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So Well Said

Maybe the best description of us that I have ever read.

Glawdys de Villandry is an amazing woman on Flickr. Every year she posts her 100 Most Elegant & Stylish T-Girls and Crossdressers. I made it again this year, but that is not why I am posting this.

On her Flickr post, she writes the following:

Be proud to be you, beautiful and elegant women with a real respect for femininity.

And that’s why you’re here, among so many other fabulous women, showing the world that we’re not crazy, that we are not threats, that we are neither vulgar nor hypersexual, that we are not invisible and that we can have our place, without victimization, without hate, without violence, without resentment.

Our strength, our courage, our finesse, our determination should be a model more than a concern for those who reject us.

Glawdys de Villandry

Honestly, have you ever heard it phrased so perfectly and eloquently?

Our friends Nora, Alex and Christy also made the list! This was my winner this year.

Thank you, Glawdys!


“Grace & Mercy”, featuring me in two roles (small, minor, but on screen!) is now streaming on Amazon!


12 Responses

  1. Kandi, a very well deserved accolade and a lovely sentiment expressed by Glawdys.

    I did take a look at the original post on Flickr and would have loved to have thanked her for both the post and her accompanying sentiments. Sadly, though, she appears to have blocked me at some time in the past so those thoughts will have to remain unspoken. Disappointing, to say the least, but it has given me an idea for a post so maybe this particular cloud has a silver lining.

      1. Glawdys, firstly thank you for responding to my comment and taking the action you did. I suspect that I fell foul of your ‘IF YOU HAVE NOTHING TO SHARE, I’LL BLOCK YOU’ rule in your flickr bio! For 8 years between 2011 & 2019, my photstream was empty for a number of reasons, the main one being that I just didn’t have the confidence to post. During that time, though, I was drawing inspiration from many photostreams including yours but understand that not everyone trusts someone who claims to be a part of the community but has nothing to prove it.

        It’s impossible to know how many people are currently in the position I was in when I found your Flickr photostream but I suspect that it’s far more than we imagine. For me, of course, it had a happy ending as I finally found the courage to post and, of course, to be a regular contributor here where much of what I write is aimed particularly at those who are too frightened to emerge from the shadows. In another response here, you talk about the impact that French Lolita had on you and that’s a very important point, firstly because it recognises the impact that those who went before us had on our own identities (and I too used to look at her posts with admiration) and secondly because it reminds us that we have a duty to inspire those who come after us without seeking anything in return. It’s how we give back to the community which gives us all so much.

        Thank you for removing the block – I really appreciate it. I’m going to leave a comment on the post which was the catalyst for this because your words, quoted by Kandi in this post, were truly wonderful but also because several of the girls you feature, including Kandi of course, have done far more for me than just inspired me with their elegance.

        And finally, whether it was a fave, follow or comment that prompted the block, I have no regrets – your photostream is a true testament to your commitment to presenting both yourself and our community in the best possible way and, like all of the other girls whose photos I’ve seen over the years, it helped propel me to where I am today.

  2. Kandi,
    You definitely deserve to be on that list; the most beautiful and elegant women in the world.



  3. Kandi, I was not familiar with Glawdys de Villandry so thanks for posting that link. I absolutely LOVE your skirt suit! Very elegant presentation!

  4. You defiantly deserve the honor, you represent us so well my friend. I truly wish more people could understand our community and just realize we are just people trying to make our way in this world.
    I am who I am yet when I see negative things posted or laws considered to erase us I feel sad and as if what am I doing and why am I in this place
    This place however brings joy
    So thank you

  5. Thank you so much for sharing Kandi.
    I always thought it was important to show another image of our community.
    I understood that it was possible when I discovered, when I was just starting out, the fabulous elegance of French Lolita on flickr.
    And since then, I have been striving to understand what makes feminine elegance, and to share my discoveries as much as possible:
    And I’m so happy when I see, around the world, other women who share this idea!
    This is why I created:

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