I’m writing this from a sunny cruise to Mexico, where the ocean breeze and endless horizons have me reflecting on connection in the most unexpected places – like hot tub chats with folks from all walks of life.
As someone who’s transgender, proudly embracing my journey from male to female with all the curves, strength, and beauty that come with it, I often end up sharing my story. People are curious; they want to understand where I’m coming from, and it’s led to some eye-opening moments.
Just yesterday, a guy in his 60s turned to me and said, “You know, this is the first time I’ve ever met someone like you, let alone heard their point of view.” That word “heard” stuck with me – it’s the whole point.
We often hear through our own biases, but do we truly listen with compassion and an open heart to understand? I’ve had so many of these conversations here, with a spectrum of people, and even when we don’t end up agreeing, something shifts. A bridge gets built, one built on respect and shared humanity.
If I’m being honest, and I always am, the most hate I’ve received isn’t from those who aren’t transgender, but from my own people who don’t see eye-to-eye with any mumber of topics.
This leads me further in my post…
I’ve been thinking a lot about how divided we can feel in this world, especially around who we are and how we see life.
Being trans isn’t the sum of me; it’s just one vibrant thread in the tapestry of my self. I’m a force—a warrior, a dreamer, a lover, a neighbor ~ who defies labels and embraces every facet of my essence.
On one side, there are those like me who hold more traditional values, cherishing things like personal responsibility, family roots, and the freedom to live authentically without labels defining everything.
On the other, there are those passionate about progress, equality, and challenging norms to make space for everyone, no matter their story.
But here’s what I’ve learned: We’re all just humans trying to navigate a complicated world. The conservative-leaning among us might value stability and timeless principles because they’ve seen how they provide a foundation in tough times – it’s about protecting what works and honoring hard-earned wisdom.
Meanwhile, those pushing for change often come from a place of deep care, wanting to lift up voices that have been silenced and create a kinder society for the next generation. Both sides are rooted in love, fear of loss, and a desire for a better tomorrow, even if it shows up differently.
I get it – it’s easy to react with frustration when someone doesn’t see eye-to-eye. But what if we paused and asked, “What’s your story? What shaped your heart on this?” Instead of assuming the worst, we could respond with curiosity: “I hear you value tradition because it gave you security – tell me more.” Or, “Your passion for change comes from wanting fairness for all – how can we find ways that honor that without erasing what’s good?”
Being trans and conservative puts me in a unique spot, feeling like a bridge between worlds. It’s taught me that understanding doesn’t mean agreeing, but it does mean respecting the humanity in each other.
Let’s try mending instead of dividing – share a kind word, listen without judgment, and remember we’re all in this together.
What’s one thing you’ve learned from someone different from you? I’d love to hear.
With love and hope,
Dr. Gwen Patrone💋
4 Responses
Gwen,
I’d like to take up the point about most reactions good or bad coming from our own community . Personally I’ve been hurt far more from inside the transgender circle , apparent good friends often have hidden agendas . In the past I’ve been put down , bullied and groomed by people , I admit I was very open and possibly naive at times , all I wanted was to find and be Teresa , sadly I learned some people feed on another person’s weaknesses .
As for openly talking to people about transgender issues and where I fitted in they very quickly stopped happening when I went full time and stepped away from the transgender community .At first I did feel I was letting them down but my life had to evolve in a different way when I realised I was being totally accepted as Teresa . I truthfully admit I never expected that to happen , I was prepared to go out in the RW and explain myself but no one has ever asked over the last eight years .
Nice article and nice to hear about girls in our community who lean conservative. Something I always think when I read posts like this one is – why do “Trans” people lead with that every time they write something? I don’t lead with “I’m hetero”. I would never even consider it. But I read a lot from trans individuals in this broad community and it’s always right there in the body of their article or post or whatever. “I’m Trans”. Ok. Seems to me they’re making it the main issue from the get. Which is weird to me since “Trans” doesn’t even have one single, universal definition that everyone agrees upon. And I know many tolerant friends and acquaintances who always say “I’m okay with whatever people do, just don’t get in my face with it.” I feel by putting that out there first and foremost causes many people to lose interest really quickly.
Grace ,
It’s something we don’t usually mention in the UK because ” Conservative ” is a political party name , the alternative is the ” Labour ” party . There are others but most general elections are fought between these two main parties . ” Conservative ” is the old party basically representing wealth and ” Labour ” was the party for the working man , backed by the trade unions . Like most modern politics the lines are very blurred now , not very ” Left ” and not too far ” Right ” so we usually end up with a compromise of something in the middle . I normally choose to vote ” Conservative ” because I prefer their policies but like most we never agree on every action they take . As a joke I asked the vote clerk if ” Ben ” the Black Labrador ” was on the polling list because he would definitey get my vote !!
As for adding ” I’m trans ” in every sentence I haven’t used that term in the RW for many years , it’s just sufficient and very normal now to use my name . I’m also heterosexual but again I’ve never had to express my sexuality .
The problem with using too many names is people lose interest because they are confused , that is a lesson the community needs to learn if they are to gain widespread acceptance .
Gwen,
I totally agree: let’s try mending instead of dividing. Well said.
You, in a bikini, in a hot tube, is definitely a conversation starter. WOW!
Jocelyn