Here’s a thought: If people felt safe enough to share their “real” opinions, we’d probably find we have way more in common than we think.
How many of you feel pressured to go along with the loudest voices even though you don’t agree?
Do you stay silent for fear of losing a “friend”?
Social pressure is making it hard for anyone to be truly honest, especially on big issues like defund the police, political topics, gender and transgenderism and more. The truth is, a lot of us are quietly holding back how we really feel because we’re afraid of being judged or canceled.
But that silence means we never get to the deeper conversations where real understanding happens. I read this report and it was a real eye opener for me. The *Social Pressure Index* from Populace (.org) shows just how wide the gap is between what people say publicly vs. what they actually believe in private. And spoiler alert – that gap is HUGE.
These wide gaps public versus private opinion are on almost all topics. Since so many who read my posts can relate the these, here are three poll questions given. Here are some of the top findings from the poll on transgenderism:
**Question 1:** “Do you believe transgender athletes should compete in sports according to their gender identity?” – **Public opinion:** 65% support – **Private opinion:** 45% support
**Question 2:** “Should schools teach gender identity starting in elementary school?” – **Public opinion:** 60% agree – **Private opinion:** 40% agree
**Question 3:** “Do you support the right to choose one’s gender on legal documents like driver’s licenses and passports?” – **Public opinion:** 70% support – **Private opinion:** 50% support
These numbers show how much pressure people feel to conform to public narratives, even if their true beliefs are different.
My post is not to debate these questions. It’s to show how social pressure forms public opinions regardless of private beliefs. I find it fascinating.
Imagine if we could have more open conversations without fear of social backlash – we’d probably find that we’re not as divided as we think.
Then the healing can really happen. Let’s start encouraging honest, thoughtful dialogue without hateful insults, instead of forcing people into silence.
Dr. Gwen Patrone
8 Responses
Gwen, that was a very interesting and thought provoking post – far too short, though, and I would have loved to read a deeper dive into this whole issue!
Of course, we’re now not only battling social pressures but also legal ones with moves on both sides of The Atlantic to stifle free speech – in the UK, we even have ‘non crime hate incidents’ where the police still record incidents even though no crime has been committed – voicing concerns about gender ideology is one such example of this. There’s also the fear factor; if, in our male guise, we were in a group of guys making negative comments about the trans community, would we risk others drawing conclusions about us by speaking out against their viewpoint?
As the legalisation of gay marriage proved, opposing views have to be voiced and debated to end up at the right answer. Silencing one side of any debate invariably moves us backwards from where we want to be.
Hi Amanda,
Great points to be sure.
Talking and debating ideas on both sides is needed along with negotiation and compromise.
Gwen
Gwen,
Part of the problem is when asked an open question in public people may answer more off the top of their heads , it may not have been a questioned they’ve thought deeply about . To then ask the question in private allows them to consider it more deeply , they may consider the options if they were closer to home .
I can’t claim to be totally devoid of this as I’m sure most people are but I had to learn to think outside the box for many years . As a self employed photographer I had to consider fresh ideas , find new ways to an old problem , create some thing wonderful out of the mundane . Sometimes people liked what I did and sometimes they didn’t , OK to a point I did try to prove them wrong and myself right .
The problem with society is they often follow the heard instinct to stay safe . The one thing I hate is people who argue in a destructive way , if you want to present an argument make it a constructive one .
It’s a shame you choose not to debate the questions in your post , the point is how universal they are .
As far as public opinion is concerned I chose to take up my option to formally change name and gender marker to obtain a new driving licence and passport , my battle wasn’t with the public but the passport office but I won !!
Hi Teresa,
The big point I thought was how destructive some can get with a conversation. They do verbal personal attacks that get downright nasty. Totally not productive. This is almost always because they have lost the logical debate and are desperate for anything to what they see as a win.
Gwen
Gwen,
Your question is a good one, as too many times people fail to engage one on one (the level where understanding begins). I view those poll results, however, as very negative rather than positive. In each case what was expressed publicly was more in our favor than what was expressed privately. That means that people felt the pressure to support us, but their personal prejudice came out when they were able to speak privately. One reason politicians can make social issues a wedge issue is that they can give room for people to express their prejudices. Suddenly, for example, the social pressure to give minorities opportunities is cast aside in favor of support for your own tribe. One of my concerns about losing support for publicly-funded education is my belief that over a generation, good education can break down a family-supported prejudice, as one gains a window into a bigger world.
We need a two front approach to change people’s views of us: one-on-one engagement, which has clearly benefited the gay community over time, as well as broad education, which reaches a bigger audience.
Thank you for your post.
Lisa
Hi Lisa,
Thanks. Although the poll results appear negative, we can use them to get more accurate assessments of polls so we know where we stand rather than faux feelings of the public.
Gwen
DR. Gwen,
I really enjoyed your post and think it applies to something I have written about over the years. From what I have experienced passing is a major goal for most crossdressers but, do they really? I think in some cases yes but many that think they do, don’t. My thinking is that people know who you are but don’t want to go there. The same reluctance experienced in your survey I think applies to many areas in society. Rather than worrying about passing I feel its better to not focus on passing and enjoy the level of freedom that is out there for us. While maybe not accepted we are not necessarily rejected either so take advantage of the tolerance society is affording us. The more positive experiences we give people while out in public the more acceptance we will enjoy.
Dress and act like a lady, go out and have fun.
Thanks,
Micki
Hi Micki,
I think many give pleasantries to the crossdresser to give a good vibe to them when they honestly think otherwise. That’s not societal pressure but courtesy. I have no problem with that. It’s just being kind. ☺️
Gwen