How I Explain Myself

When interacting with anyone, no matter the situation, I am 100% open and honest. Obviously, no one thinks I am a woman. I make no secret that I am not Kandi all the time. I make no secret that I am married to a woman, am heterosexual, have grown children. When asked what I do for a living, I tell the (painful) truth. You have to understand, I am Kandi and she is me. In my head, there is no difference. The view from behind my glasses is always the same. Your view, a different story. You can see here I only refer to Kandi in the third person to differentiate her in the context of a story, otherwise she is me and I am her.

When someone tiptoes around asking me a question, as most are very curious, I tell them to ask whatever they wish. I tell them that I cannot be offended. How can I hope to educate people if I don’t entertain questions? And if I am not honest with my answers? I answer any and all questions. I have rarely had anything asked that was borderline inappropriate and when that may have occurred, it was usually in a playful fashion.

It has been quite remarkable to me that generally, people just “get me”. They think “so what”, he’s wearing a dress and she looks pretty good doing it! I get “he” and “she” intermixed quite often, even by those closest to me. It is never done derisively, always with an ease about it. Many naturally refer to me as she, I love that! Those that refer to me as “he” do so with a complete acceptance of how I am dressed and respect me regardless. I do speak in both tone and manner, as a man (you now know this from our YouTube videos).

I am by nature a humble person, more like life has humbled me (considerably). Life is not a competition, although many view it that way. We have to love and support each other. While that may not be the way of the world, it is how I try to live my life.

I have many blessings in my life, also many challenges. My purpose in life now is to give, to support those like myself. As well as those suffering, like the cancer patients I support (more like provide any help I can). But I don’t suffer fools well. Whatever I can do to help and support, I am very happy to do so. Treat me unfairly, I will no longer tolerate you. I spent a considerable amount of time supporting an arts-related, LGBT-related charity. Their clear casualness about not appreciating their many volunteers finally reached a point where I simply will not longer give them my most precious resource (to me personally), my time. I will direct that elsewhere instead.

This was written pre-COVID. It still is true, but of course, everything is different for everyone. I guess I’ve taken my “calling” to the virtual world by trying to bring smiles with my photo shoots while scratching the itch for myself. My purpose is to simply be an example, to inspire other girls.

This has been a remarkable ride and I am looking forward to what’s next.

That’s me in a big pink bow!

I wrote this quite some time ago. All of it is true, but now I have continued to evolve. I know in my heart of hearts, I am a woman. I do not present myself as a crossdresser. I do not present myself as a transwoman. I present myself as a woman. What you see, what you perceive, that is on you. I have seen so many interpretations of ladies like myself. I believe we are a mix of things. I have seen those that wear pantyhose all the time. All the time? No woman does that, that is a fetish. Okay, but not who I am. I have seen those that dress to the nines to sit at home. Again, okay, but not what women do. That is again a fetish. I am simply a woman. You can argue what defines what a “woman” is, but I won’t get into that. That is me, I am her, I am him, I am me.