By Sherry Greer
This is a subject I have touched on before. The question… When was enough, enough and I finally ventured out as Sherry? As this whole gender world of exploration goes I don’t think I’m much different than most others. This all started at a very early age trying on my mom’s clothes, experimenting with makeup, wanting to look pretty but acting manly so people wouldn’t know. As I progressed through middle and high school I tried to experiment while home alone but sports took up most of my time.
When I got to college I really concentrated on school and continued to run track and competed in the Decathlon like Bruce Jenner! I was in great shape and even ran 3 miles in 16 minutes and 24 seconds. My life was full of activity for which left little time for Sherry. After graduation I married my high school sweetheart whom I am still married to (30+ years!). I still tried to dress when I could but it was still very limited. We bought a house which needed some fixing up, that kept me busy. My wife got pregnant, that definitely kept me busy. I did tell my wife about Sherry a few months after she got pregnant and even went to a gender specialist to talk about my situation. He told me “if it feels good than do it”, it didn’t feel good so I stopped doing it. My son was in sports and I helped coach on many of his teams, that kept me busy.
Fast forward about 20 years. I did still experiment from time to time but definitely when there was no chance of someone finding out. I was very much in the closet. When I turned about 48 my son was on his own and I had more time to myself. Of course those feelings came rushing back and Sherry had to get out. It took me two years to actually walk out the door. I was home on vacation and finally got the nerve to get ready and visit a beauty supply store about 30 minutes away. I cherished my time getting ready and still do. I love seeing myself in the mirror transform into a princess, it NEVER gets old!
Even though I finally ventured out this was not my tipping point. I was still very secretive and guarded. Kandi has expressed that it is extremely rare for her to see someone she knows when out but my job is very public and I literally saw someone I knew 3 out of the first 5 times I went out! My actual tipping point is twofold. The first part was when my son came to the house unexpectedly and saw me dressed. I will never forget the feeling of complete panic and how I felt my life would never be the same. I was definitely right. My relationship with my son was awkward at first but has gotten better. That event caused me to have conversations with my wife (some good, some really bad). This time was extremely trying for me and I got to the point where I was thinking about ways to not be here anymore. I am amazed on how my wife has accepted/ tolerated Sherry.
The second part came when I was working late and I was alone with a co-worker. I remember staring at my computer and just started to shake and cry. She came to me and asked what was wrong but I couldn’t speak because I was trembling too much. All I could do was get my phone out and show her a picture of Sherry. She assured me everything would be okay and she would help me. We talked a lot during the next few days and she helped me find a therapist. She has been an amazing friend. That day was when I realized that I had to live for me because the alternative was not an option. That was the day Sherry truly came out and I could look in the mirror and be happy with the reflection. I continue to evolve and get comfortable with who I am and where Sherry wants to go. I know I have developed a good support network both in person and online…thank you ladies for that!
As always…
Stay beautiful-Sherry
14 Responses
This was a wonderful post and so well encapsulates the struggles that many of us face just to be ourselves. The secrecy and the constraints it places on us can be crippling but accounts like this just prove that compassion & support can come when it’s needed most.
I love the outfit too!
Amanda,
Thanks so much for the comment! Life is hard but with love we can overcome anything ❤️❤️❤️
Stay beautiful-Sherry
Loved reading your experience. We have all been down some or all of that path. You’re beautiful, so glad you are finding peace.
Joy
Joy,
Peace and happiness is a wonderful thing 🤗.
Stay beautiful-Sherry
If you can believe it, you can achieve it!!!!
A very wise person told me that once!!
Love and Hugs – Dawn
Love you Dawnie❤️
Sherry,
What an amazing confession about a very difficult time for you. Thank you for writing this a few years back.
We have met a few times since you wrote this post and you truly have embraced your feminine side. Well done friend.
Continue to blossom.
Love,
Jocelyn
Thanks love ❤️
When will you be in town?
The struggles are real indeed, my story is different but much the same.
I wish I could have stopped I wish these fem feelings never happened but here I am today
Am I better for coming out? I’m not sure because while it wasn’t the whole reason it did end my 35 year marriage
I am glad this blog exists because we are all in this together
Sisters separated by the miles but always here to support
Hugs to you Sherry
Rachael,
Absolutely, we should all be here for each other. This blog is definitely an extremely important avenue for all of us!!
Sherry
Sherry,
Thankyou so much for your wonderful honest post .
There are so many reasons why we feel bad about our situation , we are letting our loved ones down we feel embarrassed and ashamed because they discover our secret . Yet we have to come to terms with the fact it doesn’t go away , it really is a poweful force within us that needs to express itself . I know exactly what it’s like to brake down and cry , when I finally decided to tell my wife I sobbed for some time , those tears felt like I was shedding a great load off my shoulders but of course at that time I didn’t realise I was offloading all that onto her .
I do feel most of us come to a tipping point , usually its not a single thing but many circumstances that come together . After the tipping point comes the hard part because we have to find answers to some basic questions , of course the biggest fear is can my marriage survive this ? What is the bottom line for my future what do I truthfully want to be a man or a woman ?
Everything during that period is very black and white , it’s ” EITHER – OR ” there doesn’t appear to be an inbetween solution . The problem is we never know all the answers until we try to move forward but in finding thsoe answers we may move out of their comfort zone . As you say stepping out the door becomes very public , which is something we desire but in doing so we encounter some difficult obstacles . We meet people we didn’t expect we find ourselves in situations which aren’t easy to explain but at the same time we are finding US , we are learning what makes US tick .
The bottom line is Sherry is here to stay as much as Kandi is or myself as Teresa , we are better people for accepting that but we’re not naive enough to think it doesn’t come at a price . At the end of the day if we have no regrets then it has been worth it , I personally have no regrets because I knew my life could not continue as it was .
Well said, the path is long and arduous. There is no one way, no magic formula but the finding of who we are in slow and small steps. I know I am a better person for coming out and I now smile when I see my reflection! There’s at least 35 friends that know and I have gone out with many of them!
Sherry, this is a story we can all relate to. I am going through a difficult time right now. My wife is showing no sign of tolerating my feminine side.
The desire to dress and feel that feminine energy is something I really enjoy. It is an integral part of who I am, and not being able to express my other gender is very depressing.
I am so glad you are comfortable and confident in who you are. That makes all the difference Sherry.
Thank you for sharing your story with us.
Hugs Julie
Julie,
I/We feel your pain. It’s great to have a supportive spouse. At first my wife thought I was the devil but through a lot of talking we are in a good spot and she supports my feminine need. Hopefully your wife will be supportive down the road because we all know that this doesn’t go away!
Sherry