No great musical story here. The song title happened to be exactly perfect for this post.
I do love The Cars! It was fun being backstage (all-access) for their 2018 induction into the Rock Hall.
Despite a now very full workweek, I have volunteered (I will get paid either in gowns or a small amount, neither was ever my intent) to work occasionally for my friend Darla at her boutique, Darlafoxx. I will be helping as a sales associate during prom season when my schedule allows. I am over-the-moon about this. I did something similar a few years back and it was awesome. I am not a crier. I honestly wish I was, a good cry when dressed would feel amazing and heighten the female experience for me. One thing I seek when Kandi is a certain level of vulnerability. I want to wipe away the male part of me that is a grumpy old man and family protector.
I seek to be vulnerable by opening myself up, vulnerable in an old-school female sense. On a number of occasions, I wept openly when seeing a young lady in the right gown or by making incredible, loving connections with the mom (or aunt, or whomever) accompanying the young lady. It is a visceral reaction. I could watch a girl try on gown after gown, then she walks out in the right one and the waterworks start! It is a feeling I am truly craving again.
January 30, 2026 was supposed to be another of my well-earned IDGAF Fridays. I had just endured a brutal 15 hour day which started at midnight, making deliveries to post office in the Chautauqua area of New York. Frigid temps, snow covered state routes, five deliveries. Each delivery required horribly difficult docking, with snow covered parking lots and space diminished by piles of plowed snow. Once I was able to get docked, I had to navigate unloading on post office docks covered by snow, trying my best not to fall and kill myself (hyperbolic, but not all that much). Without boring you any further, I also made my first delivery mistake which required me to double back and make a sixth delivery. I am not here to bitch and moan, just to show the reality of my “glamourous” life. I want the reader to know reality, to know my life isn’t all the Kandi pics you see here. I work my tail off to earn those days.
When I woke up after sleeping off both that day as well as the cocktails I knowingly downed to just numb myself (I am still furious at myself for that f’ up), I saw the morning temperature on the thermometer. -9! That is minus 9, or a negative 9! COLD! So I cleared the driveway and decided I would not go out this day. I had two more outings to follow that weekend, so why push myself. Just stay inside and do some outfit planning! You probably have already now read about my January 31, 2026 outing, so let’s flip the page one day forward.
February 1, 2026, this girl got back to work! Exactly what I needed!!
NOTHING better than two cuter that cute outfits within a 36-hour time span (my Prince outfit the day prior). This is absolutely my superpower; I can dress myself (if you cut my head off) to draw tremendous admiration. I know how to put clothes on this hangar.
OMG was this a wonderful day! Three plus hours being a girl! A girl in the truest sense of the word. Spending the afternoon in a bridal/formal wear boutique. Welcoming ladies there, Mom and daughter, to shop for a prom dress. Being included in dress selection. Offering comments and advice. Gathering dresses, starting a fitting room, hanging dresses, just bliss. One patron, Mom and daughter, thanked me for my input. The young lady in the drive to the boutique and told her mom that she knew she didn’t want a yellow or a strapless dress. Guess what they bought? And yep, the waterworks flowed for me.
At one point in time, we had two girls in the fitting room, and their moms were sitting there. I walked up and said, as “Tom Petty once sang, The Waiting is The Hardest Part”. While I dated myself, they loved it!
Okay, the highlight was my fitting for an upcoming bridal show which I am walking!!!! How’d we do? I got to try on three gowns, this was the winner (based on many things, including fit). Just wait until HMU and the proper foundation garments on show day!!
Last little story, stopped at a favorite liquor store on my way home. The young lady working there is always so sweet! She gushed about my nail color and bracelet. I told her I always love being as girly as I can. I gave her a very, look in her eyes, thank you. I am one extremely lucky girl, just what I needed!
Another “Just What I Needed” moment: I recently received the following (redacted for privacy purposes) private message:
Kandi,
Just a short note of thanks, I discovered your site and have been rivetted by its content, especially the writing of Amanda J. and her "matrimonial challenges" series. I recognise a good chunk of the journeys of all the ladies on here and am slowly coming to the realisation that I am most certainly not alone!!
I am blessed with a wife that allows my clothes and shoes to live in our bedroom, who lets me dress and sit with her and is sometimes disappointed to find me in "boy" pants!! I live in constant fear of my daughters (both have left home) finding out, especially now that my dresses are in MY wardrobe (closet).
Thank you for curating a lovely site, it is a blessing to all like-minded folk.
Regards
XXX
11 Responses
Kandi, I love the green dress, it looks wonderful. Your time in that bastion of femininity is always fun to read about.
