Hey friends!
I posted this yesterday (Editorial Comment: it has been some time since she posted it on her Facebook page) and wanted to expand on it. Here’s what I shared…
🌈 Time to say F*CK it and live our truth, right? I finally started letting some key business contacts know I’m trans (male to female, for those just tuning in), and guess what? Their response was straight-up awesome: “I’m so happy for you, and honestly, you’re way better looking as a girl!” 😄
The responses to my post were pretty much what I expected—mostly happy for me, with the occasional troll thrown in. I was hoping I could inspire a few folks along the way.
I wrote a post many years ago called “Frozen at the Door.” Look it up; it’ll probably hit home.
We get frozen by what we perceive as “societal acceptance,” don’t we? I know it did for me, and it held me back to different degrees throughout my life. We never really get rid of fear. We simply domesticate fear and expand our dominance over it.
The most recent iteration of fear was in my business life, as my post showed. I was very concerned about losing potential clients and old business associates, so I’d straddle the boy/girl world where I could.
However, years of doing that wear on you. Then I crossed the Rubicon, as they say, and did something that was very difficult to hide. Can you guess what that was? Yeah, breast augmentation. Twice. Kinda hard to hide “the girls.”
I got to a point where I felt I was living, but not to my fullest potential. Instead of pushing my male-ness away, I decided to embrace the best characteristics of both my male-ness and female-ness to become better as a combined force than I could ever be solo. A hybrid unicorn!
This leads me back to my original statement. I had to be me, and I found out that the brick wall of “opinion” was really a paper-thin veil and easily penetrated.
The real takeaway?
Most folks out there aren’t losing sleep over our journeys—they’re too busy with their own chaos, and that’s totally fair. We’ve all got those superficial pals who keep things light, but if we’re lucky, we snag that one (or a few) ride-or-die friends who stick around through the highs, lows, and everything in between. Not talking romantic partners here—just those soul-deep buddies who get you. They don’t happen overnight; they take time, laughs, and real effort to grow.
We waste so much energy stressing about what others think, but let’s flip that: It’s freeing to realize it’s not as big a deal as we make it. Life is too short.
So here’s to owning our stories, building those genuine connections, and shining brighter every day. Live your life the way you want with no regrets.
Who’s with me?
Drop a ❤️ if this hits home! 💕
Dr. Gwen Patrone
#gwenpatrone #commonsense #transition #RealFriendsAreRare #beyourselfloveyourself
3 Responses
Gwen ,
The trap we can fall into is thinking people are OK because we’ve told them , at that point they only can imagine what (the **** ) we look like . The mistake we probably make is worrying what they think , in fact it doesn’t really matter what they think because it won’t change you . So what happens when they finally see you , how do you behave , do you give them a twirl and place a big lip sticked kiss on their cheek ??? It would be great to ask other members here how they dealt with the first meeting with old friends or colleagues . On the whole they don’t recognise the new you , they still try and see the old one , they then follow on by asking ” What do I call you ?” I kept that one simple because I turned my male version into the female one , if you can do that it makes life so much easier , you don’t experience the awkwardness of correcting them . Ok they still get tongue tied between using HE – SHE , I just give them a gentle smile and and a verbal nudge , any more than that it’s time to walk away and try not to argue the point with them .
On the whole people will respect you for your honesty but don’t spoil it by playing games with them , don’t embarrass them if you want to gain full acceptance , if you look like a woman try and act like one .
Have I had any rejections ? Only my ex , my son is not rejecting me but he’s still being cautious with his wife and sons , some family members aren’t on board on my sister’s side but that’s their problem not mine .
Do people lose sleep over your gender issues ? I would say only close family , as you say people are otherwsie tied up in their own problems to worry about you .
LOVE this!!!
I have had at least two F*ck It moments. Once you go thru that paper barrier YOU have set up, it’s a wonder life.