As many of you know, the life we lead, the needs we have to express our femininity, however we define it for ourselves, is not easy. It may well bring you joy, it may well bring you contentment, it may well destress you, but it still has its challenges. As you know here, being Kandi brings me absolute joy. You can see that in all of my pictures and I believe by now, I have presented significant evidence that this is indeed my truth.
But there still is this bifurcation in my own mind. Me/Kandi, who I am today, or this evening or next Tuesday? I have made certain wardrobe changes and body changes over the years that have done things to merge the two people that I am. Nine years in and I am still trying to find that proper balance and this day, February 9, 2023, was no different. Life is not as simple as simply slipping on a dress, doing my makeup and waltzing out the door.
Here is a similar skirt suit, take a look!
This was a Thursday, which for a few more weeks, means an evening improv class. So I made a full day of it, beginning my day with a sales call as Kandi. For the day, I was dressed in a lovely skirt suit. Something like this checks all the boxes: presenting as a business woman; being productive for the household; moving from appointment to activity seamlessly as a real working woman, trying to normalize it all.
The call was a waste of time. I won’t get too far into what I do to generate revenues. I leveraged up a volunteer relationship to get the time of the person I met with. She was polite but didn’t understand a word I said. Oh well, good experience.
I sat in the coffee shop next door for about an hour, doing some work, responding to emails and writing for this here blog.
I then drove back across town to meet my great (new) friend Melissa for a wine tasting, then we were joined over time by Andrea, Donna and our Sherry. A lovely few hours for me.
Then back across town for improv. A lot of driving that day, but a full day and on many levels, a “normal” day.
Check out Violetta’s blog, our Austrian correspondent!
If you have any interest in being a model in an actual fashion show, I need to hear from you very soon!
9 Responses
What a great look Kandi; indeed a business woman.
Whatever changes you are making are surely improving your appearance and femininity. What a beauty you are!
Keep up your wonderful work.
Jocelyn
Thank you my marvelous friend!
Kandi ,
I feel my life is in balance , even going as far as saying its’ normal BUT ! We then get days when the past hits home .
To tell the story , I booked tickets for an open air theatre performance in July for a good GG friend as a Xmas treat . She rang to say she’d doubled booked that night and was it possible to re-book for the following night . The theatre is only a twenty minutes drive away so I popped down in person to the box office , as I walked in the main door I was hit by a huge display of large framed pictures depicting scenes from Shakespear’s plays ( The theatre is actually called the Stamford Shakespear Company ) . I made my way upstairs to the box office where they kindly exchanged my tickets . I then said I have a confession to make , I’m reponsible for taking those pictures on display ( in fact most of the ones up to 36″ x 24″ I’d printed the photographs and framed them all , the larger 48″ ones were out sourced ), the problem was in the programs the byline was in my male name . The three guys in the office were perfectly OK with but for me it was an odd feeling , on the one hand it was wonderful to see all my work on display even after all these years but I knew it was the male me had taken them . I drove away partly with elation and partly confused .
I’m really looking foward to the performance , hopefully if the weather is kind we will enjoy a picnic in the landscaped grounds and then take our seats in the open air theatre ( the audience is covered but the stage isn’t ) .
Kandi,
Sorry I forgot to add I worked for the company for 14 years , the photographs were used for the prgrams and the best subjects selected for framed enlargements . I retired from photography almost twenty years ago and my contract with them ended ten years before that . So perhaps you can understand why the display struck me after all these years , the memories that came flooding back of the characters that played the parts . The season lasts from June to August and all the actors are amateur volunteers , so it’s a huge committment on their behalf .
We always look forward to your input Terri, thanks!!
You look quite professional my friend and yes this road we are on is most interesting
As you know I’m more fluid in my presentation at work and today I wore a blouse with capped sleeves
2 years ago I never would have wore such a top unless I was full en fem. However I now am comfortable just being me without all the constraints of full on presenting and it works wonderful for me as I am able to blend in my feminine expression in such a way.
My coworkers pretty much just accept me for who I am and yes it makes me smile
Love ya my friend
Love ya too, Rach!!
Kandi, I really applaud you for all the different ways you have moved the balance point in your life, personally and professionally. Even a disappointing business meeting as Kandi is a win!
In my own life I have felt the need to shift more of my life towards Kimberly and am fortunate enough to be able to live much of my day to day life as such. If motivation to live more as a woman, there is plenty friction and drag to overcome, and there are days when I second guess myself. Ive come to accept that as part of the deal.
I think we all have good days and bad days, days we know exactly who we are and days we question what we are doing.
While I know I am not alone, it is always good to be reminded of that.