I know it can be hard to imagine what it’s really like to be a transgender woman/man. From the outside it might look like a choice or a phase, but for us it’s a deeply personal journey most people will never have to walk — one that asks for courage most of us didn’t even know we had.
If I can be do bold as to ask you to close your eyes and imagine with me…
Imagine waking up every day in a body that doesn’t feel like home. Imagine spending thousands upon thousands — sometimes everything you have — on hormones, surgeries, voice training, laser, therapy… not because you want to, but because the ache inside only quiets when you finally start to feel like yourself.
Imagine the physical pain of procedures and recovery, layered with the quiet, constant weight of dysphoria that sits in your chest until the mirror finally begins to reflect the woman/man you’ve always known you are.
Imagine the emotional exhaustion of facing stares, criticism, questions, and the very real fear of losing jobs, family, friends, or safety… all while gently rebuilding your entire sense of self, piece by piece, in a world that doesn’t always make space for you.
It’s expensive.
It’s painful.
It’s mentally exhausting.
It’s grueling in ways that touch every part of your life — body, mind, and heart.
And yet… we keep going with a quiet, beautiful resolve that comes from the deepest love for who we truly are. Because this path is ours to walk. No one else gets to define our happiness. We do. And the joy we find on the other side — the peace, the freedom, the simple relief of finally breathing easy in our own skin — is something we’ve earned through every tear and every brave step.
If you’ve ever wondered what it’s like to be us, let me try and describe it in a concise manner from my transgender woman’s perspective…
It’s hope wrapped in courage.
Strength forged in fire.
Love for ourselves so fierce it refuses to stay hidden or tucked away because society says otherwise.
We’re people, just like you with love in our hearts, empathy in our being and a soul that screems out to simply allow us the be.
Your empathy, your willingness to listen and see us as the women/men we are — that costs you nothing, but it can mean the entire world to someone who’s fought so hard just to exist peacefully. The kind word means the so much to us in a society that oftentimes attacks us constantly. The gentle smile that says, I see you and I’m OK with who you are.
We simply want to coexist as a friend, neighbor and contributor to a better society.
Thank you for caring enough to read this. It truly matters. đź’•
Dr. Gwen Patrone
#gwenpatrone
#TransIsBeautiful #TransJourney #BeKind #SeeUs #EmpathyMatters
2 Responses
Gwen,
Thank you for the continuing support.
Your weekly posts are most encouraging and enlightening.
Keep up the great work.
Jocelyn
Gwen,
I still recall the moment when the conversation with my gender counsellor started to use the term ” TRANSGENDER ” , it felt like we were talking about a third party , it took some time to come to terms with truth of those words .
It felt like a far cry from my childhood when I had the urge to try on my sister’s clothes the feelings and sensations that I loved and loathed in equal measures , I’m not a girl so why did I feel this way when I looked like one . As we pass through teenage years and into adulthood , get married that underlying feeling never leaves you as much as you try to ignore it . In many of us the shame and guilt becomes overwhelming , we desperately need someone to talk to but dare not to fearing the total collapse of the life we have been trying to build . What do we really fear ? It’s a mixed bag , on the one hand it’s what close family and society will think causing the inner turmoil of emotions , I also think we fear ourselves because our gender has been turned on it’s head , we struggle with the disbelief of the idea .
If I had to give advice it would be be don’t turn your back on professional help , you are faced with possible life changing decisions you can’t always do it by yourself . As I’ve commented before I nearly ended my life , with professional help I worked my way out of that black hole and now live a much happier life as Teresa .