Have you ever felt like life is hard? Like it can sometimes be a struggle to get up in the morning and do all of the things that you have to do?
Do you ever wake up feeling constantly tired and stressed? Does life just seem too much? Sure, I get it. You have lots of work to do. You have debt maybe. Maybe you’re tired from shopping and maybe you’ve got a stomach ache.
Let’s have a little perspective for a moment. Is your life “really hard” or is it your perception that’s flawed?
Whatever is happening to us only has power over us of what we allow it to give. “Really hard” compared to what? Let me back up.
If you put a box in a room, is it big or small? The answer is that it’s neither. It just is. Now bring in another box that’s bigger. Is it big or small compared to the new box? It’s smaller.
You see, we give value and perspective to most everything as it compares to something else. Is something good or bad as it relates to you? That depends on what? Is it good? Yes. Is it bad? Yes. It depends. See what I mean?
Now back to my original story.
Compare what I’ve described above with a true warrior. Think about someone who sleeps rough, unsure of whether or not they’re going die during the night. Then they wake up, no time for a shower or a nice breakfast, and they leap straight into action. They ignore their wounds, they take lives, and they see their friends, and their brothers in arms shot and killed in front of them.
But no, I get it. You’re tired. You had to work until 6 pm last night… What I’m getting at, is that your life isn’t “really hard”. You might think it’s hard and sometimes it might feel hard. It’s only hard according to the value we give “hard” and when we reframe it compared to something else such as the warrior, “really hard” loses its power over us doesn’t it?
There are people out there with much worse lives than you. There are people out there who live with crippling illness and not two cents to rub together. And many of them do this with dignity, grace and bravery that puts the rest of us to shame.
You see, the warrior within actually has nothing to do with combat. It’s more of a mental mindset.
In fact, the hooligans that start bar fights and that think they’re ‘hard’ for starting fights are about as far from true warriors as it gets. Ask any of my veteran friends who has seen real combat if they would want to risk their health and waste their energy on looking for trouble.
The warrior within is much different. This is about knowing what you want and going for it. It’s about being hard on the inside and outside and it’s about not letting little things get you down because they’re insignificant.
In the stoic way, some things are just not in your control so they are a waste of time and energy worrying about.
It’s about pushing ahead with what you know is right and it’s about carrying responsibility and hardship on your shoulders with dignity and pride.
It’s about having the right perception of situations so you make proper decisions.
It’s about using obstacles as reasons to get better rather than reasons for limitations.
It’s about not letting your emotions get the better of you and it’s about not taking the easy answer or the easy route to solve your problems.
Some will read my post and GET TRIGGERED, while some will read this and GET INSPIRED. It’s really your choice.
How you react to external stimuli is YOUR CHOICE. Be tough. Grow a spine. Decide what’s worth getting upset about and what you should release and let go of.
Hey, life’s not easy.
Being a Transgender woman has its challenges. Not only is the journey filled with mental and physical challenges but social obstacles to overcome as well. Take them all in stride and as events that’ll make you stronger, more resilient and a better person for it.
Our challenges make us who we are. Avoid what you can but take what you can’t in stride.
I’m hoping this post has inspired you to have a new perspective on life’s challenges.
Become an elite warrior.
Be Strong.
Dr. Gwen Patrone
7 Responses
Gwen,
I couldn’t agree any more with what you say in this post.
Well done.
Jocelyn
Gwen,
I can’t dispute the truth in your post but for some it isn’t as black and white as you suggest .
That hard inner core and tough outer shell aren’t 100% resilient , everyone has chinks in their armour . As a young person I’d never suffered from depression we have youth on our side so we ride over things , they don’t affect us because we don’t have responsibilites . Stress is important as we learn resilience , too much and our brains become saturated , our chemistry changes the first signs of depression gradually creep in . The signs are a reluctance to jump out of bed in the morning which gradually extends to a fear of facing the world . In reality life hasn’t become any harder but our brains are telling a different story . The revelation of being transgender can make matters worse because we often can’t face our immediate family , we sink into a black hole which is scary because it has no bottom .
Somehow we have to discover that Warrior within us , does it become a period of being selfish or is it a period of understanding and believing the truth ? Outside help is available but do we have the strength and courage to take it ? If we consider the options there is no choice if we want to function as a normal human being again .
I don’t consider myself a Warrior , some say I’m a strong person , a brave person , in fact all I wanted to be was a normal person again , to function happily in the RW . I can’t deny there are bad days as well as good but I now face them on better terms as Teresa if I tried to face them as a man I doubt I would still be alive but I’m very much alive as the person I prefer to be .
I hope some don’t read this post as a “put down ” , so many things happen to change our lives , some we can control and some we can’t . what we need to learn is where to find the help and support to find and boost our inner strength .
Gwen,
I must say I think this picture is my favorite picture of you, this appears to be your hair, no breastplate… Just you! You look beautiful ❤️😘
Sherry
The saying that Life is “Hills and Valleys ” is something I have seen to be so true throughout my life. I have seen others first hand go through some very difficult situations. I consider myself blessed in many ways. I have struggled with my Femme side as long as I remember. Thankfully over the years I have met others like myself which made life easier.
GWEN,
Totally concur. We must continue the journey with an occassional protective fight/duel along the way.
Marie Anne
You are so right Gwen, being a Transgender woman can be extremely challenging for many. Fully accepting oneself as trans will often make it less challenging but that’s not easy for everyone to do unfortunately.
Fiona
Gwen,
I agree with Sherry, you look beautiful. And authentic.
Here’s another example of ‘is your life hard’.
I have a friend who has hard two hips replaced, had his apendix ruptured, … and he looks at me as a person who has had MORE ‘stuff’ and I looked to another friend who got cancer twice, the second time fatal as who has had a harder life.
I don’t dwell on what has happened because it has led me become who I am today. Why be miserable when you can be happy?
Cali