Certain Tenants of Kandi’s Land

I get the occasional message about something written on the blog (not by me), either a comment or Contributor post. A friend recently mentioned something and after I had responded, viola! A post was born. Here’s a little secret, I don’t read everything on the blog!

This is what the blog looks like to all of you:

This is what the blog looks like to me:

When a Contributor post runs, I don’t even read the comments, especially when the author replies themselves.  I simply don’t have the time to read everything, write my own posts, have the experiences I post about, admin the blog and oh yeah, make a living, be a grandpa and father, a good husband and a good son, deal with household needs and on and on and on. Regular Contributor’s posts are never edited, except maybe for punctuation, if I have the time. Our regular authors have earned my complete trust, and those days are theirs, not mine. The week starts with Sun-Dee, Mandy Tuesdays, guest posts on Thursdays and a house call by Gwen on Saturdays. I blather on the other days…

We usually have at least two weeks of posts written and queued up to run automatically at any point in time. So, when I do drop dead, no one will know until I am six feet under and my loved ones will already be through the grief process. I also like circling back archive posts because not everyone who reads here regularly may have seen something and it may mean something to someone.

When I started all of this, I always responded to comments here and on my other platforms. Now, if I were to do that, we would be homeless (being hyperbolic, of course) as I would not be able to work. [I will have some updates soon on my employment front, nothing exciting or of any real interest to any of you, just things that will change my life in terms of financial certainty and peace of mind.] Now I try to respond. Emojis have been a wonderful way to at least acknowledge someone’s kindness for commenting. I rarely, almost never, get any negative comments. Never here. Never on Flickr and maybe only two or three times ever on Facebook. I think it is because while being obviously trans (I rarely state that elsewhere), I am also viewed as being giving and presenting myself with grace and dignity. As such, I never draw the attention of any trolls. And in the rare circumstances I do, I don’t argue. I just block them, problem solved!

I generally have three rules for Kandi’s Land: no politics; keep things PG-13 and no whining. The specific reasons I do not want anything political is mostly because it is incredibly divisive, even when people are of the same political leaning.  Also, even if having a conversation with someone of an equally like mind, I never, ever walk away from the conversation feeling good.  Also, if one side is wrong, that does not mean the opposite side is right.  Usually these days, neither side gives a damn about anyone but themselves. Kandi’s Land was built as a community and tries to spread love and acceptance. That is ultimately the solution to the world’s problems and while it never has and never will happen universally, we do what we can to touch a life here or there. Maybe kindness becomes contagious?

I have allowed a few Contributors to touch on certain things, but when they do so it is generally done acknowledging there are two sides to every coin. What fills me with great pride is we have points of view by someone actively in transition, those in between due to personal circumstances, CDs who go out frequently, those that get out on the rare occasion and those who are very limited, completely out of the game, so to speak, closeted or can only imagine what it would be like.  I want different, varied and respectful viewpoints.

We also want to share, but we do not want anyone whining. We all have issues, be they personal, with a loved one, health related, financial, and many more. I want someone to walk away from their three minute daily read here feeling good about themselves, maybe learning something or feeling they are not a freak or abnormal, that they are NEVER alone.

This makes me happy! Seems my pleads for readers to access us directly is gaining traction. Yeah, I know this backstage stuff is boring… Looks like almost 75% of you come straight here. My sincere thanks!

As always, be smart, be appropriate, be confident and be visible!