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Blending In – No Big Deal

Jocelyn checks in and as always, that makes me very happy!

By Jocelyn Johnson

I recently had an opportunity to get out en femme. It has been quite a while since my excellent dinner get togethers with Kandi in Cleveland. On those two occasions I was able to wear, as part of my outfits, skirts, pantyhose and on one of the occasions, heels. I love wearing skirts and stockings.

But this time I wanted to completely blend in with all the women at the stores and on the streets. We all know, unfortunately, that modern women do not wear dresses or skirts. I wanted to look just like all the other ladies while I was going about my daily errands.

The week before I had purchased a pair of Jogger pants. Certainly not fashionable, but something a women in 2023 would wear for day-to-day activities. After applying makeup, I slipped into the Joggers, a sweater, put on a pair of flats, and then out the door.

I drove to my local town and made stops at various shops for bird seed, water and window shopping. A stop at the post office and the bank was followed by a visit to the town park and museum (nothing like Cleveland’s). I took a few pictures and relaxed.

Then off to a fast food place for a burger and onion rings. My errands were completed so I returned home.

During my day I did not see any woman wearing a skirt, dress or heels. In my opinion I blended in completely. I looked like an older lady going about her business. I can’t imagine anyone took any special notice of me.

I felt very comfortable, confident and natural. I was not nervous or shy or flamboyant or anxious. It was just me doing my thing, like thousands of other women. We all have to just be ourselves. If given the opportunity as a TG this is how I would go about my life.

No big deal.

Love to you all,


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14 Responses

  1. Another great post Jocelyn, glad you had a great time.

    This should provide inspiration for all those who want to break free into the outside world. Put on a dress & heels and you will be noticed, usually for all the right reasons, but it can still be unnerving if you’re not used to it. Dressing more casually doesn’t mean you’re diminishing the inner woman in any way, particularly because it’s closer to what other women wear as you quite rightly say, and just makes the experience a little less stressful.

    And it only takes a short walk in heels to understand why most women save them for special occasions only!

  2. Amanda,
    Thank you for your comments and support.

    Being casually dressed while performing errands around town is normal for a woman. A lady would never wear a dress and heels, unless you are June Cleaver and it is the 50s or 60s.

    I was comfortable and feeling as feminine as always. If I had been in a skirt and heels I would have felt out of place, and people would have seen me as someone who is seeking attention.

    Life is good. I was, and am, happy.


  3. Hi Jocelyn:
    An excellent post, one to which I and I’m sure many readers can relate. In my very brief experience going out and about en femme, blending in does not have to mean diminishing the feminine qualities you admire and seek to emulate. It might mean adjusting your wardrobe to the event and venue at hand, and that could be very good, even expand your outlook a bit! It may go against the grain for some of us since it was pretty dresses, skirts and heels that attracted us to the crossdressing experience in the first place. However, who among us has not admired a lovely woman dressed casually in jeans, casual top and sneakers? I think it’s just as important for us to direct our attention to an appropriate casual wardrobe as well as a dressy one and consider blending in – with style – a goal in itself . I’ve found that approach very satisfying when out and about -especially solo – and adds an element to the fun of shopping too!

    1. Kris,
      Thanks for your comments. And very well said.

      I really like the way you explain the stylish casual approach. I find myself being extremely comfortable and appropriate in casual attire while doing errands in town.

      Kris, your sentence is so true: “I think it’s just as important for us to direct our attention to an appropriate casual wardrobe as well as a dressy one and consider blending in – with style – a goal in itself”. I know my fashion sense is poor, but I keep trying.

      You and Amanda are able to articulate our thoughts and actions much better than myself. Thank you both.


  4. I have been going out enfemme on and off since 1979 or 80. I always dress to blend in when I’m out shopping. I had a few looks and a couple of disturbing incidents years ago. Today it seems to me that most people really don’t care. Just go out and enjoy the experience.

  5. I’m the casual girl for sure mostly because of my height I don’t want to stand out more than I do.
    You look wonderful Jocelyn a great combo,
    If I wear a dress it’s this time of year but of course it’s a cute sundress

    1. Rachael,
      Thank you so much for your kind comment regarding my style.

      I too am quite tall. Casual is best for us.


  6. Jocelyn,
    It makes sense to dress appropriately , just go out and do the jobs that need doing like most women would .

    Do we get caught out ? Well sometimes it does happen . Last Saturday my National Trust group had organised an afternoon tea to raise money for Trust projects . Thankfully it was a lovely sunny day so I chose a red floral dress with soft pink wedges and a matching jacket . I must admit I was surprised by the comments about my dress , I was expecting more ladies to be wearing something similar . After I remembered I was running short of fresh milk and a few other items , I decided to drop in at my usual supermarket as I passed it on my return journey . My red dress really did get some second looks , the checkout girl said , ” love the dress !” I thanked her and explained where I’d been earlier that afternoon .
    It’s amazing the difference fabric colour makes , the red dress is the same style of a navy, spotted one I’d bought previously , it’s an easy to wear everyday dress that looks smart without attracting attention . I also bought one in black with white and red flowers again that looks more dressy but not as eye catching as the red one .

    1. Teresa,
      Casual is good for running errands.

      And a dress for a social function is quite acceptable, and you will receive favourable comments. It sounds like you were looking good. Or should I say “HOT”. Well done.


  7. Great post . And as the old saying goes “ When in Rome do as the Romans do “ I guess we long to be dresses and skirts so much that it’s hard to dress down. I have never been out in public so it’s hard for me to comment. I do enjoy reading everyone else’s experiences. It’s a shame that a lot of women don’t seem to wear dresses and skirts as much

    1. Chris,
      Thanks for your support.

      This is what is great about being female, the ability to wear a wide variety of clothes to suit our mood or the situation we are in.

      A dress or skirt would always be my first choice, but I realise capris or leggings is more popular these days.



  8. thats my usual go to wear when I am out and about around town, mall, a movie and daily errands. Dressing to blend and get out like any other woman who is out and about. of course a dinner or a evening out will cause me to dress to impress at least myself.

    1. Sallee,
      You said it exactly right, dressing to blend makes so much sense. And certain activities require a certain wardrobe.

      But no matter what your gender some people will wear elaborate outfits, which is totally OK. We each need to adopt our personal style.

      Thanks Sallee.


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