Burning Down the House

I just saw David Byrne at our Playhouse Square (should I have titled this “Byrning Down the House”?). I simply have no words for the greatness of this show. It was visually spectacular. Byrne dug deep into the Talking Heads catalog with so many gems, many from the “Fear of Music” album. The stage, backdrop and floor, is a video screen, with many different scenes programmed for each song. The band, much like his American Utopia tour (see it on HBO) is not stationary on stage, all musicians are also dancers and all instruments are carried. It was just amazing. It really dawned on me how many iconic lyrics that he penned, some of which we will share here. I cannot articulate my great admiration for this man’s amazing talent.

The 2026 Cleveland Magazine Silver Spoon Awards Party, benefiting the Arthritis Foundation, was held May 13, 2026, at Huntington Bank Field (home of the worst professional sports franchise). This premier foodie event showcases signature dishes and wine pairings from top local chefs and restaurant award winners. I have done this event time and time again and have become a known part of the event, a piece of the fabric as I have at our art museum.

It Ain’t No Party, It Ain’t No Disco, It Ain’t no Foolin’ Around

I looked forward to this event on so many levels. I suffer from arthritis. Cry me no river, but it is a part of the deterioration I see in myself. Obviously, it’s the Circle of Life every single human being ever born goes through and it’s catching up to me. This is part of my decision to make 2026 a Kandi-centric year, stretching fashion and age boundaries because this soon will not be possible. So, this day, this event, I could not wait to wear THIS dress. I could not wait to wear THIS dress very publicly, in front of a few thousand people.

Same as It Ever Was

The day began, of course, with an hour in my home gym. Then the slap in the face reality of life, taking my 87-year-old mother to the doctor. Happy to do this, but this day, I needed to scold her (wrong word, but it makes the point) for having gotten scammed by a phone call which required a whole resetting of her bank account passwords, etc… (my sister handles that). And Mom knows better. Thankfully, she lost no money, just understandingly felt violated. We froze her credit on all credit bureaus (not a bad idea for anyone else in this situation, with an aging parent, they would never most likely need new credit at that stage of their life). Then a TWO-HOUR eye appointment (completely unexpected) for Mom, leaving me scrambling to get to the event. Life, ups and downs, good and bad, highs and lows, family blessings and responsibilities.

I Hate People When They’re Not Polite

All I can say is the event was tremendous. I have said this before. I get to be (most likely) the only person like me, presenting well, in a large mainstream event. Representing! I worked the registration table. With an Old Fashioned on the table next to me, one gentleman asked what I was drinking because I was clearly the happiest person there. I laughed and told him I had only taken a few sips so that happiness is just who I am. So wonderful that my joy was noticed! I was called “cute” a few times, a couple of beautifuls, many compliments on the outfit, my glasses and yes, how good I smelled (I bring out the expensive stuff for events like this). Being a longtime volunteer, being who and what I am, beaming with happiness and also being with my peeps (fellow Arthritis victims), made the entire day a tremendous gift!

Ah, watch out
You might get what you’re after
Cool babies
Strange but not a stranger
I’m an ordinary guy
Burning down the house

I was walking through the event, grinning like you see here and a woman seated at a table stopped me and told me she just wanted to tell me how cute I looked. She then asked if I preferred cute or beautiful and I told her I am grateful for the compliment and I would take cute all day!! Quite a few restauranters chatted me up and invited me to stop by. Yeah, I know, they are just trying to make a buck, but this is also how I came to find a few different places where I can walk in and feel like Norm from Cheers. One woman came up to me and told me every year the first things she looks for at this event is what glasses I am wearing. Oh my! Ironically, I wasn’t sure about the choice of glasses.

And you may ask yourself, ‘Well, how did I get here?’

Stop making sense

There’s a party in my mind, and I hope it never stops

Quick story, a day prior I went to the drug store and picked up some Aspercreme. After trying to figure out which lotion would be best, I decided to try this particular brand. Fast forward to the event and I am peeing in the ladies’ room (where I had numerous, woman-to-woman conversations) when I heard someone walk in and ask a few of the other ladies there if anyone needed Aspercreme. Ironic.

---

Psycho Killer
Qu’est-ce que c’est?
Fa-fa-fa-fa, fa-fa-fa-fa-fa-fa, better
Run, run, run, run, run, run, run away

I tell you these things not to brag. I tell you these things to paint a realistic picture of how the world REALLY is, how great people can be if you are smart, appropriate, confident and visible.

You cannot fake happiness.

You cannot create acceptance, it is earned.

---

This particular post is a Facebook reel by Julie, which I cannot post here (for technological reasons, the file is too large). Click here to see and hear Julie tell this story in her own words, in her own voice.

“As a crossdresser, I’ve had to overcome an immense amount of guilt and shame. Everything society has taught me is contrary to who I am. To this day, there is still a little voice in my head that whispers the thoughts that were so prominent in my youth. Nowadays, it stings only a little bit, as I’ve learned to dismiss those thoughts as the irrational conditioning of being brought up in a patriarchal society. A society that stigmatizes men for even the slightest exhibit of femininity. But, being out in the world, being exactly who I am, has taught me that it’s not individuals who create that stigmatization. The individual people I’ve met are generally welcoming – actually they’re mostly indifferent to my somewhat unique gender expression. The real stigmatization comes from within. It’s a residual of crossdressers and trans women being the butt of the joke in countless movies and tv shows. It’s a residual of the transphobic jokes my parents repeated and I couldn’t refute because I was in the closet with them. We all have a lifetime of these traumas.

Unpacking that trauma takes effort. It takes intention and practice. It takes representation, which is why I post and write about my journey. It’s important because without self-acceptance, nothing else is possible. The greatest barrier to doing all the things I’ve dreamed of doing has been the voice in my head. The only way to quiet that voice is to convince yourself that all of this is okay – that it’s not shameful to be a crossdresser. Without such a mindset, we’ll continue to be trapped in the cycle of euphoria followed by crushing guilt – which we all know all too well. I am living proof that this can be overcome.

Also, a big shoutout to the Jersey crew at Glamour Boutique USA Every time I hear that inspirational Bon Jovi song, I think of you folks.“

Click here for all of Julie’s social media platforms and to comment to her directly!

In closing this packed post, today is Memorial Day. We must always thank those that have served, that have put their lives on the line to protect our freedom. Say what you will these days about our country, but we still have the greatest country on the planet. And to those that gave the ultimate sacrifice, all I can say is you have my deepest gratitude as I could not walk the streets as Kandi had you not given so greatly.