As I sit by the pool at 6 am with my latte and croissant, the cats haven’t woken yet. I refer to my friends here at the Tuscany Hotel in Vegas as cats. We jokingly say, it’s like herding cats to get a common decision to go somewhere.
I say that in love and respect for them. They’ll all my family but I want to talk about the effect an event like this can have on someone who’s never attended one.
I want to share a bit about why gatherings like TGRocktober.net, keystone, first event and so many others are such a game-changers for those like us in the transgender community—it’s not just fun, it’s absolutely crucial for your mental health and overall psyche.
Back when I was starting out on this journey, I felt so isolated, like I was the only one grappling with these questions about my identity. No one to talk to, no stories to hear that mirrored my own, and it left me drowning in doubt, anxiety, and even some dark days of depression.
That kind of loneliness can really mess with your head, making everything feel heavier, like you’re carrying this secret burden all by yourself.
But picture this: yesterday I was sitting poolside in Las Vegas with a group of six others, just like me, chatting for hours about our transitions, makeup tips, clothing hacks, wild experiences, and even the everyday stuff. It’s like finally exhaling after holding your breath forever.
Sharing those moments validates everything you’ve been through—it reminds you that you’re not alone, and that boosts your confidence in ways you can’t imagine. From what I’ve learned and felt, psychologists talk about “minority stress,” that constant pressure from society’s stigma and discrimination that wears you down.
Hanging out with people who truly get it cuts through that noise, lowers your stress levels, and helps you regulate your emotions better. It’s like building a shield against the outside world.
Where I live now, I haven’t bumped into another trans person or cross-dresser in five years—it’s that sparse. I drive three hours just for a coffee with a friend. That’s no way to thrive; it can lead to real isolation that chips away at your self-esteem and mental well-being.
Events like TGRocktober? They’re a five-day oasis of freedom, where you live your truth without a single sideways glance or judgment. It’s liberating—it normalizes your life, turns you from feeling like an outsider into part of a warm, supportive circle. That belonging can lift depression, spark joy, and give you the tools to handle tough times, maybe even inspire you to seek out therapy or online groups when you’re back home.
If you’re out there reading this and thinking, “That sounds great, but I can’t make it happen,” trust me—do whatever you can to prioritize it. It’s self-care at its core, nurturing your unique, special self.
You’re not alone. I know many through online chats who only get to express their true self behind closed doors at home. Stepping into these spaces will recharge you, help you grow, and let you live more authentically every day.
Reach out, show up, and let the community wrap you in that strength—we’re all in this together.
Dr. Gwen Patrone
2 Responses
Gwen,
Again I’m in total agreement , it’s all about the process of finding YOU , at the same time you are helping other people to do the same . While we’re all different many of the basics of being transgender are shared throughout the World . As a member of an online forum it was wonderful to share stories with members in Australia , South Africa , North and South America parts of Europe and the UK . Understanding and acceptance are universal problems , perhaps the one big difference is the policy and attitude of some governments . We are so lucky to have the freedom to be US and openly talk about it , in some countries it could mean prison or worse !
I still look back with fond memories of the stay overs in hotels , especially Xmas parties , to dress to the nines for the big party and then remain dressed to share the breakfast table with them and then the uncertainty of driving home dressed or not . That period of my life was filled with funny stories and some lovely friends .
I needed that expererience to build my confidence , in that respect it’s good to say I’ve moved on to where i can dress to the nines and share the table with non-transgender people , to go out freely and be Teresa . My cruise being the big one this year , after that I feel there are no boundaries left .
Gwen, you are so right. I have yet to attend an event like Keystone, but it is something I would really like to do. I do have friends I meet with in person, and that is so important. Talking about our new outfits or makeup tips is so enjoyable. Just getting out as your feminine self is so liberating.
Hugs Julie