No great musical story here. The song title happened to be exactly perfect for this post.
I do love The Cars! It was fun being backstage (all-access) for their 2018 induction into the Rock Hall.
Despite a now very full workweek, I have volunteered (I will get paid either in gowns or a small amount, neither was ever my intent) to work occasionally for my friend Darla at her boutique, Darlafoxx. I will be helping as a sales associate during prom season when my schedule allows. I am over-the-moon about this. I did something similar a few years back and it was awesome. I am not a crier. I honestly wish I was, a good cry when dressed would feel amazing and heighten the female experience for me. One thing I seek when Kandi is a certain level of vulnerability. I want to wipe away the male part of me that is a grumpy old man and family protector.
I seek to be vulnerable by opening myself up, vulnerable in an old-school female sense. On a number of occasions, I wept openly when seeing a young lady in the right gown or by making incredible, loving connections with the mom (or aunt, or whomever) accompanying the young lady. It is a visceral reaction. I could watch a girl try on gown after gown, then she walks out in the right one and the waterworks start! It is a feeling I am truly craving again.
January 30, 2026 was supposed to be another of my well-earned IDGAF Fridays. I had just endured a brutal 15 hour day which started at midnight, making deliveries to post office in the Chautauqua area of New York. Frigid temps, snow covered state routes, five deliveries. Each delivery required horribly difficult docking, with snow covered parking lots and space diminished by piles of plowed snow. Once I was able to get docked, I had to navigate unloading on post office docks covered by snow, trying my best not to fall and kill myself (hyperbolic, but not all that much). Without boring you any further, I also made my first delivery mistake which required me to double back and make a sixth delivery. I am not here to bitch and moan, just to show the reality of my “glamourous” life. I want the reader to know reality, to know my life isn’t all the Kandi pics you see here. I work my tail off to earn those days.
When I woke up after sleeping off both that day as well as the cocktails I knowingly downed to just numb myself (I am still furious at myself for that f’ up), I saw the morning temperature on the thermometer. -9! That is minus 9, or a negative 9! COLD! So I cleared the driveway and decided I would not go out this day. I had two more outings to follow that weekend, so why push myself. Just stay inside and do some outfit planning! You probably have already now read about my January 31, 2026 outing, so let’s flip the page one day forward.
February 1, 2026, this girl got back to work! Exactly what I needed!!
NOTHING better than two cuter that cute outfits within a 36-hour time span (my Prince outfit the day prior). This is absolutely my superpower; I can dress myself (if you cut my head off) to draw tremendous admiration. I know how to put clothes on this hangar.
OMG was this a wonderful day! Three plus hours being a girl! A girl in the truest sense of the word. Spending the afternoon in a bridal/formal wear boutique. Welcoming ladies there, Mom and daughter, to shop for a prom dress. Being included in dress selection. Offering comments and advice. Gathering dresses, starting a fitting room, hanging dresses, just bliss. One patron, Mom and daughter, thanked me for my input. The young lady in the drive to the boutique and told her mom that she knew she didn’t want a yellow or a strapless dress. Guess what they bought? And yep, the waterworks flowed for me.
At one point in time, we had two girls in the fitting room, and their moms were sitting there. I walked up and said, as “Tom Petty once sang, The Waiting is The Hardest Part”. While I dated myself, they loved it!
Okay, the highlight was my fitting for an upcoming bridal show which I am walking!!!! How’d we do? I got to try on three gowns, this was the winner (based on many things, including fit). Just wait until HMU and the proper foundation garments on show day!!
Last little story, stopped at a favorite liquor store on my way home. The young lady working there is always so sweet! She gushed about my nail color and bracelet. I told her I always love being as girly as I can. I gave her a very, look in her eyes, thank you. I am one extremely lucky girl, just what I needed!
Another “Just What I Needed” moment: I recently received the following (redacted for privacy purposes) private message:
Kandi,
Just a short note of thanks, I discovered your site and have been rivetted by its content, especially the writing of Amanda J. and her "matrimonial challenges" series. I recognise a good chunk of the journeys of all the ladies on here and am slowly coming to the realisation that I am most certainly not alone!!
I am blessed with a wife that allows my clothes and shoes to live in our bedroom, who lets me dress and sit with her and is sometimes disappointed to find me in "boy" pants!! I live in constant fear of my daughters (both have left home) finding out, especially now that my dresses are in MY wardrobe (closet).
Thank you for curating a lovely site, it is a blessing to all like-minded folk.
Regards
XXX
