HOW I OVERCAME MY FEMME FEAR
I’ve written in the past how it took me a long time to feel comfortable going out in public as Gwen.
The squirrels would run in my head…
✅️What would people think?
✅️What if they laugh at me?
✅️What if someone recognizes me?
✅️What if someone gets aggressive (in a bad way)?
✅️What if someone gets aggressive (in a sexual way)?
✅️What if, What if, What if…
I WAS FROZEN STIFF🥶
I’d literally get dressed and ready to go out and stare at the door knob of my apartment.
I’d be afraid to touch it like it was a tazer or something.
Have you felt the same or similarly?
I’ve written about fear alot over the years and I understand it intellectually. Conquering it by putting my teaching into action is much more difficult but do it, I did.
Here’s one way to overcome anxiety and fear.
Repetition made me numb to the fear.
I learned to overcome my femme fear through repetition. Consistent practice increased my chances for walking out my door, then pressing the elevator button, then walking out of my building and so on. Through repetition, I turned individual acts into positive habits.
Accomplishing anything worthwhile requires time and effort so I must develop my patience muscle as well.
My practice (dry run) sessions were strategic because I assessed my feelings and congratulated myself for going further and noticed how my anxiety meter had been lower.
“Hmmm, this was pretty cool”, I thought.
I can identify many areas of my life where I want to make progress and then focus my “repetition technique” there. I then applied my repetition sessions and expanded my comfort zone in many areas. A great side benefit is I added confidence that I can apply in all areas of my life.
Let me write that again because it’s so important.
I realized I could apply this repetition technique to ANY aspect of my life.
No longer did I have to say to myself, “I’m not doing that because I don’t feel comfortable”.
“DIS”-comfort is simply like “DIS”-ease. It doesn’t have to remain that way.
When it comes to my health, I establish a daily routine that protects my physical and mental wellbeing. I go to bed and rise at about the same time each day. I try foods I’d never normally try. I’m on a huge veggie (vegan) kick actually. Thanks to Julie Zeiger and Arnold for that! I walk and jog each morning before I sit and think about what I’m going to write about.
Thus, I eventually made it outside and I’m quite comfortable out-and-about these days. It’s no big deal. However, if I’d given in to my fear because “I wasn’t comfortable”, I’d still be a homebound cross dresser.
Are you a parent? Children often need to hear the same messages over and over again before they sink in. You can apply this technique for teaching them skills you deem important for them to know.
Remember why repetition is worthwhile. Even water dripping on a stone, the stone eventually gives way. Practice reinforces knowledge, confidence and your skillset.
I hope this teaching is of benefit to you.
Be Strong. 💪
#TransPreneur “Entrepreneurship. Evolved.”
Check out the new I’m Published! page!
YOU NEVER CEASE TO AMAZE ME WITH YOUR ACCOMPLISHMENTS. I HAVE HAD THREE BOOKS PUBLISHED BUT BEING PUBLISHED IN YOUR WEDDING VENUE MUST HAVE BEEN FANTASTIC, THRILLING AND PROVIDED ANOTHER HIGHPOINT ON YOUR “BEING A GIRL” SCALE. AM SURE MANY OF US WOULD LOVE TO ACHIEVE ANYTHING NEAR THAT PLATEAU OF JOY.
Thank you Marie, you are very sweet! I am just very fortunate to have such wonderful friends. Without them, none of this happens.
Gwen, no doubt the fear of being out in the real world dressed as a women can bring so many fears and anxieties for sure, I remember that fear as well. Many of those thoughts you mention ran through my mind
It’s now however second nature when I go out, I just pick out something to wear do my makeup, check the mirror and off I go
Kandi says it best just be smart and appropriate and it’s very likely to go well
Yes it really works. I call it DOMESTICATING THE FEAR. It may take some te but otherwise oh so worth it.