Our wonderful collection of Contributors, when they post, seem to stir up quite a bit of interest and conversation. That pleases me in that my view of how our community could work is becoming a reality.
So allow me to throw this out there. If you have a question that you would like a Contributor to answer, jump over to the Contact page and send me the question. I know I don’t need to ask our readers to be courteous, but I will not pass on any inappropriate questions. Ask. I will forward it to them and post their responses, if they chose to respond. Let’s keep the conversation going!
Now today’s brief post……
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This is a rerun of an old post, but germane to any new girl dropping by for the first time.
One reality I face when out as Kandi is that I am very put together. There are concessions I have to make as a male in order to present as a female. For example, when dressed, I cannot comfortably touch my face. I wear (obviously) more makeup than the average woman. So I really cannot blow my nose easily (and I often have that need). When eating out dressed, I have to be selective about what I eat since I really cannot wipe my face well with a napkin for fear of wiping off a part of my foundation (lipstick I can replace, my foundation/beard cover is a different story). I generally select food eaten in small bites with a fork. So things like burgers and sandwiches are out.
Recently a friend wanted to give me a kiss (relax, it was a gesture of kindness). I pulled away a bit and ended up leaving a lipstick mark on her nose.
I, of course, wear a bra (and am happy to do so). However, since I have no actual breasts (although I do okay with what I have to work with), there is nothing anchoring my bra in place. As a result, I am cautious of my movements. Too many movements and my bra moves, my forms float around, sometimes requiring a quick trip to the ladies room for an adjustment. Until I learned better, I had adopted the double bra strategy. The first acting as my “breasts”, the second serving the function of the bra, anchoring things. It has changed my life…..okay, made things better for me.
Being a lady, I’ll select my words cautiously, but my plumbing is different that most women. That can create issues and or brief uncomfortable situations. I tend to hold things longer than I ordinarily might, causing difficulty going when able. The residual effect of this has carried over into the non-Kandi portion of my life. Peeing, once a free and easy process, has become work.
I wear a wig, which generates its own set of challenges. Shopping can be a challenge. If I want to go shopping and try things on, I have to make sure my outfit allows easy removal and replacement, making sure I don’t get makeup all over the clothes I am wearing or trying on. I sometime need to remove my wig (in the fitting room) to properly get into the clothing I am trying on.
I am not complaining. I am just stating some of the realities of being me. All of these concessions to my presentation are required to maintain my gender balance. Sure I could do this, that or the other thing, but that would push me further down a road I am not currently looking to travel.