“You’re Always Pretty When You Come in Here”

And that ladies, that little phrase, that compliment, that act of kindness, is exactly why I do what I do.

This July 25, 2021 day I had a commitment for another shift at Mercury Theatre. These shifts are only about an hour, so I need to make a bit of a day of it. But let’s first talk outfit!

I picked this dress up at a recent clothing swap. It felt summer, it felt theater and it felt good for church, so we ran with it. I pulled the burgundy stripes out with burgundy finger and toe nails and the lipstick color. I always like it when my polish and make up complements my dress! Hearts were part of the jewelry theme.

My first stop was a small farmer’s market where I picked up a loaf of sourdough bread (so freakin’ good). There I got quite a few smiles and big hellos!

Then I went to Mass. Again, no real interaction and zero issues with me being me. I sat in a big empty area and people all filled in around me. I do love being a woman in a church. How I get up and down, tuck my dress under me when I sit, how I hold myself, working on my posture, all of it.

I then hit the Goodwill where I picked up a cute top ($70 original tag still attached) and adorable LBD (dry cleaner tag still attached). $5 out the door. There the cashier, who checked me out with a wonderful compliment a few weeks prior, hit me with the compliment you see above! I could not have thanked her more profusely. What a sweetheart!

I killed some time walking the mall and then reported for my shift at the theater. At both places I received a number of compliments, including one on my hair! I then stopped at Nordstrom Rack just to stretch my day a bit in my dress. Not sure I have said this recently, I love the choice I made, to be the woman I am. I know, I am not always this woman, but when I am, I am so blissful. It is a joy and a blessing.

Here I am in front of my palatial estate (not!).

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Random Thoughts: So a great friend recently asked me the following: “Reading your latest posts, it seems your gender dysphoria may be a little stronger now than before. Not that it’s a bad thing, but are you handling it OK? Based on the history you’ve shared, both in person and via the blog, you tend to try to shove things pretty far down a hole in trying to deal with it. Just checking…as someone you can vent to if need be…because often there aren’t a lot of people we can share our thoughts with.” How lucky am I to have friends like this?

As I explained I have a hard time articulating my feelings on this whole gender thing.  I really have no dysphoria, which to me would imply some negative feeling when I am male.  I have none of that and frankly am proud of the man I have become.  It’s just that I have found this space in the world that makes Kandi so much fun to be, it’s a deep feeling of contentment, not a feeling of “being right”, that I cannot explain.  It’s sort of that euphoric feeling I have gotten when I accomplished a few things, like my first marathon.  Make sense?

No one ever said this shit was easy!