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All Dressed Up With Nowhere To Go

A genius idea...

By Teresa H.

Today I needed to check out new bedding for my redecorated bedroom in a large out of town store. I found something suitable in the bedding department and headed downstairs intending to go straight home, then I remembered a 20% voucher in my handbag so I took a quick look round the clothing section. In the UK we have a brand called Klass with more budget items called Anna Rose. I was looking at a nice top marked M, so I asked a SA to confirm M usually means UK size 14 but some retailers also suggest 16. She was really helpful in showing me suitable skirts and trousers to go with the top. Our conversation flowed into the lovely range of items in the Klass range and how much she had bought because of her staff discounts. She stopped for a moment so I interrupted by saying, “when are you going to wear them?” So she said, “Precisely I have a wardrobe full of lovely clothes but being a widow I don’t get many chances to dress up”. She smiled then added, “but after five years I’m going to Turkey for a week with a good friend” . So I thought for a moment and said , “You know what we need, an all dressed up and nowhere to go club!” She smiled and said, “That’s a brilliant idea”, and with that she called a couple of SAs over and told them. I was really looking for a lightweight summer jacket so I left them chattering over the idea. After a few minutes searching I found a smart, neat semi-waterproof one in white and popped it on to show them, they thought it looked great then added that I also needed something a little smarter for when we start the club! I wished the lady all the best for her holiday and headed for the checkout desk.

On my way home I couldn’t help smiling at the irony of the situation, so many CDers/transgender people are stuck in the closet all dressed up and nowhere to go. On the other hand I’ve heard so many women complain about the same problem of having a wardrobe bulging with lovely clothes with very few chances to enjoy wearing them.

The leading question is do I pursue the idea not within the transgender community but with GGs, obviously the need is there.

I could add a postscript to this story concerning trips out with GGs. Carol who sits next to me in my painting group was telling about a trip her WI group had taken with a local bus company to the Norfolk Broads. The problem is the bus company has a minimum number restriction so would I be interested if they needed to make the numbers up in the future? I told her I would be delighted. Well it was a twist I never expected.

Editorial comment: This is indeed a great idea! Maybe set something up on As you know, I am done herding the cats, but maybe someone who, let’s say is retired, could step away from a life of leisure and create something like this. If only I knew someone like that…..

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A personal health update: NO CANCER! Thank each and every one of you that kept me in your thoughts and prayers, and to those that contacted me directly. The love here is amazing! I will be on meds to help mitigate the things that lead to the need for a biopsy. The doctor said about 40% of those rated a 4 in 5 chances (as I was) end up being cancer free. So I had an 8% chance of this diagnosis, hallelujah!


13 Responses

  1. Great story… Yes Kandi, if you knew someone like that, that would be wonderful! A Meetup group that accepts everyone, since I’ve gotten kicked out of two for being me, would be great! Let me contemplate this idea…

  2. Teresa,

    It is indeed a problem. London can help with the dress up problem, because I found I could pretend to go to Christmas parties at some of the most elegant hotels and I blended in with the merry-makers. I also signed up to attend charity balls, although an expensive hobby(!), and I would dress up for West End (the other side of the pond version of Broadway) productions that had a suitably elegant theme. You will find other ladies who use the same excuse. Finally, certain events scream “dress up,” such as the Royal Ascot (with its dress codes — I was once overdressed because my seats were less expensive and was told to find something to “dress down” my outfit!). I do fret that my examples are rather expensive and therefore suitable on a regular basis only for someone with plenty saved up, but perhaps the examples will generate other ideas for your readers. For my part, I am already thinking of whether I can organize at least one dress-up social with a couple of GG girlfriends. Christmas is a long way off but is the perfect occasion (New Year’s too).

    Thank you for your post.


  3. I apologise if my post confused people but my idea was intended for GGs in that situation hence my conversation with the sales lady who was widowed .

    I have to admit I have had some wonderful Xmas parties with trans social groups the bonus being they were all open parties so we mixed with company or works parties . We’ve also held Ascot Day parties , with lovely outfits and hats . I admit not actually at Ascot but you never know in the future .

    GGs will love you to organise a Xmas party , so don’t hestitate just go for it and it’s not too early to book some venues . I found I danced with most of the girls while the husbands and partners propped up the bar . Towards the end of one of the evenings one of the husbands ( with perhaps too much to drink ) decided he would do the rounds with a sprig of mistletoe , it’s the first time I’d been kissed by a guy !! Not sure about his beard . His wife was creased up laughing because she knew he hadn’t realised he’d kissed many crossdressed guys .

  4. Teresa, that was a great idea. GGs enjoy getting dolled up just as much as those of us who have released our feminine selves later in life and honestly, most of us would rather socialize in the company of women anyway!

  5. Fabulous news on your health update Kandi!!! I know you said you weren’t too worried but that has to be a big weight off your shoulders. Thanks for letting us know.


    1. Fi, honestly it was a much bigger weight off of my wife’s shoulders and for that I am grateful.

      I have developed a head down and move forward attitude on my life, but it is certainly a huge relief!

  6. (Note to Kandi – Hooray! Love, Love, Love you and that news).


    What a marvelous observation and creative idea. I often wonder at some GG’s who never “seem” (I can’t really know) to take advantage of their clothing, jewelry and makeup options – and don’t. At the same time, so many of us in the closet are so eager to.

    I have heard of single interest cruises! Or bus trips!

    Years ago, a divorced GG friend of mine, lamented that she had no one to travel with. She is now married and travels regularly. I said, people who are “alone” or “single” should get organized to travel. Some do.

    This has my wheels turning! Wish I could step up as Kandi suggests, but alas….

    Off to the Caribbean later this month, Iceland and Ireland in August/September, Big Sur in September. Wish I could take some of you girls with us.


    1. Crysal,
      I’m getting ” itchy feet ” I love travelling which means I will finally have to decide to make a formal name change , I’m not going to travel with a male passport and driving licence . My son and daughter are OK with the idea although I don’t think they’ve considered all the implications . It will be wonderful to lose ” MR” on my formal documents .

  7. Hi Teresa , I love the idea. I had a quick opportunity to dress today and my wife says to me why do you get changed so many times? ( I do go from one thing to another! ) It’s because I have a lot of nice things that I don’t get to wear because I don’t get a chance. I know my wife is not keen on me going out in public but I could maybe persuade her to be part of something like this as she also has lots of nice clothes she doesn’t get to wear either! Pity I live so far away

  8. Chris,
    The chance to go out dressed with the wife is possible if you choose the right venue . Probably the best way is finding a social group who might be organising a dinner dance like a Xmas party , blending in isn’t a problem and your wife might enjoy it . Going to a show or the theatre works well as it’s in subdued lighting , people are watching the entertainment and not focusing on you .
    I can understand the number of changes when you have limited chances to dress , my choices are dictated by the jobs I need to do , some items might go a whole season or a whole year before I get round to wearing them .

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