By our Saturday pillar
When you start to ponder all the ways you might want to tweak or transform yourself, it’s super common to get caught up in the physical changes—the aesthetic stuff.
But let’s be real: changing your appearance is the low-hanging fruit. The real triumph? Changing how you think.
In my book, Trans Truth, Your Journey to Completeness, I dive deep into the significance of developing your mind and getting your mind and body in sync. It’s not just about shifting from one gender expression to another; it’s about nurturing and growing our minds to truly enrich our lives and those around us.
We focus so much on exterior aesthetics, and neglect our interior aesthetics.
Now, embracing our feminine side doesn’t mean we’ll fully experience everything typically associated with womanhood. But here’s the thing: our journey isn’t just about moving from male to female or female to male; it’s about how we can cultivate the parts of our femininity that genuinely uplift others as well.
Aspects of ourselves like kindness, empathy, charity, gratitude and more. It might sound a bit out there to some, but being kind and practicing true tolerance isn’t just a nice gesture—it’s crucial for our survival in the gender fluid community.
It’s in vogue now to only hang with those we 100% agree with. The tribe that chants diversity and tolerance should also include diversity of thought. We’re a much stronger tribe if we do this.
By supporting those in our community of which we have occasional disagreements with, we not only counteract the negativity from critics but also tap into the nurturing aspect of our feminine selves and become a true tapestry of which we say we want.
Our strength now becomes from the stronger weave that holds us together. Yes, rocking a stunning outfit at a club is fantastic, but if we ignore the needs of a all gender fluid persons, not just a few, on our way there, are we really living our best life?
Part of embracing our femininity involves opening our hearts and minds just as much as expressing our style. This nurturing trait is a big deal—it goes way beyond the thrill of sporting those lovely lace panties.
If we extend a helping hand and embrace true diversity, as we stride forward, we all benefit hugely. And when naysayers throw shade, just remember: being your amazing self, especially decked out in fabulous undies and a stylish club outfit, is the ultimate rebuttal.
You’re not just making a statement with your look—you’re also with your mind. And believe me, that feels incredible. Be Strong.
Dr. Gwen Patrone
Trans Truth: Your Journey To Completeness can be found on Amazon (click the link here to help Kandi’s Land).
4 Responses
Over the years I have read many different stories of other’s feelings about their femme side. I’m 75 and needless to say the world has changed a lot in my lifetime.
When I was 12 or younger I realized I was different. I also felt that I couldn’t tell anyone about it.
I remember going to the library as a teenager and reading about different treatments for my condition. I remember being so afraid of being put in a mental hospital. I knew I couldn’t tell anyone.
Today the world is changed and will continue to change. When I first met someone just like me it changed me. The world is not perfect but it is better in some ways.
I realized my feminine side at 13. Like you, I knew I was different but I knew I couldn’t tell anyone. There was denial and coping. This was in the 80’s for me. People before the internet had it rough compared to Gen Z today with the available resources.
-Christina
Gwen,
Aligning mind and body has to happen if we are to be comfortable with presenting female , can one happen without the other ? certainly for me it can’t . Basically we are talking about dealing with dysphoria , when we seek professional help that is usually their aim .
I agree we do tend to be attracted to similar groups , certainly as we get older we may look for less confrontation and seek out like minded people . Eventually you realise the only outcome from standing on your soapbox is you end up with a sore throat , with age you become more aware how repetitive life is , politicians and the rest promise you the same old thing . We only have to look at the changing attitudes to the transgender community , from a start of hardly daring to show our faces to a gradual acceptance and now the tide is turning back , long term I’m sure it will always be an ebb and flow depending on the type of government of the day .
I consider myself very lucky to live in a country where I can truly be me , I always thought I’d be a big drum beater for our community but I feel I’ve achieved far more for them by just being me and gaining acceptance by gradually intregrating into society , in a much quiter way I’ve shown we aren’t a threat to them .
I also agree that somedays it is harder so the only way is to find that inner strength and belief .
That is a wonderful insight. And it includes everyone. Quite selfish in fact to make your femininity or whatever identity you claim always and only about yourself. I think kindness, compassion and love are the most wonderful feminine traits.