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Uneventful Horizon

Always thoughtful...

By Alexandra

Alex has allowed me to mine her wonderful thoughts and pictures from her Flickr page. I do so because she is a friend, I do so because she is beautiful (inside and out) and I do so because she brings yet another look at our little community here. If you click here, you will be taken to the original post and her Flickr page.

Here is another photo from the February 2024 “window of opportunity” session. I know I said the last one was the last one, but I was wrong. Sometimes, a rejected photo reemerges as a good one. Odd, that.

I hope you are all doing well. Everything on my end is moving along swimmingly, though not much to report on the Alex front.

Lately I’ve been thinking about the stages of crossdressing; that is, the different, general forms of expressing the joys of crossdressing. The first stage is imagination, or the ability to imagine being crossdressed. A crossdresser can tap this capability anytime, anywhere. It is informed by experience, so the more opportunities one crossdresses, the greater the number of volumes of data one can access. This library of information can be used to stretch the crossdressing experience well beyond the physical and temporal; you can wear anything, anywhere, with anyone. Those very deep into crossdressing (and often you will not know who they are) will only imagine themselves crossdressed.

The second stage is virtual. Here, you leverage limited physical crossdressing experiences (e.g., at home) to extend the duration of pleasure through photography and writing. In my experience, the process takes advantage of the few times during the year when crossdressing is possible and photographs are taken of the results. These images are curated so the best are selected, based on a variety of parameters, and are posted to social media or some other site. Personally, I like to augment these photos with commentary. In this way, one can interact with the world, even if it is not physical. It is still quite meaningful. Mostly, those in the closet will explore virtual crossdressing, finding and building a community of like-minded individuals.

The third stage is physical, which of course can go in a myriad directions. In this form of crossdressing, you tend to go “full up” wearing an outfit, makeup, and a wig and get out into the world; that is, beyond your front door. So, on one extreme, you might drive around crossdressed and that’s it. On the other, you effectively go out as your crossdressed alter ego, well beyond the “safe” community of fellow crossdressers to mainstream interactions. It is perhaps at this point that some discover a deeper truth, that they are, in fact, uncovering a true identity that is female in nature. But most are “just” crossdressers out to have a good time with good friends, all of whom happen to wear frocks and know a thing or two about shoes and makeup.

A version of the physical form of crossdressing is to venture into the world en femme without interacting with fellow crossdressers at all, or, if with a friend who crossdresses, seeking to not draw attention to themselves because of what they’re wearing. In otherwords, the joy is about blending in as a female without actually wanting to be. This blending is considered hard for many people to understand because they may perceive such behavior as a desire to transition but with a denial about that desire. In my case, it is the ultimate result of escalating crossdressing to its ultimate conclusion. Having more or less accomplished this feat, there are no major milestones I feel I need to experience. After venturing into the mainstream world crossdressed several times, the buzz of novelty has waned and the drive has diminished. Put another way, in my case, the journey has come to a conclusion.

Curiously, I find that I am relying more on the earlier stages of crossdressing, imagining, or rather remembering previous experiences of crossdressing. They are pleasant memories. But also the virtual, where I seem to be most comfortable these days. The trouble is finding opportunities to refresh the library with new material. That serves as an incentive, I suppose, lest I let the whole thing simply fade away. I think that would make me sad.

I hope you found this interesting. It’s certainly proof that while I may not be as motivated to actually crossdress as much as I did in the past, I still gain significant pleasure in thinking about it!

  • Dress: SHEIN
  • LadyShoes: Bandalino
  • Hosiery: Pretty Polly

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4 Responses

  1. Hello Alexandra,
    This is an excellent essay and it nicely presents your overall sensibility as I understand it. I have always enjoyed your writing and the well crafted images that you post. Dressing as an art and craft is how I view my participation in the world of crossdressing as well and I have long felt a shared sense with your approach as you have described it.

    For me at least, the interest in and desire to crossdress does not fade across time. There are certainly times that present demands that prevent opportunities and the desire to dress, such as work pressures, illnesses, and any number of other typical human scenario events but they only temporarily push dressing down on the list of priorities; it always returns when things normalize.

    Dressing is a pleasant element in my life, and along with the many other activities and pursuits that I do I am fortunate to have a life that is relatively rich and diverse. I hope your evolution with regard to your art and craft bring you enjoyment however it may change.

    Best to you,
    Marissa in Ohio

  2. Alexandia,
    I dress in female attire from the skin out amost every day and openly and unabashedly assume my femine name, thoughts, values and appreciations. I am aware of the many labels used in the past decades to include transvestite, and cross dresser, I see these terms as pertaining largely to the fetish/joy of wearing glorious clothes, I have come to believe that the feelings, emotions I experience when I am in my female mental and emotional mode goes beyond merely appearrances.

    Just another aspect of who we might be.

  3. Alexandra,
    I beginning to see the use of the word ” crossdressers ” more as a verb rather than a noun . To say you are a crossdresser means very little but to say I crossdress because …….. , says so much more about the person . You crossdress because you see it as an art form or a craft to learn and enjoy but we all have different motivations . I admit I often became annoyed when people called it a hobby simply because my dressing caused pain and hurt to myself and my family , it felt like an insult to them to pass it off as a hobby , I now see it can be a hobby to some .

    Venturing out is the dream of the majority of CDers but what exactly are we trying to prove , what drives that need ? Why would a man strive to be recognised and possibly accepted as a woman , I still feel the majority of us have gender dysphoria , to some like me there is only one solution to come to terms with it to others it comes and goes . I find it harder to explain how some CDers can go weeks , months or even years and suddenly the urge overtakes them again , whereas I consistently felt it from the age of 10 .

    Do I see it as an artform or craft ? Women are lucky in that respect , they can craft their looks in so many ways , the way they wear their hair , the way they apply makeup and the way they can dress to set their mood and feelings .

    I don’t see a division between being a crossdresser and a transgender person because I had to pass through the first to achieve the second , the main difference is one of acceptance , it’s a continual battle for a TG to step into a female world , we have no safety net to fall back on . Hand on heart , I can truthfully say it was worth it .

  4. I have limited opportunities to dress, so it is very important to make the most of the experience. If I could I would dress more often. My interest in expressing does not fade over time, it is always with me, even in those long periods when I cannot dress. l do identify on the transgender spectrum and do not feel any gender dysphoria. I also feel it is more then dressing, it is who a I’m as a bi-gender individual.
    Alex, you are a beautiful woman.

    Julie

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