Human Rights Campaign Dinner 2024 – Part 2

Back to the evening…

The best part of the day, as I reveled in this, was the angel known as my wife. This dress fit perfectly, which meant while it was exactly right, getting everything zipped and hooked was difficult for me, so before I did my makeup, etc., my wife helped me with all of that. I did warn her that it’s not always great to see how the sausage is made, so to speak!

I am not sure I can properly explain what it is like to literally be told how beautiful you are and/or how beautiful your dress is (“my dress” still gives me chills to this day). If I got one compliment, I git probably a hundred. It helped that I was the only lady in red and I was the main greeter.

All evening I collected hug after hug. But here was the most interesting story. I worked a transgender job fair as a volunteer, probably eight years ago. A woman remembered me from that day, even what I was wearing! So at the end of the evening, as the lights were being turned off, I talked at length about some of the things I shared with you all yesterday. I talked about how I have so much respect for woman, always wanting to represent by trans sisters with dignity, class and grace. I do know that this effort absolutely makes a difference, especially when I see the dud with a beard in a cocktail dress at the dinner. I know, be your authentic self, but I also know how to effect real change, how to be viewed positively by strangers and not as an oddity. We do have to get along to get along…

Four women talking. Me quite literally pouring my heart out. Me crying, being vulnerable. As strange as this may sound, the more vulnerable I allow myself to be, the more emboldened I feel. See that smile? It was on my face every second in that dress, every minute at the event.

I could not shut it down when I got home. The nails (press on) were perfect, comfortable, strong, not limiting my already challenged fingers. I basically stayed in female mode (sans wig and makeup) in bed and the next day. My wife went to work, so I just was a woman all day. Ran errands. Went for a walk. Did some cooking and food prep. Just mostly I “was”. And I was grateful and I am grateful and I am the luckiest girl in the world. This is my simple outfit for the day.

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12 Responses

  1. Kandi,
    Whether it is shorts and a t-shirt, or a gala ball gown, you are a beautiful lady.

    I think that, as does everyone who meets you.

    Love,
    Jocelyn

  2. Kandi,
    One of the lucky ones to have an Angel for a wife , can you really find the words to express that feeling of sharing Kandi with a close loved one . She knows what is beneath but at the same time saw the woman in you and how it makes you feel .
    Sadly we just don’t get enough opportunities to wear a full length gown , I have a very cherished one given by my gender counsellor , I shall never forget that kind gesture .

    I admit I got myself into hot water by commenting on dressing and beards , I admit I’m biased about beards as my father hid behind his , he was an overpowering bully . So the two are totally incompatible to me , being authentic to yourself is fine as you comment but rightly or wrongly society might not be on your wavelength , personally I want to be included in society not outcast from it .

    Remaining Kandi on your return was wonderful , I’ve tried sleeping in a wig but it didn’t work for me , it’s one of those moments when I wish it was my own hair , most suppliers suggest not sleeping in them besides I leave mine overnight to dry after a wash and conditioner .

  3. Kandi, the red dress is absolutely gorgeous, and I love the sheer wrap you added. What a fantastic evening that must have been, topped only by the assistance of your lovely wife.

  4. So lovely again in your dress, yes I love those words too.
    And as just a girl being a girl in your shorts is just wonderful and yes I wear what I wear every day and yes it might be a ladies top or shorts but no wig but I don’t try and make it look to silly as it were but as normal as can be.
    Another great post

  5. Kandi,

    A Goregeous gown and a delicate negligee can evoke a most deep feeling of our feminity HOWEVER I suggest that a pair of pink or black short-shorts and a yellow-cold-shoulder soft top can also energize a fun feeling of a girl that can last all day and into the evening and is enhanced while performing all the typical things that are female or invoke a part of our inner sense of being a female. An original and unique sense of being your feminity in thought, appearance and attitude tat belongs to you alone and that you want to share with other girls be just one of the girls and acceptted as a member of their special gossip circle.

    Just a thought. We all must enjoy our inner self.
    Hugs to all.
    Marie Anne Greene

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