I’ve never known a girl like you before
Now just like in a song from days of yore
Here you come knocking, knocking on my door
Well, I’ve never met a girl like you before
I wanted to take the opportunity to speak to those new to Kandi’s Land, new to me and who and what I am. As always, you can read about how I got to this point here. I regularly post on three platforms; here, Flickr and Facebook. I fully acknowledge, having an ego like anyone else, it makes me happy to do this. It gives me validation. It provides always needed acceptance. I very rarely get any negative feedback and on the rare occasions I do, I simply block that person and move on. To the best of my memory, I have never really had a cross word openly spoken to me in public.
You give me just a taste so I want more
Now my hands are bleeding and my knees are raw
‘Cause now you got me crawling, crawling on the floor
And I’ve never known a girl like you before
In my heart, I believe that community is the solution to any problem you can find in society. Being a part of any community requires flexibility, compromise, finding ways to get along. From an overall perspective, a properly functioning society is a community. I may not believe in what you believe in, but I believe you have the right to have those beliefs. I may not agree with your positions, but I do believe you have the right to that position (as long as it does not hurt others). And yes, I know many positions of many do hurt others. I am not naive, I have seen and done things as documented here, that many don’t understand. I have successfully navigated the world seared with two scarlet letters, being a felon and being trans. I know, I understand. I look at both sides of a circumstance. And I know this to be gospel; you can only fight hate with love. Easy? Of course not, but it is the truth.
You made me acknowledge the devil in me
I hope to God I’m talking metaphorically
Hope that I’m talking alegorically
Know that I’m talking about the way I feel
So why post? Why be so public? Because above all else, visibility matters. I know with certainty I have enlightened many by simply being out. By simply being kind and appearing “normal” to the uneducated in public. I have said so here many times, I must be “this way” for some reason. I have made being a strong positive example my life’s mission. Hopefully, the pearly gates will accept me for this. All I know from well over a thousand times out in public; in front of hundreds of thousands of people in so many varied circumstances is that indeed actual people are quite kind. They are quite accepting. Not those cowards that hide behind social media to spew hate. I look people in the eye with a broad smile and always answer any and every question they may have. While you will occasionally see me photographed with others, I don’t often post those, especially outside of the blog. This is my life on display; they may or may not have asked to be presented in that fashion.
And I’ve never known a girl like you before
Never, never, never, never
Never known a girl like you before
The title of this post is the title of a very favorite song by Edwyn Collins. Released in 1994, the lyrics speak to the theme of today’s post. Kinda describes when someone first meets me. Check this one out, you won’t be sorry.
This old town’s changed so much
Don’t feel like I belong
Too many protest singers
Not enough protest songs
And now you’ve come along
Yes, you’ve come along
And I’ve never met a girl like you before
It’s alright, yeah, it’s alright, yeah, it’s alright, yeah, it’s alright, yeah
It’s alright, yeah, it’s alright, yeah, it’s alright, yeah, it’s alright, yeah
It’s alright, yeah, it’s alright, yeah, it’s alright, yeah, it’s alright, yeah
It’s alright, yeah, it’s alright, yeah, it’s alright, yeah, it’s alright, yeah
It’s alright, yeah, it’s alright, yeah, it’s alright, yeah, it’s alright, yeah
It’s alright, yeah, it’s alright, yeah, it’s alright, yeah, it’s alright, yeah
It’s alright, yeah, it’s alright, yeah, it’s alright, yeah, it’s alright, yeah
8 Responses
Great post, Kandi, and I hope you won’t mind me adding my own thoughts to the newbies and those struggling to make sense of their own situation.
I don’t want to sound presumptive or self-obsessed but it’s all to easy to put us on a pedestal. I did it myself for years fearing that I would never have the skills to achieve anything approaching an acceptable transformation or the guts to step into the outside world, let alone interact with others. I’ve been incredibly proud to share my achievements here; of course I’ve done so with the hope that I will inspire others to follow in my footsteps but, as you say, the need for validation and acceptance played a huge part and, if I’m honest, was the primary factor.
But what is important to remember is that we’re three dimensional people. Pictures and words on a page are by necessity two dimensional and, moreover, carefully curated to portray us in the best possible way. Take my profile pic on the contributors page; that represents less than 1% of my life with the other greater than 99% contrasting in every possible way and it’s not easy to get a balance. What makes it even harder is much though I’d like my two sides to be kept completely separate, in practical terms that’s impossible. The frustrations of my diminishing feminine opportunities plague my male life, as does the guilt of going way beyond the boundaries Mrs A thought she was agreeing to and the sheer exhaustion that comes from the constant need for secrecy and track covering. And I know I’m not alone in this; I have exchanged emails with a number of others who seemed to have the whole thing nailed down and beneath the veneer of perfection, it was much the same story as mine with spousal conflict being high on the list of issues.
Kandi’s Land has been a constant source of inspiration for me and to those of you struggling or looking to make the next step, just remember that everyone here has been through what you’re going through. It gets easier and the important thing to remember is that we’re all just human – what you see here is just temporary relief from, not a permanent solution to, the pressures of life.
Your input is always valued and your words, very kind! 😘
Well said my friend 😘
❤️
Kandi and All Others,
This website, and Kandi, have been “a life saver” for me. I have gained so much from the many posts and comments. I have gained friendships and support.
I have learned about others and myself. I have been inspired. Visibility is of prime importance. It shows the world, and yourself, what is possible.
I read Kandi’s Land everyday.
Thank you everyone.
Love,
Jocelyn
💗💗💗
Finally found how to.get your site. YAY!
Awesome!!!!!