Doing It Right

By Sherry Greer

Hi everyone, remember me? I apologize for my time away. Kandi hints about me occasionally that I used to write on a regular basis. I guess the reason for my sabbatical is that I just didn’t have anything in depth to say. I’ve certainly been out on a regular basis and could have documented my experience but to me, although amazingly fun, those times have been on the superficial side. Yes, I’ve gone to many places and have been around fabulous people but something was missing. I didn’t realize what that was until going with Kandi to the Erie Gala a couple of weeks ago and reading her blog about “Transitioning in Place“.

This was the second consecutive year I’ve gone with Kandi to Erie and have thoroughly enjoyed myself both times. Looking back at the few days there I realized something that puts into perspective the continuum that we all face. There were girls there ranging from “guys in a dress” to trans women that had SRS. I definitely lay somewhere in the middle but certainly closer to the latter. As I talked to and observed others I realized that we all have circumstances that challenge our ability to do what we have to do. I feel that I’m lucky to have more latitude to go out and be me than ever before. When I, and most of my friends, go out we want to “do it right”. But what does that mean? “Doing it Right” to me doesn’t mean the same as it does to you. The “guy in the dress” might be doing it right for her but that’s definitely not doing it right for me and that’s okay. We all need to be happy with who we are. We all need to support and allow others to be equally as happy.

My happy has increased and I feel myself thinking more openly and creatively. On numerous occasions I have been helping my wife around the house cleaning up or decorating for the next season and have come up with an idea that I don’t think I would have in a previous mindset. My creativity has increased dramatically because of my ability to relax and be me. In the past I closed myself and my thinking off to make sure people wouldn’t see the true me. Having an open mindset has made me a better person!

I did have one negative experience lately to all of the other positive ones. I was kicked out of another Meetup group because of me being me. I was at an outdoor event which included both male and female individuals and a few days later I went online to see pictures of the event and my account for that group was deactivated. I contacted the organizer and she said some people felt uncomfortable with me! After a few unpleasant and highly disagreeing emails we parted ways. I will show up at a future event just to say hello!!

As some of you recall I have a cis woman friend that I have gone out with a lot but not as frequent as with Kandi. She has been an amazing friend and we have grown closer because of her acceptance of me. She goes to see a counselor on a regular basis to work a few things out. I asked her once if she talks about me (male self) in her sessions and she said no but she does talk about Sherry! My friend also said that the counselor said that Sherry is a positive influence for her and that she should continue to see her! That made me feel SO good and was a wonderful validation of who I (Sherry) is.

This leads me to Kandi’s “Transitioning in Place”. I definitely have the same feelings that she described in her post. I absolutely LOVE all of the emotions and feelings that go along with Sherry. I have a definite girly girl spirit and cherish when I can go out and act upon it. The feeling of going out and being able to be me is such an amazing feeling. BUT I also love all of my male roles… being a husband, father, brother, son are all amazing and things that I cherish with all my heart. Not sure transitioning to full-time would be worth the sacrifice of losing some of those roles and possibly people involved with those roles. Anymore, regardless of my external appearance, I am always Sherry internally.

I sincerely hope that everyone finds peace in who they are and can live freely and happily. Hope you like the pictures!

Stay beautiful-Sherry

The fake human being (according to Facebook) was published again!

8 thoughts on “Doing It Right”

  1. Sherry,
    So good to read your piece.
    As for the bad experience with the trans/social group the best thing to do is forget them and move on , you may have grown beyond them .
    It’s a tough call when considering full time , you don’t know what you may lose until you’ve taken those steps , I found I lost very little but gained so much more . Full time isn’t easy you have to accept the commitment and so others understand your real needs . OK admission time i will have to be dad/grandpa for couple of hours this week otherwise I won’t see my grandsons for months , yes it does hurt and feels very awkward now . I really do hate being seen in male mode . The great thing is I will spend Xmas day with my daughter and her family as Teresa which is now the normal arrangement .

    Try not and question other people’s reaction and acceptance the point is they wouldn’t do it if they felt uncomfortable ” Doing it right ” is very important when going fulltime if you want to integrate into society .

    1. Teresa,
      Thanks for your input! It’s definitely a scary thought… The unknown… I’m glad you can be you, at least most of the time!

      Stay beautiful-Sherry

  2. Sherry,
    Good to hear your news again, and to see some pictures of you. You look great and beautiful outfits.
    Jocelyn

  3. So nice to see you again Sherry, and yes being who we are and understanding that need is important.
    I am fortunate not to have the restraints of having someone who objects to that anymore although I still have a desire to be in relationship.
    But being me I’m able to be that girl anytime I choose
    Yes I still have a male side that I must be for family but the girl inside is dominate indeed
    Great pictures Sherry

  4. Sherry,

    It is so good to hear from you again. I am sorry to have missed you during my visit to Cleveland. I have to admit that I did want some time to get to know Kandi better, but should have found time to say hello. Forgive me. I love what you did with hair — so cool. I am jealous. My longish hair is already an issue with the Misses. By the way, you are right about bringing out a whole ‘nother side by being Sherry. By accepting myself I feel so much freer to express that side of myself. Full time won’t work for those of us with other family/work priorities, but in my book that doesn’t mean we are any less legitimate. For that reason, we need to avoid the “haters” (even if they are simply people in a MeetUp group). You keep being you, because you are special.

    Lisa

    1. Lisa,
      I regret not meeting you as well! Being able to think and act freer has been wonderful! A weight has been lifted off of me!

      Stay beautiful-Sherry

  5. Rachael,
    Thanks for commenting! It’s great that you have very little restraints that keeps you from being you. Even when I’m not Sherry… I’m Sherry!
    Stay beautiful-Sherry

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