I think this is the best and most meaningful narrative I’ve ever written.
Sherry Greer
My friend Lori is one of two people who knows about Sherry at work. I documented in Kandi’s blog previously how the two of us went to a fashion show, out to eat, and a drag show. We have talked about what Sherry means to my overall well-being as a person and because of these discussions with her and my other work friend (and a few others) I continue to grow and develop into a person that looks in the mirror and sees a person that they love looking back!
There is a poem called The Man in the Glass. It talks about being happy with the person staring back at you. For the first 50 years of my life I wasn’t happy with the person staring back at me. At age 50 a switch flipped in my head and I started living for me and not what and how society says I should live. This has caused some stress for sure but overall I now am happy with the (wo)man in the glass.
Having too much time on all of our hands recently has allowed me to reflect on many things (Kandi has mentioned the effects of idle minds) about who I am. I recently sent some of the pictures included in this narrative to a mutual friend of mine and Kandi’s who is very involved in the local Plexus organization. She said that my transformation looks so natural and asked if I was Sherry full-time yet. Now remember, my goal every time I go out is to be 100% passable. I take great strides to perfect the process. I desire that natural conversation with another where there’s no double take and it’s just two women (mostly) talking.
I also LOVE being a husband, father, son, brother…I would be lost without my wife of 30 years who I knew I loved the first time I saw her walking in the high school hallway. I would be lost without our son who has grown into a hard working and fun loving man. I started this post thinking it was going to be another superficial narrative of my adventure with Lori but it quickly diverted to something deeper.
Kandi often comments that I tell a lot of people about Sherry and I do. I would guess that at least 10-15 friends and relatives know about her. Why do I tell people? I know I’m being repetitive here but this was a defining moment in my life. My idle mind came to the conclusion that for the first 50 years of my life I was the person society said I should be. I remember being cold inside, not wanting to be touched, having little emotion. I was able to love but didn’t love the person in the mirror.
The last four years of my life has been a revelation of sorts, a renaissance into my inner soul. I now love to be touched and hugged and love to reciprocate especially towards my wife. My desire to please my wife has never been higher. Those 10-15 people who know Sherry and my male self know and accept the complete me. I know that these people are my true friends and support group. The poem refers to putting your best forward and being happy and satisfied with that reflection. I sincerely try to do that daily. Every day is not easy but staying positive helps!
Included here are pictures of my couple days with Lori, I think the smile on my face is broader now than it’s ever been.
Stay beautiful-Sherry
9 Responses
Sherry,
I just read your previous blog , the one where you told us about going out with your wife and her gradual support and the buying of a Wedding Ring together. You both are to be congratulated for making a fuller life together and of course SHE really needs to thanked for her understanding and support.
Marie Anne
Marie Anne,
Thanks, it’s definitely a process! The conversation has been painful at times but the progression has been positive. We’ve come a long way and still have a ways to go!
Stay beautiful-Sherry
You really put on a good show your first 50 years. I never knew growing up with you and I’m sorry I didn’t pay more attention. Since I have known about Sherry, I can see that you are happy and you do what you want! I have actually received the best gift…..I have a brother and sister in one loving beautiful soul ❤!!
Love you, Dawny
Thank you very much for sharing Sherry. The readers of this post are blessed that you have related to them your deepest thoughts.
You are a very special person.
Love,
Jocelyn
Thanks Jocelyn! We’ve all gone through it. Hope to see you soon 💋
Sherry,
Why do we have the need to tell people when we start off comfortably in the closet ? Why aren’t we content with a few treasured moments being something we’ve dreamt about and wished for ?
I know the feeling when we feel so good about ourselves we want to shout it to the World BUT then there is the reality of close family and friends who don’t see it that way .
It’s quite illogical that on one hand we hide in the closet and yet we join online forums where half the English speaking World can read all about us .
We choose to tell one close friend and it goes well but what happens if they talk to their close and trusted friends , suddenly the net widens and we start to lose control and start to regret the decision but it’s too late . So how do we deal with it ? We have two choices one is bury ourselves deeper in the closet or take the bull by the horns and show the World what we look like . Most take the second option , we build in small steps , the odd drive , a secret walk or a careful browse though the shops , so it goes well and the next time is braver until we are finally staring the World in the face as the person we prefer to be .
It is possible to retain the contact with family , being transgender doesn’t remove the love and care for them , OK I’m now divorced but I haven’t lost my son or daughter and my grandchildren , I hoped I could remain on a friendly basis with my EX , I made it clear my door was always open to them all , that is all I can do .
I agree everyday isn’t easy but at least if we can face the World as we prefer to be it makes life that bit easier .
Teresa,
It’s a slippery slope but ultimately we have to be who we are ❤️
Sherry
Sherry,
As I sit here before going to work I am totally dress as Cali, head to toe. And I love it. I like the woman I see in the mirrow, she’s pretty, even foxy. (LOL)
I glad you fell more complete now, keep growing. Never stop growing.
Cali
Cali,
Good for you! I want to get to that point ❤️
Sherry