😘
Kandi, I have mixed emotions. Part of me just wants to say, “Stop it, big sister, just stop it already! Do you know how hard it is to watch you from the sidelines?!” Another part of me thinks, ” Oh, I do want to be like Kandi someday.”
Kandi, I don’t think I will ever achieve your level of presentation perfection, confidence, and feminine assurance. You set the bar high, but that’s OK. We need that if we ever hope to make a positive impact as the woman we are or are compelled to present as.
That you do so beyond admirably is evidence by the fact that you do so and are accepted in a situation that is so decidedly and distinctly female as mother – daughter gown fitting.
It seems you have achieved exactly what I dream of achieving; relating to others and being related to by others simply as the woman I am at heart.
Thanks for sharing.
Hugs,
Charlene
Char,
You are a doll! I cannot properly articulate how easy this is for me. That’s me, not anyone else.
I don’t even think twice about going anywhere and am fortunate my instincts are almost always spot on.
If you want, I could stop for a while…
😊
Kandi girl, YOU are something else. In this “Cult of the Crossdressers” universe that we live in, you are one of the superheroes. How could anyone read your adventures and not come away smiling? To go from a truck driver to an employee in a bridal boutique in the space of a day is quite something. And of course, being among the wedding dresses, why not try one on? If not you, then who???🥰
I sound like a broken record. Your ability to weave tales together coherently so they’re interesting for the reader is quite masterful. And the addition of pictures with these Kandi’s adventure tales – is an added bonus that takes us right there with you. Your pictures are always appreciated. (Where’s that pic of you driving the rig girlfriend?🤣)
I belong to a Toastmasters Public Speaking Club in California and this “speech” you wrote would bring the house down. In a GOOD way, as I know my group there would LOVE you…❤️
You always conclude your tales with an end around that takes us back to your original point. That’s a talent that not everyone has. It has to be practiced and honed to keep good at it and this site is your perfect vehicle for doing so.
I also appreciate how you sprinkle comments of “This is me doing me” – throughout your presentations. Emphasizing to girls that this really is “next level” stuff. It would be easy for a novice to stumble upon here, read a few stories and see a few pics and think: “Oh, I’m in WAY over my head to even think that I could be a part of all this.” It is important to remind folks, hey, Kandi is truly one of the lighthouses in the pink fog. That’s an elite group. However, there are also plenty of boats in the harbor you cannot see. You do a good job of that in your stories. So don’t stop.
I’ll wrap up now. The wedding dress pics. Ya know, you’d think as a dedicated t-girl that I’d be more in tune with wedding dresses. But I’m not. They all seem to blend together for me. But I did notice that one you’re wearing. Fabulous. The design of it is outstanding. If I had a granddaughter getting married – I’d love to get her that one. I get a real pleasure too, looking at you at thinking – “That’s a guy rocking that dress!” Kandi Robbins, the belle of the ball, star of the show, my sister of swagger….as usual!😊 While me and Amanda J would be there too, over to the side next to the punchbowl, having some intimate girly chat and taking in the whole scene. From OUR comfort zones. All good stuff! And just what I needed to go with my morning coffee.☕️❤️
Thank you Gracey!! Two points for me. I love writing more than anything (including my Kandi time) outside of family, on the planet. I only wish I were a writer and not a truck driver…
But I am what I am. I always say “it’s me” for one reason. No, it’s not because I am anything close to next level. It is because we all have our own complete set of personal circumstances which may or may not allow for an ease of navigating the world en fem. Body type, makeup skills, clothing selection, where you are, who is around you, time of day, spousal acceptance, personal comfort level, on and on and on. Everything factors into getting out there.
It pleases me that you and a few others have actively joined the community here, adding depth to what we do.
🩷
You’re completely right KR and it’s something that I’m definitely guilty of forgetting…a lot. Not everyone has understanding spouses and the time to pursue our feminine chases when the urge strikes. Being retired brings this whole thing to the next level for me.
I’m certain there has to be a few strong Toastmasters groups where you live. You may want to look into them…they would seriously love a crossdressing member with your skills. They’re open to all comers and always welcome members who are different.
😊
You look amazing in the green dress, very professional
I love the wedding dress too so amazing
Have a blessed week
😘
Kandi, I love your feminine look, so natural. Your confidence in who you are is something I strive to emulate. I have gained so much confidence in my feminine presence, and I love being out in the community. I just wish I had an understanding spouse, that would make my opportunity to dress more common experience.
The green dress with the white cardigan is a perfect match. Wearing that wedding would be a dream come true for me. You look breathtaking in that wedding gown Kandi. Love reading about your wonderful excursions out. Girl you make my day, thank you so much.
Love Julie