A Peak Behind The Curtain

I figured I’d give you a little look behind the scenes as to how this blog comes together. When I have some downtime, I write a number of posts, usually essays on some aspect of our subject matter. Lately, now that I have a stockpile of essays, I rework them for your reconsideration as well as for new readers. We also have a cadre of amazing Contributors, those that write to a specific topic, those that allow me to harvest incredibly insightful posts they have run on other platforms.

Whenever a thought or post idea hits me, I write it up as soon as possible. An essay (my non-outing posts) gets written and may spend months before it gets posted. During that time it gets read and reread, written and rewritten, added to with an additional thought or related idea. It is rare that a post gets written and goes to press without many rewrites. I enjoy the writing process very much, wish it could be my career, but I am too old and technologically challenged to make that a reality.

Outing posts are always enjoyable for me (obviously because I get to get dressed and go out!). The day after my outing I upload any photos and generally save at least one full body picture and one close up. If I am able to get some quality photos while out, those are kept as well. I generally take at least 6-8 different poses every time I get dressed, at least two get saved and inventoried. Photos are cropped and the lighting adjusted as possible. No photo shopping, as you can tell, or I would look a whole lot better! Pictures are always taken with my iPhone, a tripod and a remote. You will almost never see me in one of those photos with me in a mirror standing there holding the camera/phone (phones have selfie modes with a timer, why even do it this way?). The principal photo is then loaded on my Flickr page and the post for the blog is written up and scheduled in the coming days.

Understand, a post is written and I frequently write about how I am feeling that date of the post. Those feelings can change, evolve, improve, worsen, what have you, by the time the post actually runs. I am more open in this forum about how I am feeling than anywhere else. It is quite literally my diary, my journal. In the real world, I will often bury things that are bothering me so as not to worry my wife. She has some anxiety issues, especially since she lost half of her hearing to fucking Covid, so I try not to upset her with things until and unless it is necessary.

It has been suggested that I don’t need to post daily, as many who do this know, daily posts can become a grind. But I do get help as previously mentioned. Some Contributors get excited and write on so many topics and then burn out. Some even go out with me and actively avoid having their photo taken with me…… hmmmmm, who are we talking about? Love you BFF!

Before this blog came into existence, I still posted photos and a story on my Flickr page, so doing that here is no extra work. I seem to need to document whatever I am lucky enough to be able do. Many of these things I am amazed actually have happened. I feel an obligation to make “this”, however one defines it, be of value, not to be some self-indulgent activity. Yes, there certainly is self-indulgence in what I spend, in time, money and mental energy, but I hope that how I help and the fact that I am turning Kandi into a much better breadwinner than her predecessor.

This blog has become a terrible business for me. There are expenses and miniscule revenues. But it is absolutely a labor of love. On the day I updated and polished up this post, I had the house to myself, worked my tail off for about six hours, then walked six miles and enjoyed a few while allowing my creative juices to flow. My fabulous iTunes collections blared as I just sat and wrote, almost completely in a stream of consciousness. I created about five posts on this day.

Kandi’s Land is about my experiences and observations in the real world. It is also about my readers and their experiences and observations. I try to stay in my lane. It is never about politics or fashion. Politics is too divisive, breeds contempt regardless of your political views and is never, ever an uplifting discussion. I have never had a political discussion that left me feeling good afterward, regardless of whom I am talking to and their political leanings. Beside, I can do nothing to change things on a global basis, I cannot impact the group think that permeates society.

What I can do is make a difference one person at a time. Whether that is something like the many e-mails I receive or giving a hug to someone who is supportive or a smile to a kind passer-by or pitch in to a worthwhile cause like the many charities or institutions I support, when I am indeed doing something good. Something worthwhile.

For me, if there isn’t a reason I have had to go through what I went through to get here, then it simply isn’t worth it all. I simply cannot be the go-to-the-club girl. Do not get me wrong, I do spend time at bars (Lord knows, I drink enough…..), I do enjoy socializing, but as Kandi’s main activity, it simply leaves me empty. Understand no one knows better than I that “this” is so different for each and every one of us. Different ways to get dressed, different taste in clothes, different things that make us happy. We are all snowflakes, no two alike. To an internet reader, we may look similar in terms of “this” and yet nothing could be further from the truth.

Fashion is beyond my knowledge. I will only comment on something I have actually worn. I know what looks good on me, chosen from my massive wardrobe, but beyond that, I am clueless. The blog is 100% about being positive, uplifting, thoughtful, supportive, loving and mostly real. How I really feel, what I really experienced, how I was really treated.

One thing that I hope comes through very clearly here, this is all about being ladylike. There is never anything sexual or sensual written here. We all wear underwear, you don’t really need to know what’s under my outfit. How often do women talk about what they are wearing under their clothing? My blog is principally G rated, maybe PG13 at its most risque.

Take a break and shop for the latest fragrances from

Ralph Lauren!

I may repeat myself with a thought or idea, okay I frequently do so. That generally is because I had that thought and wrote it into a post that wasn’t run for a while and then the thought hits me again and I include it somewhere else. Forgive that. I also know there are very few of you that have read every post. I know I have periodic readers and I want to make sure I drive certain points home to anyone who wants to get out there, those as you know: be smart, appropriate, confident and visible!

I get to see continuous statistics on hits and reads. One thing I have noticed, whenever I get someone else involved, my readership usually spikes. Whether I turn the day’s post over to someone like Dee or Gwen, or I engage in a give and take with someone or discuss an outing with a friend, interest increases. And that makes me very happy! Parenthetically, I don’t know how one would know I am not posting without clicking on to see who posted, but I digress. I am not all that interesting (trust me on that) and want to continue to try and foster a sense of community here, with like-minded ladies. This is meant to be a community and if it is to sustain itself, I need help along the way. Even a simple question or comment may spark a post idea and generate some thought. I want this to be fun and joyful, never silly and childish.

Well, that’s how I roll. Thanks to all of you that visit, whether it be periodically or daily. It keeps me going and helps me continue to intellectualize my feelings and experiences, a necessary step in my continued comfort with who and what I am. It also has helped me evolve and seek new and different ways to get out there, to be visible. We’ll keep going here as long as there is interest and I’m not getting repetitious. The minute that happens, I’ll step aside. I don’t see that happening any time soon.

This ended up being a bit of a synopsis of my blog, what it is, who I am and how I view the world. I am very proud of how I have evolved the blog. From a WordPress domain address that I myself never knew to a regular viewership of over 500 folks daily. But that still is not all we can be!

I certainly know I am horribly biased, but I think this blog, in the universe of CD/TG related blogs, is very relatable, honest and can show you how you can go from staying closeted to getting out there, if that is what you want to do.

I do believe that my keeping things “G” rated hurts me in terms of hits. I know it has significantly affected me on Flickr. And yes, I am embarrassed that this bothers me. But that’s me. I do get frequent feedback from all over the globe and that pleases me greatly. But I still seek more readers. I will readily admit, I am horribly biased. In the universe of blogs on this subject matter, I never mail it in. Many do. I put thought and effort into every daily post. Many blogs are written by those with significant resources, they can afford makeup artists and professional photographers. I cannot. Or they don’t really venture out all that frequently. I do so all of the time. Okay, Kandi shut up!

I will go down fighting for what this place is, who we have gotten to know, who is still out there needing a hand or just a little support. I have this vision when I am called from the Earth where the Big Guy is looking down on me, throws me a beautiful glowing gown and invites me inside because I cared. I do care. It’s all I have, all that I am.

If you know anyone with a similar interest, please invite them to Kandi’s Land!

Again, thank you one and all!! Tell someone that you love that you love them!