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A new feature idea and a little post for the day.

Our wonderful collection of Contributors, when they post, seem to stir up quite a bit of interest and conversation. That pleases me in that my view of how our community could work is becoming a reality.

So allow me to throw this out there. If you have a question that you would like a Contributor to answer, jump over to the Contact page and send me the question. I know I don’t need to ask our readers to be courteous, but I will not pass on any inappropriate questions. Ask. I will forward it to them and post their responses, if they chose to respond. Let’s keep the conversation going!

Now today’s brief post……

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Put Together

This is a rerun of an old post, but germane to any new girl dropping by for the first time.

One reality I face when out as Kandi is that I am very put together.  There are concessions I have to make as a male in order to present as a female.  For example, when dressed, I cannot comfortably touch my face.  I wear (obviously) more makeup than the average woman.  So I really cannot blow my nose easily (and I often have that need).  When eating out dressed, I have to be selective about what I eat since I really cannot wipe my face well with a napkin for fear of wiping off a part of my foundation (lipstick I can replace, my foundation/beard cover is a different story).  I generally select food eaten in small bites with a fork.  So things like burgers and sandwiches are out.

Recently a friend wanted to give me a kiss (relax, it was a gesture of kindness). I pulled away a bit and ended up leaving a lipstick mark on her nose.

I, of course, wear a bra (and am happy to do so).  However, since I have no actual breasts (although I do okay with what I have to work with), there is nothing anchoring my bra in place.  As a result, I am cautious of my movements.  Too many movements and my bra moves, my forms float around, sometimes requiring a quick trip to the ladies room for an adjustment. Until I learned better, I had adopted the double bra strategy. The first acting as my “breasts”, the second serving the function of the bra, anchoring things. It has changed my life…..okay, made things better for me.

Being a lady, I’ll select my words cautiously, but my plumbing is different that most women.  That can create issues and or brief uncomfortable situations.  I tend to hold things longer than I ordinarily might, causing difficulty going when able. The residual effect of this has carried over into the non-Kandi portion of my life. Peeing, once a free and easy process, has become work.

I wear a wig, which generates its own set of challenges.  Shopping can be a challenge.  If I want to go shopping and try things on, I have to make sure my outfit allows easy removal and replacement, making sure I don’t get makeup all over the clothes I am wearing or trying on.  I sometime need to remove my wig (in the fitting room) to properly get into the clothing I am trying on.

I am not complaining.  I am just stating some of the realities of being me.  All of these concessions to my presentation are required to maintain my gender balance.  Sure I could do this, that or the other thing, but that would push me further down a road I am not currently looking to travel.


9 Responses

  1. Great idea.
    I can tell them all about legs, shoes and skirts/dresses! Oh, I’ve already done that, lol.


  2. Kandi,
    You touch on some interesting problems which we have had to learn to resolve , I hope they ecourage readers to consider their own situations and the problems they haven’t yet experienced .

    So how do we deal with some of the problems you raise ? I wear makeup all day , everyday and with that comes the problems of coughing and sneezing , eating and drinking and at time intimate contact . A good concealer is a must as it’s usually more resilient than foundation and I find finishing powder fixes the layers underneath . I always use a lip pencil to colour my lips before applying lipstick , I find no matter what I eat or drink there is always a base colour . Only today I had to visit my dentist today for some minor dental work , it wasn’t my usual dentist and he was much heavier handed so my makeup and lipstick did need some repair work afterwards .
    Bra sizing is important , Ok it depends how much you have naturally and how much you might choose to enhance what you have . My forms sit snugly at the base of the bra under my natural parts so I get very little movement to give me problems . I never tape anything even when wearing braless dresses .
    If I plan a shopping trip I keep things simple by wearing a skirt and a button up blouse , so not too much has to be pulled over my head but saying that I have lost my wig once while being helped by a SA , I agree on occasions it’s easier to pop the wig off .
    As for the plumbing department well I normally have to have a comfort stop as soon as I enter the shop and usually when I leave , control panties on top of normal ones keep things in order but at the same time make the pee break easy .

    The obvious statement is guys have it easy compared to women but I’d sooner swap girly stories rather than macho ones because I love being Teresa too much !

    1. Going out, being ourselves like any other woman, is a tremendous high. It is also a lot of work to do so well. Your comments, my essays on things like the actual logistics associated with a proper presentation hopefully help that newest sister out there. Thanks Teresa!

  3. I know what you mean about “wig challenges”. Last year I was in Macy’s on a Saturday and it was crowded with lines at every fitting room. I really wanted to try on a certain dress and eventually got into a cubicle where the walls and door did not reach all the way to the floor. Put the dress on but it was way too tight resulting in me twisting, turning & fighting to get the darn thing off. Finally gave it one last big tug forgetting I had a wig on and said wig went flying along the floor out under the door into the hallway. Hearing the giggles from the women on line I knew I couldn’t open the door wigless to retrieve it so I bent down, still in bra & panties, stretched as far as I could and just managed to grab it which resulted in even more giggles. Needless to say I got a bunch of very amused looks as I walked out.

    1. Fiona,
      I really had to smile at your problems with a tight dress . It brought to mind an incident in a charity shop when I tried on a tightish sequined dress . You can bet your life that if you twist and turn to get into it , it’s going to be much harder escaping from it ! Afterwards at the checkout desk I asked the SA what they did if someone did get stuck , ” her reply was , ” Oh ! that’s easy we just call the fire brigade !!!” several customers overheard and started to chuckle .

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