I’m a transgender male to female, and I also happen to be a dad of a transgender female to male. As a former US Marine, I fought valiantly, both overseas and within myself, over my feelings and what it truly means to be masculine or feminine.
Can I embrace what I’ve learned through six decades as a male yet transition to female and fully embrace “her” as well? Absolutely. Being a hybrid of both with the essence of both yet a unicorn in a world of uniformity is a journey, one that I embrace wholeheartedly.
The greatest gift we can give one another is who we truly are. To be true to your core, your essence, and be unapologetically you is the greatest gift of all.
As I reflect on this journey, I’m often confronted with the question: “Why do some people seem to hate me?” Is it because they fear what they don’t understand? Is it a result of misinformation and stereotypes that persist in society?
Transgender individuals frequently find themselves caught in the crossfire of political debates and media sensationalism. Headlines often focus on controversy, not compassion, aiming for clicks rather than understanding. Sadly, this can create a cycle where misconceptions thrive and empathy dwindles.
Political narratives sometimes turn human lives into talking points, reducing our experiences to tools for agendas. It’s essential to remember that behind each headline is a real person, navigating an authentic life with challenges and triumphs.
For those who struggle to understand, I invite you to engage with us, to listen, and to learn. Let’s transform misunderstanding into solidarity and replace hatred with hope. After all, it’s through open hearts and open minds that we can build a world that embraces diversity rather than repels it.
Dr. Gwen Patrone
#TransRights #Understanding #Empathy #Community
6 Responses
Gwen,
That really is the big question , “What do they FEAR ?” Do people hate me ? The answer is a few activists who seek to use any means to find fame or infamy , to some the means isn’t important , we just happen to be the flavour of the month !
The other question is when we are about 1% or less of the population why is so much wasted on the transgender issue , why do some get heated when they may have not met a transgender person ?
How many actually take the trouble to understand what it means to be transgender and the reason why it it happens ? This is why I state that a person who crossdresses needs to know what drives that need , if it means accepting you’re transgender then accept it because you know what you are fighting for . It’s sad to say but here in the UK we now have a battle on our hands since the Supreme Court ruling . The debate now being what is ” biological ” ? A transgender person has a brain telling them their body doesn’t correspond to how they feel but the brain is part of them so it must still be biological , whether that person has had surgery or not . Many are also missing the silent ones , or forgotten ones , the women who wish to be men , they are now also part of this ruling as they may now be required to use ” biological sexed ” female facilities .
Going back to the question what do they fear ? Male to female people are the main target as opposed to female to male people , Why ?
We must take care because discimination leads to discimination , could the backlash lead to gay people , what colour your skin is , what religion , the list goes on . We talk about EQUAL RIGHTS we must do our best to defend them .
I’m now making a joke of the ruling , I’ve started to carry a portable commode which has a sign saying ” transgender only !!!”
Every job I had I dealt directly with people in a one to one situation. I met all kinds of people. I tried to treat people on how I would like to be treated. It wasn’t always possible.
Many people make a instant judgement of people. That’s what prejudice is all about. Some people look at us and make an instant judgement. I really don’t care what they think of me. I ignore them and live my life as best I can.
if we accepted that our brain structure is due to a misfire in the womb and stopped blabbing that we are real women and stayed out of girl’s sports maybe here would be a whole lot less of hatred
Emily ,
That is hardly fair on those who have transitioned . Last year I played tennis with the over60s , I could hardly use male facilities when I was accepted as a female . When I applied for my passport last year they requested letters from two professional gender counsellors to confirm I would remain female as my new passport indicated . It’s not a case of ” blabbing ” it’s more a case of applying logic to my appearance .
Besides the whole thing is more about J.K. Rowling trying to prove a point with our current labour government ( power and money !) , the court ruling will prove unworkable as many professional bodies have pointed out . The important point is the court also points out that transgender people haven’t lost their legal rights under the previous transgender act from 2010 .
Gwen, that was an interesting and thought provoking post but the question is where does the hate really reside? I’ve been reading the Kandi’s Land posts daily for several years and never once have I read any accounts of hate against the writer. In fact, day after day, the story is one of respect and love. Sure, I guess we’ve all seen people doing a double take or having a snigger at our expense – I certainly have – but those episodes pale into insignificance compared to all of the times we’re treated just as everyone else, if not positively gushed over. My experiences in the outside world are very limited but I have a warm feeling inside when I think of the sales assistants who went out of their way to make me feel welcome in their world. Of course there will always be those who wear their disapproval with pride but all of the evidence indicates that they are the exception, not the rule.
But look inside the trans ‘community’ and it’s a very different story. Recent developments in the UK regarding the definition of ‘woman’, ‘man’ and ‘sex’ in the Equalities Act have been reported worldwide so no need to repeat here. But who are the ones carrying placards with such messages as ‘saying ‘the only good terf is a – – – – one’ below a picture of a hangman game or ‘rot in hell Rowling’? Who are the ones issuing death threats to JK Rowling? Or the ones threatening ‘cancellation’ to anyone who even questions their narrative, let alone presents an alternative view?
At the end of the day, every trans person I have ever encountered (including everyone here) understands the simple premise that to be accepted as a woman, one must behave like one. If we ask for acceptance in the right way, we will almost always receive it. If we try to demand it, we may not like the consequences – that is not hatred but merely others standing up for their rights, many of which have been hard earned over many decades.
Deal with the ‘enemy within’ and I am 99% certain that, with the exception of a few diehard bigots, the perception of hatred will vanish. Or, in other words, the vast majority of us who mingle with society largely unnoticed will continue to mingle with society largely unnoticed but without the stigma of being associated with those who are hogging the limelight at present.
Amanda,
At the moment it is a case of choosing your friends carefully ! At one time I was prepared to be more in the limelight but now I try and respect other’s rights , by keeping under the radar and blending in I’m possibly doing the community more good . The few looking for confrontation often lose sight of the initial cause , no I don’t agree with J.K.Rowling but on some issues she might have a point but as she is high profile reaction against her is also high profile .
Do I go looking for acceptance ? It is a very gradual process but I could never demand it , unless asked I no longer talk openly about being transgender , acceptance is based on me as a person ( Teresa ) not my gender . If you raise the subject they may judge you or misjudge you , in 7 years no one has asked the question .