The morning I couldn’t look in the mirror anymore.
I’ll never forget that Tuesday morning. I had been out of the Corps for a very long time but I kept my badass dress blue uniform. It was so gorgeous and it hung in my closet. I decided to put it on.
Standing in my bathroom, full Marine Corps uniform, medals aligned perfectly, expert rifleman badge, sergeant stripes on my sleeve, and I couldn’t meet my own eyes in the mirror.
Because the person staring back wasn’t me.
Not the REAL me.
Maybe you know that feeling. That crushing weight of wearing a mask every. single. day.
The exhaustion of monitoring every gesture, every word, every expression to make sure the “real you” doesn’t slip out.
I spent years in the Marines learning to survive hostile territory. But the most hostile territory I ever faced was my own dysphoria.
I thought about the cost of the life I wasn’t living. Sure, I lived as a guy for decades and did well. But I felt spent. Done. What was the cost of the life I was losing as my female self? It was a constant building pressure. The pressure of her trying to be set free. It was her turn to live.
This constant barrage of anxiety was confusing and really starting to show. I’d get snippy and angy for no apparent reason but I knew what it was.
Then I remembered my training.
Here’s what I learned:
You can’t out-tough gender dysphoria. You can’t positive-think your way through it. And you definitely can’t wait for it to magically disappear.
You need tactical training. Real tools. Battle-tested strategies.
That’s why I created the Dysphoria Hacks tactical transformation program that uses military precision to help you:
👉Stop dysphoria spikes in under 2 minutes
👉Execute public presentations with confidence
👉Build an unshakeable support squad
👉Create your strategic transition plan
And so much more.
This isn’t therapy. This isn’t support group sharing circles. This is tactical training for authentic living.
Stay strong, warrior.
Dr. Gwen Patrone
One Response
Gwen ,
Just a twist to the uniform story . I also had to wear a unifrom OK it was just school cadets but in the UK they were part of finding recruits for officer training in one of the armed services . The one thing it did was give you something proud to wear , to take good care of it and so take good care of yourself , some say it’s a load of BS but as humans we need to learn about respect for ourselves and others .
Now the twist ! Some women’s uniforms can be quite attractive perhaps even cute . I was looking round a local antique / bric a brac shop and came across a rack full of womens unifoms , the owner of the shop often supplied uniforms for the reinactment groups . I saw a Royal Navy WREN uniform , I couldn’t help myself to ask if I could try it on , it looked so good I could have nearly signed the enlistment documents ! One way of dealing with dysphoria !!!
I do get your message , I became so bad I almost ceased to function .Once in that black hole it’s so hard to climb out but you know you have to dig deep , so few people know only your determination can pull you through it . We are a strange mix , very vulnerable on one side and stronger than many people on the other , some days I did question how much more can my brain take ?