Hey everyone!
Today, I wanted to dive into a personal exploration about identity, and I’m super curious to hear your thoughts.
Remember, I’m not trying to tell anyone what to think—just sharing my journey. If this post encourages you to contemplate and consider another point of view, awesome!
So, I’ve been a crossdresser for many years, expressing a part of myself that feels true and beautiful. I’ve posted about my journey many times on my FB wall so I’ll not go deeper again.
Over the last 6 months, I’ve taken Hormone Replacement Therapy (HRT) and decided that breast augmentation was the right next step for me. It’s a big line to cross because I’d always was able to dress mostly female but go the male route when I needed. Now, it’s Gwen all the way.
This brings me to the big question: Does that now make me transgender?
Here’s short definitions:
Crossdressing:
Traditionally, crossdressing involves wearing clothes typically associated with the opposite gender, often for expression or comfort. It doesn’t necessarily relate to one’s gender identity. For many, it’s about inhabiting a space outside the traditional norms, allowing for gender fluidity or exploring different aspects of their personality.
Transgender Identity:
Being transgender typically means identifying with a gender different from the one assigned at birth. It’s an internal understanding and expression of gender identity, which can be accompanied by changes to one’s body and physical presentation, like HRT and surgeries, but doesn’t always have to be.
So, where do I fit into all of this?
Here’s my conversation with myself:
**You:** I’ve taken steps like HRT and breast augmentation because they align with who I’ve realized I am inside. Does that mean I’ve transitioned from being a crossdresser to being transgender?
**Me:** Perhaps. Adopting these steps might reflect a deeper alignment with a transgender identity because they resonate with how you experience your gender internally.
**You:** But is that enough to define my identity as transgender, or is it something only I can decide?
**Me:** Absolutely, only you can define your journey. These steps in HRT and surgery may bring you closer to your true self, transcending the traditional labels. The heart of the matter is where you see yourself, how you feel, and how you identify.
Ultimately your decision is deeply personal. If you consider yourself transgender, embrace that truth. If you see these changes as enhancing your journey as a crossdresser, that’s equally valid.
No path is linear, and embracing every step as part of your unique journey is what matters most. Thank you for reading and respecting this exploration.
Feel free to share your thoughts or experiences if you’re comfortable—this is a learning space for all of us!
Dr. Gwen Patrone
My book Trans Truth is on both Amazon and Audible
4 Responses
Gwen,
Do labels really make a difference ? Sometime ago I suggested that many need to consider treating the label ” crossdresser ” as a verb rather than a noun . Instead of declaring yourself a crossdressers without an explanation use it as a verb , ” I crossdress because ……..” In my case I accept I’m transgender so my visual appearance tells the world how I feel inside .
Hormones and surgery should be consider carefully , the mistake often made is people respond to outside pressure , I nearly fell into that trap , the bottom line is do what you feel is right for you . We are talking about irreversible choices , I’ve lived full time for the last seven years without hormones or surgery time has shown I didn’t need them to achieve acceptance and integration as Teresa . Time has also shown me the road for those who took those steps was a rocky one , one set of circumstances were replaced with new ones with associated problems , they are less happy than me and that is the important point , our happiness .
The world can be a cruel place so whatever label you give yourself if you don’t gain acceptance when crossdressed you will be badly disappointed if you still gain don’t acceptance with hormones and /or surgery . We never totally lose the male core and he will catch you out on occasions no matter what anatomy we have between our legs . Sometimes it’s not what I look like that could be the problem it’s something I may have said that can raise an eyebrow .
If I may make a suggestion , if possible try living full time as Gwen before taking further steps , if you can’t sustain it then think twice before going further . It took me about six months before I felt comfortable and confident but saying that I still push the envelope , eventually you realise you don’t need the ” man ” at all , for me that is what resolved my GD issues , not hormones or surgery .
Teresa and Gwen,
I label my self as a femulator and have for more than fifteen years although I have crossdressed on occasion going back another 5-10 years since my wife died. However, It has only during the femulator years that I have felt and truly enjoyed living my femininity without shame or embarrassment and have had a circle of CIS woman who understand treat me as another Gal. All are very comfortable in our dialogues and relationships and yet each is different depending on our their individual personalities and the basis for our relationship. We have enjoyed Girl parties at Marie’s cottage and do a girl thing (shopping or dinner out) get together at least once a month, sometimes spontaneously once or twice two a week.
Marie
While I do not dress full time I do dress more than I don’t
Not always totally en fem either. I might just be generic female clothing and makeup
Do I consider myself trans? Yes I do believe I fall under that term. I’m very much gender fluid or bi-gendered as some say.
I’ve learned I just need to be me. And having this female side to me has been difficult at times but I’ve learned I just have to adjust when needed but yes I am trans
No not female but yes trans
I really think it is important for people to know there really isn’t a threshold or checklist where one would consider them transgender. One can be transgender and not take hormones or have surgeries. One can be transgender and not “transition.” Being transgender is not a choice. But the act of transitioning IS a choice.
Once I started to see my male self as a “mask” or fraudulent depiction of me, I couldn’t unsee that. Kind of like once you see The Matrix you can’t unknow that.
Only you can know if you are transgender. It certainly goes beyond clothes. Though clothes augment my inner femininity. For me, transitioning is too impractical so I am one of many hidden transwomen that goes about their day living dual lives.
-Christina