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The Fabulous Faye!


November 7, 2023

Hi Kandi,

Like many sisters we do love to share our news and gossip with each other, well this woman certainly does😊

Every quarter of the year the executive managers hold a meeting where the supervisors of both facilities can sit and openly discuss the latest issues, nothing is out of bounds ….as I was to discover!!!!. I suppose expecting forty women to agree on any subject was a bit too much to expect!!!

Three hours later and after a few intense exchanges we two groups parted with hugs and more hugs.

As it was only 9pm Julia, Debbie, Helen and I decided to go for a few drinks at our favourite wine bar. Moira, my favourite bartender, indicated that the group of women in one of the booths were collecting their coats and bags to leave, so she would get the booth cleared of their glasses and we could then settle in there.

We placed our order with Moira and waited as the young woman made good the booth for us. As we stood I heard a male voice behind me say in a low voice  “look at her behind me, she’s tall, she’s not one of those ….you know!!!” .

I could feel his eyes on me, my heart was in my mouth until another male voice saved the day.

“That is a woman and from head to toe female!!!”

He continued with “And also you have certainly crossed the line with that comment!!!”

Hearing the words she, her, female and woman within their exchange gave me a confidence boost that had me walking on air.

The evening was a blend of girltalk, gossip and all that guys assume when a group of women meet up.

Moira made the evening very special and she certainly deserved the gratuity we left for her, if only for her lovely comments on how lovely I looked and my new shorter hairstyle that displayed the earrings my niece gave me on the promise that I would have my ears pierced, which I had done.

Well that’s another step into the world of Faye.

The theatre group are deep into rehearsals for the Christmas Show and once again my services are required in the promotions area. What with my full time work at the Care Home, church and now theatre I have little time to chill, but darling sister I would have it no other way. My niece calls me a social butterfly in high heels, a comment I am happy to accept.

Your blog is still my read over breakfast or in my coffee break at my desk. 


Faye X


Your emails fill me with pride.  Pride that you and I, never to meet, are inextricably bound.  Pride that I gave you a small amount of inspiration.  And mostly pride that you are living your best possible life.

You know this will be posted unless you tell me otherwise.

It is an inspiration!



Your words alone inspire me to be who I am. I would like to make one point very clear, that is that the wine bar mentioned has a very strict policy of ‘Safety and Care for women’ and the male in question was politely requested to finish his drink and leave. The staff and particularly Moira have always given me that assurance and treated me, rightfully so, as any other female patron.

I just wished for you not to get the wrong impression of the bar/bistro.



7 Responses

  1. Kandi,
    I had to smile at your story of the conversation between the two guys because I experienced a similar one between a husband and wife .

    I was having a quiet drink and reading a local newsapaper in a loung area of a hotel waiting for a social evening to start . I was wearing a neat grey silk skirt with a matching blouse when a couple passed me on the way to the toilets , I heard the wife say , ” did you see that , I think it might have been a man !” , the husband replied , ” I’m telling you that was a woman !” On the way back I watched them out of the corner of my eye as they regained their seats to finish their drinks , as they did so I heard the husband say , ” I told you so , it is a woman ” . I then heard the wife say she wanted to read the local paper and as I was reading the only copy I stood up and took it over to them saying in a soft voice , ” I believe you wanted to read the local paper ” , and handed it to her , she thanked me with a lovely smile . I didn’t hear any more of the conversation but I think the wife was convinced her husband was right .

  2. There is a wonderful lesson in today’s post almost hidden by the account of meetings, evenings out with the girls and great hospitality from the bar and that’s the reaction of the second guy to what the first had said.

    Until I read that, I honestly didn’t know how I would have reacted in a similar situation and, in particular, whether I would have kept quiet for fear of outing myself. But that guy’s reaction was faultless and whilst my own friends are such that I’ll almost certainly never be placed in the situation that he was, I now know exactly how I’ll react if it does happen.

    And in general terms, once again in proves the simple premise that respect breeds respect.

  3. From The Fabulous Faye:

    Dear Kandi,

    How do I start this? The truth is that I missed reading it earlier because I had a staff meeting to attend. It wasn’t until it was over that I opened my iPad and there it was, ‘The Fabulous Faye!’. I must have blushed because a passing carer asked me if I was alright with a look of mutual understanding. It only dawned on me afterwards that she possibly thought I was going through the change (menopause). This took me aback almost as much as reading my experience in todays Kandi’s Land blog. The carer mentioned is from an agency, so oblivious to the impossibility of her question !!!

    Thank you Kandi for such kindness and I could hug you sweetheart.

    Faye x

  4. Kandi,

    Such an important conversation today. Thank you for sharing your conversation with Faye. For reasons probably based on biology, it is a game for many people to guess the unseen physical attributes of others, particularly when it comes to female vs male. But to comment publicly is bad manners, regardless of the physical attributes being discussed.

    One other thought Faye’s experience brings to mind (I believe I have mentioned it before). In my many thousands of times being out and about as myself (including a recent 4 full days full time), I have never heard or been subjected to a Negative comment, except once. It was immediately after the legislature in the jurisdiction I was living in began to debate a so-called “bathroom bill.” As I passed a couple in a “big box” store I overheard the husband say to the wife, “that’s the reason we need a bathroom bill.” I thought, “didn’t your mother raise you right?” Today I think there are consequences for politically motivated bills that target a specific minority, including ours. They give people permission to be hateful.


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