-F makeup artist. She did and connected us. While enroute home, during a flight layover, we connected and establish a preliminary trusting agreement.
Here’s the first mistake. I assumed that with all the pressure she was under, she would not want me to tell her about the session, adding to her load. My plan was to excitedly tell her upon return. My second mistake was forgetting that our front doorbell has a camera that alerts us on our watches and phones when someone arrives, comes in and goes out. I think you can figure out the rest of that plot.
So, seeing someone with what looks like a suitcase going out, she calls from afar, to ask what is going on. I tried to duck it as a delivery and she wasn’t buying it, so I quickly admitted to having a makeover. She had to keep a positive tone with family around, but upon subsequent calls she was very cool. Upon returning home, she felt I had broken our trust and was very angry and disappointed.
She was right! After a very stressful day of heated and emotional exchanges, we regained our footing and, I believe, our trust. Lesson learned: once you re-establish trust you cannot risk breaking it! I should have told her in advance, whatever the pre-reaction would have been.
Two other good things resulted from the experience: I have a new trusted friend, confidant and cheerleader makeup artist who is wonderful. Second, after a few days my wife asked to see the photos and liked them, after a few fashion critique tips. I am happy to share a few with you. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year.